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Michelle Lamar

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Kanye West, Joe Wilson Need a Day with My Mother-in-Law

Posted: 09/14/09 10:30 AM ET

Kayne West trashes Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at theVMAs, then goes home and apologizes on his blog! Joe Wilson's "You Lie" outburst at the President Obama was the shout heard round the world.

Manners. Do either of these mean know what it means to have manners? Before you tell me I am behind the times and no one cares about manners anymore, hear me out.

Good manners are not about how you hold your cup of tea or where you place your silverware. At the root of it, manners are having respect for other people. The "Golden Rule" idea that you should treat others how you wish to be treated. We teach small children this rule but it makes it hard when public figures like Kayne West, Joe Wilson can't control themselves.

Wilson and West need a day or two with my mother-in-law, because she is one of the classiest ladies I've ever met. Patricia is an Irish-Catholic mother who raised her family "old school." Despite not having much money, she made sure her children knew it was important to respect others and have good manners. My mother-in-law is one of my favorite human beings on the planet because she's graceful, funny, witty but she will not tolerate bad manners.

I guarantee Kayne and Joe would have a whole new outlook on life if they spent just one day with Patricia. If they could last one day.

Class has nothing to do with money and everything to do with respect. If you have a class, you don't think it's always about YOU, you realize that life is about ALL of us.

Come to think of it, maybe President Obama should fly in my MIL to deal with the health care crisis! I'd pay a million bucks to be in a room as Patricia, the Irish Catholic matron, quietly questions some of our nation's leaders about why it's okay to have so many children uninsured! Or the President could let her spend a day with the giant mortgage lenders who took the bailout money but aren't passing it along to the people they were supposed to help. Trust me, you'd want to a ticket to see that show.

The "Me First" mentality has poisoned our culture. The rude behavior of Wilson, West are just a symptom of the problem. What's it going to take to bring manners back into the daily lives of Americans? My mother-in-law can't visit every American door-to-door, so what's another option?

 
 
 

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12:02 PM on 09/19/2009
Another option, you ask? How about allowing our schoolchildren to watch and listen to our President~ someone with exquisite manners who puts The Golden Rule into all his actions~someone we would ALL do well to emulate instead of trying to silence him and boycott him.
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Joe The Nerd Ferraro
Group IQ is inversely proportional to group size.
10:27 AM on 09/19/2009
Excellent post - Coming from half-Irish stock, you are on target...
01:09 AM on 09/16/2009
Michelle, I don't know you from Adam's housecat, but "I love you" anyway! Thanks for your excellent post.... cuz we ALL need your MIL to keep us on our toes!
01:13 PM on 09/15/2009
I work as cashier at a Wal-mart and interact with many different types of people. Kids dressed Goth with tatoos and nose rings very often have lovely manners, whereas I have been treated quite rudely by adults in expensive clothing, and jewelry.
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Michelle Lamar
marketer, writer, geek, mom.
01:16 AM on 09/16/2009
Class is how you treat people not about what you wear or how you look. I know what you mean kellysmalltowngirl, I've had the same experiences.
08:06 PM on 09/14/2009
What you said, sister! The sad thing is this -- people have come to expect that others WON'T have manners. My proof? That has been important to us as parents of now nine-year-old PunditGirl from day one. She may not always do it at home, but when she's with others, she KNOWS about saying please and thank you. She knows about reciprocating others' interest by replying with, "I'm fine thank you. How are you?"

The truly sad thing is this -- most adults are shocked at her good manners. She is a great kid on many levels, but I am especially proud that she has lovely manners. If my nine-year-old can manage it, why can't rock stars and politicians?
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MNKen
Eschew Obfuscation
09:05 PM on 09/14/2009
Because your daughter has learned about positive reinforcement from good people (her parents). All these other knuckleheads that we see and read about just go for the negative reinforcement, thinking any attention is good attention. I see my kids struggling with this in their own families (my grandchildren) and know it is difficult to instill in children. Keep up the good work and give your daughter an extra hug because of her good example !!

Thank you !!!
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Michelle Lamar
marketer, writer, geek, mom.
01:20 AM on 09/16/2009
I'll keep up the good work and you keep it up too! We're all in this together, you know? It's hard to tell kids that acting respectful to others is important when so much they see is the opposite. But we all just need to keep at it, because it's worth it.
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MJinCanada
Safe from zombies until my 2nd cup of coffee
02:43 AM on 09/15/2009
Good for you!

My boys got babysat by an English grandmother. Now there's a reinforcement of good manners!

My 16-year-old dresses Goth/metal most days and gets an impish delight from the looks he gets when he opens doors for women and helps older people carry their groceries -- or scolds other guys for trash-talking girls.
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Michelle Lamar
marketer, writer, geek, mom.
01:17 AM on 09/16/2009
Good for you and good for your teen! I'd love to see the look on those faces when he opens a door or scolds another guy! Rock on to him for being confident in his own skin---that is a tribute you!