You Are Still My Friend Even After You're Not

05/15/2015 05:26 pm ET | Updated May 15, 2016

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend of mine about friendship and the ups downs we all go through those relationships. Our talk made me stop and think about all the friends I have had in my life and how meaningful they all have been in different ways and for various reasons.

We all have different types of friend's childhood friends, best friends, neighbor friends, Facebook friends, work friends, mom friends; the list goes on and on, and we need all of them. Sometimes these friendships fade with time, a move, a new job or you just grow apart. Other times they end because of a fight that gets ugly and turns into a falling out.

I have had friendships end in all of those ways throughout my life, with some I cannot even pinpoint a moment it was over. Maybe it was so gradual by the time the friendship was gone I did not even miss it anymore. However, we can all vividly remember the horrible ones that ended in anger, mean words, hurt feeling and heartbreak. Just like a breakup or divorce you are so mad and hurt in the immediate aftermath that you can no longer remember what an incredible friend they had been to you. You forget that the good times made up the majority of your relationship choosing to relive the bad instead. The anger you feel, and your sense of pride give you permission to miss so many significant moments in each other's lives, birthdays, weddings, divorces, and babies being born. You might find yourself thinking about her or missing her during those crucial moments in life, but you regrettably choose to do nothing.

I understand now that our friends cannot always be the friend we need every time we need them. We are all human and go through periods in our life when we need a friend, but we are not capable of being a very good one in return. I went years without talking to two of my best friends each for different reasons. We were in different places in life going through equally difficult times and could not support each other or be the friends we once were. We will never get back all the big moments we missed in each other's lives during that time we can only look forward to the future moments we will share.

The experiences I have had with my friendships that have ended made me realize that my (ex) friend was still an incredible friend even after they are not in my life anymore. Those friendships are never really over they still exist and live in my heart and mind even the ones that have ended horribly. There was a time when that friendship supported me, made me laugh, made me cry, held my hand and was by my side when I needed it. I have learned to cut myself and my friends a little slack, try to be more forgiving and more understanding. I am thankful for the friends in my life today and grateful for friendships from my past, they both helped me to grow into who I am today.

We all are guilty of letting time, pride and stubbornness get in the way of mending relationships with people we love. Just reach out, It is never too late to tell someone you love them and thank them for being your friend.