11/12/2011 01:16 pm ET Updated Jan 12, 2012

The Implosion of the Republican Party 2012

Newt has the Tiffany lifestyle problem, Romney the liberal issue and Herman the blonde bombshell syndrome. If only the genie had stayed in the bottle, there certainly would have been a Romney/Cain business ticket for the Republican nomination for President in 2012. It would have been glorious with two rough and tumble businessmen straight from the netherworlds of big business ready to set this country back on track. Jobs, Jobs, Jobs! After all, this duo would know how to do it. And more importantly, they would not be hampered by political hullabaloo, except for Romney's slip as Governor of Massachusetts. But that could be overlooked since he hadn't served in Congress. Yeah we all know that Mitt is a might bit too Democratic for the Republican Party elders. But with 'American Dream' Herman Cain by his side, it could become much more palatable. Mr. Cain is a true believer, a man who had risen from a fatal diagnosis. In fact, he claims to be a deeply religious Christian that does not believe in abortion under any terms; whether the life of the mother was at risk, or the woman was a victim of rape or incest. Cain certainly could be the man to toughen up Romney on social programs, and help gloss over that "Mormon" thing.

But that damn genie would not stay hidden in that bottle. She and her gal pals just keep sticking their heads up. And if that was not bad enough, that rabble-rouser liberal attorney Gloria Allred got wind of the scandal and went on the news shows. Well, it could be bye-bye White House for Mr. Cain on the top or the bottom of the ticket. Too bad this all didn't bubble up in the time of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas' scandal -- Cain might have gotten away with it. But dictators can't hide in the age of instantaneous news, and neither can Mr. Herman Cain. Allegations of sexual harassment are a big no-no.

What is the Republican Party to do with the cast of characters running for president? They don't have a lot of realistic choices to take down the sitting President, except for former Governor Romney, former Speaker Newt Gingrich, former Governor Rick Perry or Herman Cain. So maybe the bumbling of Rick Perry on national television will serve him well. He's just a regular guy that had stage fright and lost his train of thought right? Maybe the pundits are just dead wrong and his campaign still has legs. Smarts are not a prerequisite to run the country. And maybe the American people will fall for a shadow president again like they did with former President George W. Bush. Remember, Newt has the Tiffany lifestyle problem, Romney the liberal issue and Herman the blonde bombshell syndrome. Oh yes, there is always former Governor Jon Huntsman. But it seems that the Party will never forgive for being too smart which is code for liberal thinking; sashaying with the government of China; and aiding and abetting the Obama Administration as the Ambassador to China. So are we back to a Rick Perry/Michele Bachmann ticket? Or are we going to quash Gloria Allred and wing it with a Mitt Romney/Herman Cain ticket? Or is Newt Gingrich the man that is in the right place at the right time as many pundits would like us to believe? Or can that damn genie or genies go back in that bottle until at least after November?

Sadly, each Republican ticket choice is beset with values and prejudices that we'd rather not admit to in this country ranging from sexism to anti-intellectualism to religious prejudice to racism to class warfare to misogamy.