I'm a Man of Faith, You're a Crackpot

Posted January 24, 2008 | 06:43 AM (EST)



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The world's gone mad.

A major Hollywood star appears devoid of all common sense when it comes to matters of religion, and the same malady is on display in the life of a leading presidential contender.

First, there's Tom Cruise. According to the just-out unauthorized biography of Cruise by Andrew Morton, one of filmdom's biggest stars is now an enlightened leader of the sect whose members believe that deceased founder L. Ron Hubbard will soon re-emerge. Hubbard died in 1986, but Morton writes that Scientologists have detailed preparations for his return that include maintaining apartments around the world complete with some of his personal property.

Morton reports that the motto of the Church of Scientology is "We Come Back," and claims that Hubbard was expected to return 20 years after his death.

Which is why when Tom Cruise's wife, Katie Holmes, became pregnant, "True believers were convinced that Tom's spawn would be the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard," Morton writes.

Scientology issued a statement calling the book a "bigoted, defamatory assault." But, of course, these are the same people who believe that 75 million years ago an intergalactic warlord injected millions of alien souls into earth's atmosphere, that those aliens, called Thetans, continue attaching to human bodies today, and that these Thetans harbor the "false ideas" of organized religion and are the root of all the world's problems.

At least Tom Cruise is just a celluloid leader, and not, say, the chief executive of the free world.

That role is being sought by a man who adheres to a religion founded in 1830 by a farmboy named Joseph Smith. Smith told his followers that he had been visited by Jesus and charged -- at age 14 -- with restoring the purity of the church. One of his religion's primary texts, the Book of Mormon, was drawn from gold plates buried in the ground. Today, participants wear special undergarments to remind them of the tenets of their faith, and refrain from drinking anything with caffeine in it.

No wonder some Americans are reluctant to support Mitt Romney for president. A Gallup poll conducted in the days after Romney delivered his "Faith in America" speech found that 17 percent of voters said they wouldn't vote for a Mormon presidential candidate. That's the same result Gallup got when asking a similar question about Romney's father, Michigan Gov. George Romney, when he was running for president.

No doubt these people are largely Christians (like me) and Jews.

We're clearly aided by an ability to spot a whopper when we hear one, a skill obviously lacking in Scientologists and Mormons. Maybe it's our grounding in the Old and New Testament that enables us to easily size up the preposterous nature of the customs that guys like Cruise and Romney follow.

I'm thinking we have certain street smarts emanating from our belief in the Good Book that's given us the ability to filter out obviously bogus beliefs.

After all, we know that the earth was created in seven days, and that the son of its creator was born to a virgin mother. Indeed, a star over Bethlehem led three wise men to the scene of Jesus' birth, and, 30 years later, he walked on the water of the Sea of Galilee.

If only the Mormons and Scientologists would take the time to read those stories -- and with them learn about the great flood that Noah survived by building an ark and loading two of each animal onboard, or the drowning of Pharaoh's army after Moses parted the Red Sea -- they'd surely come to their senses over the obviously fictitious lore surrounding L. Ron Hubbard and Joseph Smith.

Heck, say what you will in this time of war with radical Islam, but not even Muslims would fall for the trappings of faith that Cruise and Romney have.

Islam, too, is founded on the sound perspective of the Koran, including the idea of 72 virgins standing ready in heaven to greet those who've achieved martyrdom.

Truly, one man's faith is another man's bunkum.

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- DanDinnell See Profile I'm a Fan of DanDinnell permalink

