Hooray for Vajayjay!

I have a distinct memory of a particular eighth-grade science class in junior high, circa 1976. When a buddy of mine was called on and asked to name the male and female genitalia, he quickly responded, "The penis and the Virginia."

That's stuck with me all these years. It's a reminder of the difficulty men of all ages have had in coming up with the proper name for what's in the female zone. (I think that's been since pre-historic times, but I'm not sure.)

Funny how we've never had similar trouble with our own plumbing: pecker, johnson, shaft and rod always seem to do the trick just fine. But things have always been more complicated when it comes to women.

And not just for what we guys call it, but women's usage, too.

Vagina has always been out there, but it's never been quite right. It's uninviting, and seems to have an edge to it. There are plenty of other choices, including the dreaded c-word, which is nasty.

Harvard psychology professor Steven Pinker counts at least 1,200 terms for the vagina in the history of the English language.

But we've never settled on any other.

This is why I'm among the many who've hailed the arrival of "vajayjay." Finally, we seemed to be making progress - we'd identified a word that can safely be used by men, women and children. While I knew it was gaining in usage, I didn't recognize, until I read it in Sunday's New York Times that the first media utterance of "vajayjay" came during a 2006 episode of Grey's Anatomy when a pregnant doctor told a male intern: "Stop looking at my vajayjay." The word's mainstream appeal was cemented when Oprah started using it on her program.

So far, so good.

But the Times also shed light on controversy in certain quarters. It seems like Eve Ensler and Gloria Steinem are unenthused about adding "vajayjay" to the lexicon. And a Manhattan OB/GYN was actually quoted as saying the word is a step backward.

After hours of reflection, and in consultation with my man friends, I think I have it figured out.

Pardon my directness, but I refuse to beat around the bush. The feminists, it seems, have a proprietary interest in female genitalia.

No matter what you call it, many feminists don't want guys attracted to it. If it were up to them, there'd be an image at www.dictionary.com with a sign next to "vagina" reading "No men allowed."

This is why I think they like the status quo. Vagina is a tough word that refuses to roll easily off the tongue. It has such a sense of taboo that nobody feels totally comfortable talking about it - not even women, but especially men. So use of the word remains almost exclusively to the feminists.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but it seems that vajayjay is different. Unlike the starkly clinical vagina, I see a vajayjay as a happy and inviting place, with a warm and fuzzy connotation. Vajayjay says "hello . . . welcome" and "open for business." "Vagina" screams textbook. "Vajayjay" says Facebook.

In short, "vajayjay" has got us thinking outside of the box, which makes the feminists nervous. They want to keep "vagina" all to themselves. That is why they are vajayjay naysayers. (I recognize, of course, that linguists may disagree.)

Years ago (when I was much younger than I am today), I had lunch in a men's club (of course), where I made the acquaintance of an older, distinguished gent. We were randomly seated next to one another. I'd bet two generations separated me from my dining companion.

As the hour progressed and we warmed to one another, I asked him what he did for a living. With a sagelike glint in his eye, he said to me: "Son, I spend my daytime doing what you'll spend your lifetime trying to accomplish."

You probably figured out that he was an OB/GYN. Some things don't get lost in translation.

Comments

[Balzac]

I encountered the word "vajayjay" on a fashion blog.

The blog entry was about camel toe and the writer said "vajayjay"and I started using it after that.

I'm excited by the fact that the word is being so widely used and appreciated.

[pizzmoe]

Why is Oprah using this ridiculous word?

[pizzmoe]

Vajayjay is great if you're 8 years old.
While we're at it, I'd like someone to come up with another word for "Pancreas". That just doesnt work for me

[OneWoman]

"...I refuse to beat around the bush...ref­uses to roll easily off the tongue...I can't quite put my finger on it...think­ing outside of the box..."

Wow. I don't even know where to begin... For starters, your choice of words is rather interesting, to say the least (e.g. "bush" and "box"). Was that intentional? Your repetitive use of the word "refuse" makes me wonder if perhaps you have a problem obtaining access to sex.

"[The term vagina is] uninviting, and seems to have an edge to it. [Vajayjay is] a word that can safely be used...[It­'s] a happy and inviting place, with a warm and fuzzy connotation. Vajayjay says "hello . . . welcome" and "open for business."

Again, my impression is that you feel denied; and perhaps a little threatened (e.g. "uninviting", "edge", "safely", and "open for business").

Frankly, I think the word "vajayjay" is silly and analogous to "wee-wee". It's cute; and that's what bothers me. It's infantilizing and serves to make women seem less threatening to men who lack confidence. Personally, I am not interested in having sex with a man who needs me to be "safe" and non-threatening. I want a man who wants a woman, not a girl.

[reefboy]

"rolls off the tougue". ho ho

[gulopartisan]

"Vajayjay" is about as "liberating" as calling the penis a "peepee." Thanks, but I have more than enough words to use in discussing sex without adding another silly bit of baby talk.

[kirsti]

My opinion is that we should have no mention of pinuses or vajajas in public. These sinfull things on our bodies we should be ashamed of. I wake up in mornings and despite my prayers i still have a vajajajaj.

I feel so ashamed. My husband is 62. He still has a penus, even though we have prayed for years. It's a sinful thing, and it had produced numerous children.

I know, it's late and i accept if you deny my post.

[spinstahbabe]

Again, what's wrong with "pussy"--talk about warm and fuzzy.

I think an even more interesting question is why there are so many slang terms for a man jerking off, but women are stuck with the HORRIBLY clinical "masturbation". PLEASE someone make up a better word for that.

[KatWilder]

I don't know about any of you, but since everyone seems to be allowing companies to buy the rights to name ball parks, bridges, etc. ... I am hereby selling the rights to call my vagina whatever you want:
The Oracle O-hole?
Verizona?
Comcasticlit?

[charlot]

As a gay man, I must say this whole thing leaves me scratching my head and saying, "Whaaa????" It all seems quite silly to me, but maybe that's because I've never been anywhere near a "vajayjay," or whatever other euphemism squeamish Americans feel the need to use, and I never will. Whatever, people.

[genoasail]

If vagina makes you this nervous, I can only imagine what the "clitoris" does to you.

Um, you have heard of the cllitoris, Mike?

Oh, and eight year old niece calls her vagina, 'my personal property.'

[PanFried]

as my Jewish mother would say "what you don't know about women is a lot"

[Stoyver]

I thought I knew what a feminist was but now I'm not so sure. Perhaps it would be helpful to have a label for women who are not feminists.

I have known several women that were militant supporters of women's rights and sexually agressive. I have not experienced an asexual "feminist" in my 50+ years.

So Michael, if you are having difficulty with women, you might try changing your approach.

[acespeed]

I'm a man and I think vajayjay's one of the dumbest pieces of slang ever. Firstly, it came from that atrocity that is Grey's Anatomy with their McDreamy and McSteamy. How can we take a word from that show seriously. Secondly, why would I need to talk about a woman's vagina anyway? If I need to talk about a vagina, I'll say vagina instead because it sounds like I'm over the age of 12 and a reasonable person.

The feminists are right to be in an outrage about this because it trivializes an important part of their anatomy, something that they need considerably less of even now.

[Ais4Atheist]

YAY!!!! VAJAYJAY!!!!! My girlfriend and I use that all the time. It is soooo much better than vagina. But I always like to type it va jay jay, or va-jay-jay. I totally agree it is much warmer and fuzzier term (of course i prefer va jay jays that aren't so fuzzy, but thats besides the point).