The Argentine Affair: The Movie
Okay, here's the pitch:
A Republican Governor from South Carolina disappears. For days. Nobody notices at first. When they start to ask questions, journalists are surprised to find that the Gov's wife doesn't seem upset and his staffers are oddly calm. Police aren't even called in. The FBI isn't informed. Didn't I tell you this would be a big movie?!
Well, after four days, his staff tells us he's off hiking the Appalachian Trail. Naturally. He loves the outdoors. Makes perfect sense that the Governor of South Carolina would inexplicably disappear, skip Father's Day with his kids, and go on a hike in the woods by himself. By this point, the audience knows that this wasn't just a hike. Something is very, very wrong. Maybe he was kidnapped? Blackmailed? Drugs? Whatever it is, it's big. Very big.
So, next thing that happens is that the Gov's car is spotted at the airport! Oh, man. This is getting serious. A reporter stakes out the terminal, finally catching the Gov... on his way back from Buenos Aires! Amazing, right?! It's like The Bourne Identity! The Governor was in Argen-frikin'-tina, baby! Can you say "Big Tentpole?!"
Okay, now we're ready for the Big Reveal! Here it comes! Get ready! Hold onto your ass...
HE WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR!
(sound of crickets)
You're passing? Are you crazy? What's not original? Did I mention Argentina?! Do you know how many Evita jokes we're going to tell!
Okay, wait. I have another idea. A reality show starring Newt Gingrich, Larry Craig, David Vitter, Mark Foley, John Ensign, and Ted Haggard. They're all stuck in the jungle together, eating bugs and wiping their asses with palm leaves. The host is Rush Limbaugh. It's called....
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Maybe Argentina wants a used Governor? Maybe he would have a future in politics down there. What the heck, get him outta here already.
That presser he gave yesterday revealed a mentally unbalanced man who needs to take a rest. What the heck do we care about his sex life...what about his wife and kids being humiliated on TV from coast to coast?
He could hardly stop himself from giving us the whole damned history of his amazing friendship with benefits with an email pal. "...it all started innocently enough"....
I don't believe he was in Argentina, I think he was on the Appalachian trail with a walking stick, walking and waxing poetically to himself, day-dreaming, conjuring up his imaginary nude female with 2 fists full of womanly pair, hovering over curves below...ahhhhh.
This is the book he wants to write...exercise that artist that hovers within -- and yearns to desert the wife and kids. Oy vey!
Resign.
You forgot Jimmy Swaggart.
Mark & Jenny plus Hypocrisy
That's a reality show I'd watch. Add Rod Blagovich, Michelle Bachman, and Sarah Palin to the mix for some comedic moments.
Here's another starring cast for you. Ted Kennedy, Gerry Studds, Bill Clinton, John Edwards. And in his day, JFK. http://theclosetconservative.com
WOW.
rrrreeeeaachiiiinnnngggg....
It's called....."I'm a HYPOCRITE get me out of here...."
great name!
Man meets woman. Man marries woman. Man sees other woman. Man F***S other woman. So, can someone please tell me WHAT IS NEWS HERE? Men are ruled by their genitals, period.
Tax payer money....right wing family values nut....thinks OTHERS should resign for cheating, believes in the "SANCTITY" of marriage. And so on.
"Mid Life Crisis meets Hipocricy 12 Step"
Sounds as unlikely as that storyline about the populist President, elected to save the country from a gang of thieving bankers, hiring them on as his advisors.
Despite his seeming honesty, gift of gab and nice-sounding speeches, his henchmen manage to complete the theft and leave the country bankrupt. Everybody's shocked, positively shocked!
Something like Oceans 2009...
funny how the ending to your story includes about 3 and a half years of assumptions.....
funny how this other story... has actually already occured.
ur RIGHT!!!!!!!!
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