Not a Washington Insider, Romney has a sophisticated understanding of the challenges we face in both the national and global economies. He is a highly educated and successful leader in business making money by turning around floundering companies such as Staples and helping to produce thousands of jobs, understands the importance of people, organization, research, planning, communication and direction. He was class valedictorian at BYU, MBA and LAW degree from Harvard. While Governor of mostly Democrat Massachusetts, he brought the fractured constituencies together and they became the first state with a universal health care plan that seems to work. He took no salary at all as Governor because as he said, I have enough. He lowered state taxes. Increased funding for education, while he was governor Massachusetts students ranked #l in the nation in education. Increased penalties on drunk driving. Never supported the release of criminals convicted of serious crimes. Never was first to bring up religion. He turned around MA"s economy from deficit to surplus, balancing their budget in less than 4 years. How dare he do his job well and for no pay on top of it!!! When the Salt Lake City Olympics crumbled under corruption/scandal and financial disaster he went to Salt Lake, took over for a one dollar salary, saved the Olympics and made it profitable. He led a massive security mobilization at the Olympics in the wake of the 9/11 attack and, as governor, helped build up Massachusetts' homeland security efforts. He supports a strong military. He is concerned about illegal immigration and what it means to the security of the United States. He wants to retool America and bring the jobs back home. I can certainly understand left wingers hating Romney, after all he's been married to the same woman. He's from a close knit family and values family first. Regarding his flip-flopping on big issues? He may have flipped but not flopped! Everyone, and that means everyone in politics makes mistakes, gets to change their mind once after gaining more knowledge, and most politicians seem to change more than once.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:06 AM on 01/27/2008
- mbaty See Profile I'm a Fan of mbaty permalink

I know that because of my grounding in the Old and New testaments, I can clearly see the fallacies in other religious texts. It is obvious, by the Bible's account, that the world was intelligently created and designed in six days, and God rested on the seventh. And then later, Jesus died for our sins so that we could pray a repentance prayer and gain entrance into heaven. It really couldn't be clearer than that, and these false prophets and devil-tomes are just a clever manipulation by that crazy angel-gone-bad, Lucifer.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:49 PM on 01/24/2008
- paixa3 See Profile I'm a Fan of paixa3 permalink

You may be a Christian (in name at least), but formal church's still read between the lines of Jesus to suit their own desires and very few, if any, follow Jesus. That includes every denomination and I mean EVERY DEMONINATION, CATHOLIC, PROTESTANT, WHATEVER.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:03 PM on 01/24/2008
- drblack See Profile I'm a Fan of drblack permalink

Superstition is superstition, no matter if it is socially acceptable or not.
Theistic religions are all obvious bunk.
Organized theistic religion is all about gaining power and money and feeling part of a special club whose members can belittle non-members.
If a person wants to investigate their spirituality in private then go for it; the rest is destructive bunk.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:28 PM on 01/24/2008
- brizzle See Profile I'm a Fan of brizzle permalink

All religion is bunk. Use your brain; think for yourself. Heaven is THIS moment.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:33 PM on 01/24/2008
- OneFish See Profile I'm a Fan of OneFish permalink

Robert Heinlein was right. "One man's theology is another man's belly laugh."

How about:

Man's theology is a belly laugh and a bad case of cramps to a thinking man.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:57 PM on 01/24/2008
- amamomofsons See Profile I'm a Fan of amamomofsons permalink

I know the stats on the vast number of religious groups and the number of members in each, but I wish I truly knew how many non believers were out there. Anybody out there have any info on that?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:31 PM on 01/24/2008
- PorkyPig See Profile I'm a Fan of PorkyPig permalink

"Man is the religious animal. He is the only religious animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion "- several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat, if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven."

- Mark Twain

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:04 PM on 01/24/2008
- charlot See Profile I'm a Fan of charlot permalink

Oh, what I wouldn't give for these two things to happen in America:

1) The abandonment of the electoral vote in favor of the popular vote for presidential elections,
and
2) An atheist or agnostic candidate.

With these two things, sanity might be restored to our government and, thus, to our nation.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:53 PM on 01/24/2008
- joekonn See Profile I'm a Fan of joekonn permalink

Certainly, God is laughing his/her ass off. Every religion asks the faithful to buy at least one Brooklyn Bridge. And, it is not God but the earthy clergy who are selling. It is part of the structure of religion. One believes, say 72 virgins, or virgin birth, or golden tablets, and so on. The believer buys it, creates a compartment in their mind for that 'stuff', which he/she never again really thinks about. But the added bonus is that once this compartment is made one can stick other 'stuff' in the 'do not open box'. You know, all our other irrational beliefs can be stored there unexamined. "I did not have sex with that woman". Free markets work.
Family secrets, psychological issues, alcoholic yearnings, etc. can also be denied.

