I will admit it, I am a Marriage Proposal Planner and I am proud of it. I help people come up with customized proposal ideas and then I execute the idea for them to make sure it goes perfectly. I watch from a distance as women cry tears of joys and men stand proud knowing that they brought on that joy by creating a sentimental proposal. After the proposal I normally talk to the woman and even get invited to the weddings. And yet some people hate what I do.
You may wonder, why would someone hate on you for doing a job that brings people together? I am not hurting anyone; I'm only trying to provide a service that people are clearly looking for. Last month, an article came out about Marriage Proposal Planning in The New York Times which of course caused all kinds of spin-off talk. While I have plenty of clients every day that love my services, I just couldn't get over all of the hate people seem to have for what I do. While I realize it isn't for everyone, I believe some people just don't understand it. Here are some of the misconceptions I have read in comment sections on all the blogs around the world -- and my attempt to clear them up. These are actual comments from users.
· "If a man can't come up with a proposal idea on his own, he is a loser."
This one I just don't understand and I think stems from an ignorance of the process of Proposal Planning. The client doesn't just give us cash and say "Come up with a great proposal idea". We interview the client and ask him a ton of questions about his girlfriend, how they met, and other special details about their relationship. The client spends a lot of time during this interview process answering questions most men probably couldn't even remember. Next, we use the interview responses to put together a proposal and tell a story about the couple in a creative way. Last, we set up the proposal. If the concept involves stumbling upon a romantic setup, we sneak down to the beach and set it up while he is at dinner. The client is very involved in the entire process.
Similarly, it boggles me that people have problems with guys asking for advice. When a guy does try to come up with an idea on his own he will most certainly ask someone for advice regarding the proposal. He may ask his friends or his girlfriend's friends and unfortunately, he may turn to the Internet to get some cheesy suggestions. Why would someone have a problem with him asking a professional?
· "I don't want an expensive over-the-top proposal. Just something intimate and special."
Some females hear about our services and I think they have the misconception that we only plan Flash Mobs or elaborate proposals. That isn't true at all. We plan proposals in homes, beautiful private rooftops, private hotels, beach proposals, etc. We plan all types of proposals.
Men that want to propose in a city they don't live in give us a ton of business. They might be flying in from London and they want a private, intimate proposal set up in New York City so they hire us to set it up.
· "I would rather be proposed to on a toilet then have my boyfriend use a Proposal Planner."
Really? Well to each their own. However, I doubt that most women would rather be proposed to on a toilet than to find out their men went out of their way to enlist professionals to give them a lovely proposal.
· "What's next? Divorce Planners?"
Those already exist. They are called lawyers.
· "This is a service for rich people."
That is not true. Most of our clients are middle-class professionals that just want to invest a little money in making their girlfriends proposal special.
While hiring a Marriage Proposal Planner isn't for everyone, and I am certainly not suggesting everyone in the world needs to hire one, it is an honest career that does help a lot of men and women feel very good about a special day.
Michele is a Romance Expert, who specializes in Romantic Date and Proposal Planning. She owns The Heart Bandits and has been featured in the New York Times, Fox News, Houston Chronicle, Orange County Register, and KTLA news. Contact The Heart Bandits to have them plan your romantic date or marriage proposal. For more information about The Heart Bandits, visit http://www.theheartbandits.com
Marriage is a lifetime partnership and both parties need to discuss it together, deciding when is the right time to move forward. The idea that women wait around breathlessly until their guy is "ready" to ask them to marry is hideous and humiliating. It's no wonder to me that sexism is alive and well, when we make public spectacles of these events. Way to tell young girls that their future marriages will be decided upon by their mate, and not them.
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Doing it for money is too impersonal. It's like saying "Not tonight dear, I have a headache. Here's some petty cash. Go hire someone."
Exactly. The proposal requires a man to think deeply about his partner. It demonstrates how he sees their relationship and what he (thinks) he knows about her. What kind of man wants it known that he couldn't come up with a plan of his own regarding the most important decision he will make in connection with the most important person in his life?
What else does the pathetic shmoe need "help" with?
The outrageous divorce rage is partially your fault.
You help power the narcissism machine that has turned marriage from a life-long bond between two people who want to build a life and a home together into a big, tacky, expensive performance in some weird one-up-the-sister competition to see who gets more hits on their YouTube video of the embarrassing display.
I cringe when I see those "most epic wedding video ever" links people send me. They're always humiliating shows of people being forced to lip sync to songs, dance, juggle or people desperate to get on The Today Show.
We now call a wedding "her special day" and suggest that it's the most important day of her life. Which means it has to be some crazy Vegas show and the day that's all over, it's down hill from there.
A marriage should START the day after the wedding.
People don't get married for love anymore, they get married for bragging rights and a lot of gifts and attention. You make it worse.
HuffPo keeps posting these articles written by industry people. These articles are just plugs for their service.