America's (Lesbian) Sweethearts

I don't wake up every morning thinking about man's inhumanity to man as I brush my teeth. I must admit, despite being the member of an "out" group, (pun definitely intended), I have never really been much of an activist, gay or otherwise. And since moving to Spain, I have gotten even more complacent, given the fact no one really notices here when you hold hands with your boyfriend. This isn't to say that the gay marriage furor in the States has escaped my interest altogether. I am naturally confused as to how the dominantly Catholic country I live in okays it, but the "land of the free" doesn't. I am also suitably alarmed by the resurgence in fundamentalist Christian "values" in the US, one of which seems to be viewing my brand of sexuality as a sin against God. But it all feels so distant, likely by virtue of the ocean that separates me from my homeland. Oddly enough, those incredibly important issues aren't what has piqued my interest again in America's twisted and confused attitudes toward homosexuality. No, I was sucked back in because I am fascinated by two daytime talk television lesbian comedians, and what they signify in the dark and forbidding and super-serious landscape of gay rights in the United States. (If you want to link to elsewhere on Huffington now, you can. I won't ever know, and you will still respect yourself in the morning.) So when Rosie (for maybe becoming the next Bob Barker) and Ellen (for taking home like a million Emmys) both hit the news last week, I was in heaven. In some way I can barely understand, for me these two represent the strange, almost schizophrenic attitude the States have with homosexuality. They have each managed to pull Sapphic phoenix acts, spectacularly bursting in controversy, and then rising from the ratings ashes to an even greater success.

We all remember when Ellen became the first primetime lesbian, or at least the first to admit it -- does anyone out there still think Maude was straight? What we sometimes forget is that the next season, when Ellen started addressing the more serious implications of the main character's sexuality, the shows previous skyhigh ratings nosedived, and it went off the air. Ellen DeGeneres had acted bravely, made television history, and got fired (essentially.) Then she reemerged with a new show, and a lesson learned -- America's mainstream media policy is the same as its military policy. Don't ask, don't tell, at least if you want to be a successful lesbian television personality. Ok, I love Ellen's show, and ideally, I prefer talk TV to be about the guests, not the host, anyway. But the question remains -- is Ellen actually accomplishing more for the gay community now that she is America's Lesbian Sweetheart? Is she succeeding in "normalizing" gayness for middle America? Could be -- no one in the news seemed to blink when she openly kissed Portia at the daytime Emmy awards. And if she is succeeding at making gay less "important" in terms of how we define a person, is that a victory for the movement? Whatever way you feel about that, the last thing anyone would call Ellen DeGeneres these days is controversial, (a fact she actually joked about in her acceptance speech at those same Emmys.) I tend to think if she shaved her head and got a rainbow tattoo, things would change for her in a hurry. And that is to be expected, but is it to be accepted?

Now, Rosie's story is a little different. She actually stayed quiet about her sexuality, and made a lot of her money first, maybe because she saw what happened to Ellen, maybe not. But either way, Rosie ruled the roost of daytime talk -- lots o' Emmys for her, too. Then, in rapid succession, she launched a magazine, came out, ended her show, had a messy lawsuit over her magazine, left the industry altogether, and became the butchest of the butch for a while. Remember that haircut? Remember the pics of her on the San Francisco courthouse steps after getting hitched? All of a sudden the "Queen of Nice" turned into the "Queen of Dykes," and the fallout wasn't pretty. She was totally "over" -- then, just as quickly, she wasn't over AT ALL. Even though HBO was still looping that Rosie Gay Family Cruise special, no one seemed to mind anymore. The American viewing public, or at least the American View viewing public, was falling in love all over again. She was funny, she was interesting, she told that blonde chick where to put it. She even had normal hair again. What wasn't to love? Well... as it turns out, in America's eyes... a lot. Don't worry, I will spare us the retelling of recent events. So, is Rosie O'Donnell simply too much for the States, or will she rise again? And what about her in-your-face approach? Is she doomed to forever rise and fall, rise and fall, rise and fall, until she gives up and concentrates on her charity work? Or will she be telling people to "Come on down!" come this fall? (BTW, fingers crossed) More little questions I can't answer.

But there is one BIG question I can't answer, which I sense as the core of all these little ones. It is the same question that can potentially fractionalize any civil rights or political movement. Burst the bubble, or blend in? Break the wall down, or get on the committee to plan the next building? Being gay is not an obligation to be politically active, or hasn't been in my experience of being gay, as I already mentioned. Neither of these women need to accomplish anything more than their straight counterparts do. They have both become successful by sharing their considerable comedic talents with the world, not their sexual orientation. But I have no question that they both have agendas, and have always had agendas, that tie into that orientation. Otherwise, why not keep broadcasting from the closet? Now, through what means they will address their agendas -- from within, or from without -- is anyone's guess. However, if any more infernos erupt around either of these funny ladies, I would ignore the smoke and fire, and keep an eye on the ashes.