The problem is that the box gets full and 'stuff' leaks out. One form is 'nervous breakdowns', another is attacks on other religions as irrational (and won't get you into heaven), bar room fights and, yes, wars, holy and otherwise. I have to admit, though, I have never heard of a war that was not holy to someone.

So, the task of history is either to abandon formal religion or create one that is inclusive.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:14 PM on 01/24/2008
- goldcoastsailor See Profile I'm a Fan of goldcoastsailor permalink

You probably don't believe in the flying spaghetti monster, or the church of the ever receding light either. How about the divine right of presidents? The first Italian-American angel 'Moroni' gave the sacred tablets to Smith after his ponzi scheme failed and he had already had sex with the maid. Some farmboy. People want to be a part of something bigger than themselves, a tribe, a religion, a country, a team, it gives them hope in an indifferent world. Everyone loves a man with strange visions because it's too boring otherwise. Secret gang signs, holy underwear, funny hats, you got to love it.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:13 PM on 01/24/2008
- wondering See Profile I'm a Fan of wondering permalink


This has to be the most hilarious article I have read on Huffpo for some time.

You're dumping on Scientology for believing in (1) resurrection after death and (2) the existence of magical "ghosts" (Thetans) which take over our bodies. Your dumping on Mormonism for (3) claiming divine revelation for its holy books and because its adherents (4) wear special holy items and (5) alter their diet.

Hmmm.... (1) Christians believe JC rose from the dead (not to mention Lazarus, who did it BEFORE Jesus), (2) Most Western religions believe in ghosts that inhabit our bodies... they're called "souls", (3) Western religious tradition teaches that its holy books were divinely inspired, (4) do you wear a cross around your neck? Do you know any Christian who does?, and (5) up until recently, most Roman Catholics did not eat meat on Friday (and Ultra-Orthodox Jews have a whole laundry list of food no-no's).

Seems that you don't like Christians or Jews very much, either. (I think we already know your opinion of Muslims.)

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:12 PM on 01/24/2008
- Mormondude See Profile I'm a Fan of Mormondude permalink

Careful, a lot of people here at HuffPo are a little slow on the uptake, and might not detect the sarcasm.

Robert Heinlein was right. "One man's theology is another man's belly laugh."

The impulse to circle the wagons and protect one's beliefs and lifestyles to the exclusion of all others is nothing new.

But despite the polls where people give a knee-jerk response against voting for 'a Mormon', the reality looks different. With Huckabee's campaign waning, many of his supporters are starting to look elsewhere, and a significant number of them are looking to Romney. Even if they have deeply held prejudices against Mormons, they must think McCain or Giuliani's brands of Republicanism are even more offensive.

And I'd like to point out that this self-preservation impulse isn't unique to the religious right. You see exactly the same thing with the pro-gay marriage people. They want equality. They want understanding. They want equal rights. And they want nothing whatsoever to do with those sickos that want incestuous marriage or polygamy. Instead of joining together to fight for a common cause, they attack each other all the more viciously because they think that by joining together the 'sickos' will make their own cause and lifestyle look bad.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:02 PM on 01/24/2008
- ImaRascal See Profile I'm a Fan of ImaRascal permalink

Ahhhhhh.... grasshopper! The Zen of "one mans bunkum".
But if faith can = political power, who do you want ringing your doorbell and requiring you to conform-or-be-cast-out?
Faith-flashing in 2008 has gotten logically obscene. Maybe its time to tell the over-righteous politicians and celebs to just tuck their faith back in their pants and zip-it.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:45 PM on 01/24/2008
- Jonahson See Profile I'm a Fan of Jonahson permalink

As I said before,"There is a sucker born every second becaue of the speed of obtaining information nowadays". Most people are followers rather than leader. Unfortunately in the past, the few leaders we have who can move the public are either liars or religion cuckoos.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:44 PM on 01/24/2008
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