A Justice sits on the High Court
For years he chose not to report
Monies paid to his wife
Now the root of much strife
Seems with ethics he failed to comport

Have you guessed of which Jurist I write?
Strict construction, his unending fight

There once was a Georgian peach, Newt
(Listen up y'all, this one's a real beaut)
Bedecked his bride with gems
(Now he haws and he hems)
When pressed on it, he should have stayed mute

Seems Callista (that's Wife Number Three)
Also known to some...

There once was a royal named Will
Whose grandma was over the hill
They made him an Earl
And he got his girl
Of his nuptials we've all had our fill

For the couple a new prayer was writ
On this duo all eyes...

There was once was a fellow named Newt
Who gave his first two wives the boot
He spoke for the House
While he lied to his spouse
Seems he just couldn't keep on his suit

Claimed "this country" has caused him to stray
(Though his...

There once was a rep named Chris Lee
Whose bod none of us cared to see
He showcased his pecs
(More cut than Glenn Beck's)
Guess he won't run for term number three

I'm "fit fun and classy," he scribed
'Bout his age and profession...

There once was a man named DeLay
Seems now it is his time to pay
He played dirty ball
(Please listen up y'all)
And now he is going away

The judge sentenced him to three years
(What he did was real wrong, it appears)
...

California Lawyer this week did report
On Justice Scalia of the Supreme Court
His shocking views on equal protection
Make one wish his was a tenure subject to election

Women not protected against discrimination?!
Even for Nino, an abomination
Originalism!! he is wont to invoke

There once was a girl named Christine
She babbled quite like a pre-teen
Nabbed the right's nomination
Abhorred masturbation
Of teabaggers she wished to be queen

She told us she once was a witch
But really she's just a dumb bitch
Showed up to...

In the City of Angels, we've heard it said
(Words which still ring in Marcia Clark's head):
"If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!"
But in Chi-town this week, how'd the defense do it?

There was no smoking gun at the 11th hour
Did...

It's the curious case of Tipper and the former Veep
Of conduct untoward we haven't heard a peep
While there's no sign of a jaunt down the Appalachian trail
Don't think we can rule out behavior beyond the pale

That it's the Gores and not the Clintons...

Certain folk in Kentucky forsook their joe last week
Something a spot more bitter was what they did seek
Their guy beat Mitch McConnell's pick in the primary
Looks like they've found, at long last, the perfect blend of tea

Like the elder Mr. Paul, Rand's a...

Seems summer in the District will be heated
A new scotus justice needs to be seated
Replacing this nominee of Gerald Ford
Will precipitate right wing behavior untoward

Reminiscent of last year's pathetic display
When Sotomayor was the GOP's prey
Exposing their colors true

Have we reached the saturation point for the current media tour
Of the trusted secret keeper for Edwards and his paramour
We've listened 'round the clock to this cautionary tale
Missing simpler days of "I didn't inhale"

Promoting his real baby, whom he's named The Politician
...

Big business couldn't be more delighted
By the Supreme Court's decision in Citizens United
New ammo for the arsenals of Wall Street and big oil
An opinion that would make our Founding Fathers recoil

The magnitude of this ruling is hard to overstate
Stemming from an...

The Liberal Lion is rolling over in his grave
His seat even the President could not help save
A state senator for only five years
Has brought the Democratic establishment to tears

Seems the state's attorney general just couldn't compete
Against the man who now occupies...

Forbes' first billionaire athlete is joining the ranks
The tabloids have something for which to give thanks
He'll need more than a sand wedge to escape from this trap
Seems we've discovered his true handicap

At first blush, this appeared to be rather benign
He was...

A sandbox brawl between Keith and Bill
Has left their parents feeling ill
They want their boys to get along
Yet the ultimate result is quite wrong

There has been some mutual bashing
It's gone beyond ideological clashing
The "vicious smear merchant" vs. "Bill-O the...

Remember back when Hillary
Talked of a right-wing conspiracy
But then it turned out not to be true
Just Bill doin' what he was wont to do

This time round its actually quite sick
Something worthy of an Ollie Stone flick
Even though debunked...

Hart Senate Office Building, Room 216
Was the venue for a skirmish that at times got awfully mean
Judge Sonia came in earnest, her cards laid out on the table
Could the GOP contain themselves? Didn't seem that they were able

What would they dig up; just...

Miss Alaska has resigned
24/7 the pundits have opined
Rick Sanchez thought she might be with child again
What's he smoking at CNN?

She cut and run the day before 4th of July
Leaving so many to wonder why
Perhaps she's taking...