I once dated a woman who was happy. She slept well, ate when she was hungry and exercised when her body needed it. I had insomnia, ate gallons of chocolate chip ice cream and ran eight miles a day. She felt good when something good happened and bad when something bad happened. I felt anxious no matter what happened. She shared her dreams of verdant meadows and flowing rivers. After a time, I stopped sharing my naked/unprepared for the final exam reruns.
We both had plenty to be thankful for, and she experienced more real-world tragedy than I. I didn't want her to be neurotic, but it seemed unfair that she got to be so much happier.
A new study by UCLA life scientists found that the oxytocin receptor gene (OXTR) is a strong predictor of optimism and self-esteem. Apparently, if you're missing certain nucleotides at a specific location on that gene, you're much more likely to see the glass as half full. If you have 'em, the researchers say, you're likely to have "substantially lower levels of optimism, self-esteem and mastery, and significantly higher levels of depressive symptoms" than your more fortunate brethren.
This survey has been hailed as a breakthrough, but its basic message -- that humans are born with a tendency toward a "happiness quotient" -- comes as no great surprise. Google the phrase "happy gene" and you'll get various older citations pointing to the conclusion that about half of our sense of well-being is inherited. Other scientists claim that a different gene (5-HTTLPR) regulates the neurotransmitter serotonin, aka the "happy hormone."
And then there's the "happy hour gene," which may explain why some of your friends can drink you under the table and still wake up on the right side of the bed the next morning.
Some reacted to the UCLA findings by connecting the news with the desire -- presumably among the happy-gene deprived -- to achieve better living through chemistry. One blogger led with, "Happy Gene Discovered by UCLA Researchers (And It's Not Called Cocaine)." And there was a spirited Facebook thread which confused oxytocin with OxyContin, a powerful narcotic that makes people so happy that if it weren't also highly addictive, we could just put it in the water supply and forget the whole discussion.
I'm convinced, of course, that I possess the glass-half-empty gene -- a certainty that may be evidence I'm right. But the survey results also brought a sense of relief that my default state of mind isn't some kind of weakness.
In fact, scientists behind the UCLA survey emphasize that the effects of the happy gene are far from determinative. If you have the gene for green eyes, you will have green eyes. But the happiness gene appears to be more malleable. Myriad factors -- a mother's nurturing, good sex, close friendships, therapy, exercise and meditation practice -- can improve your oxytocin levels and facilitate optimism and self-esteem.
I mentioned this to a Type-A friend whose basic feeling-state is a cocktail of dread mixed with self-laceration. He was too busy multi-tasking to give a considered reply, but managed to blurt, "No time for sex, meditation or exercise! Perhaps I can do all three at once."
It does no good to fret about our genes. Besides, happiness is in the eye of the beholder. As one of my favorite Genes -- Pitney -- observes in song, "To you it may seem like misery but, for me, this is happy." Self-pity may be counterproductive, but I would have been unhappy growing up in a town without Pitney.
After reading about the UCLA study, I resolved to find out more about how the other half lives. So I visited the Facebook page, Happy Gene. This did not make me happier because I ran head-on into the message, "Happy only shares some information with everyone. If you know Happy, add her as a friend or send her a message."
If you're lucky enough to have the happiness gene, no need to ruminate about the whys and wherefores. You're probably not reading this anyhow. You're having too good a time white-water rafting, marveling at a sunrise or just basking in the wonderfulness of your own company.
Follow Michael Sigman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/majorsongs
The more science discovers about emotions, the better they can help those of us with mood disorders. I'm glad it's being studied because it gives me hope that I won't have to struggle to stay "happy". Maybe someday I'll be better.
You obviously do not know what depression is.
It's a medical, chemical illness. A cancer patient isn't going to get well if you tell them to "surround themself with healthier people." It's not that simple. Neither is depression. And it's certainly not a synonym for disappointment.
"Continue as You Intended when You Began" Mark Twain
Every day is another chance for bliss. I just take them as they come. Sure I have had many horrible things happen to me in my life, but so have many other people. I just pick myself up, dust myself off and carry on.
"Continue as You Intended when You Began" Mark Twain
"Continue as You Intended when You Began" Mark Twain
Embrace each new day with joy, accepting Life's challenges. It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor in material things or where you live. What matters is how YOU react to a situation that makes the difference in what level of stress you will have.
Take time daily to sit & think about the blessings you have & take for granted. Enjoy each sun beam, breeze blowing, birds singing, etc. Savor each kindness someone shows or does for you. Close your eyes & relive each act of caring that says YOU are someone special someone shows you! It can be as simple as someone's smile, a hug from your child or partner or a nice thing someone did for you.
Laugh! People just don't seem to laugh much any more. I laugh every day even if I have to look in the mirror & see that old face looking back at me. That old person has the eyes I had when I was young, but that face I see sure gets me to laughing at the trick Nature got a kick at playing
It's like walking - you stand up, you take a step, you pick yourself up when you fall, and you just keep walking until it becomes natural to you. Happy is the same. I could "choose" to dwell on my rotten childhood or I can choose to learn the lessons and rejoice that I survived the learning. And to decide NOT to do that to anyone else and spoil their life in large or small ways.
The real trick is to continue to practice happy as you get older, or be ready for a miserable few decades of loneliness, because people do not intentionally want to spend time with unhappy folks.
Practice happy. Be an actor portraying a happy person. Not giddy, not gushy, not funny, but serenely.
Practice lifting the corners of your mouth - those muscles lifted trigger a lot of good-feeling chemicals.
Prop your fists under your cheekbones and rest your head on them if you are out of practice at natural smiling.
Find things to be happy about. Find people to share happy times. "Happy" is contagious.
Here's hoping you find your happy moments!
You're right about the lifting the corners of your mouth and looking for things to be happy about. But fake it till you make it can lead to serious life threatening problems.
I'm up and on with my day hours before they open their eyes and it burns them up that I'm happy most of the time.
I don't have a secret but I believe in watching every sunrise and every sunset and realizing how lucky I am to get that priviledge.
Maybe mindset has something to do with it. I never knew constant worry to do anything but make someone miserable. If your feeling bad , help someone else , you'll feel better and so will they.
Don't worry , be happy.
Wishing everyone on the Internet today good health and much happiness !
Hoping you all have a great day !!
Especially the people who hate what I just wrote ...
I really hope you all have a great day , at least for today !!!
Try it , you just might like it.
I don't have a secret but I believe in watching every sunrise and every sunset and realizing how lucky I am to get that priviledgeÂ.
Maybe mindset has something to do with it. I never knew constant worry to do anything but make someone miserable. If your feeling bad , help someone else , you'll feel better and so will they.
I question:
My family hates me , they are late sleepers and slow waker uppers and they have a lot of bad days.
I'm up and on with my day hours before they open their eyes and it burns them up that I'm happy most of the time.
You are clearly a mixed bag.