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Michelle Schweiger Schecter Headshot

Are You There Christine? Its Me (Not You), Michelle

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There once was a girl named Christine
She babbled quite like a pre-teen
Nabbed the right's nomination
Abhorred masturbation
Of teabaggers she wished to be queen

She told us she once was a witch
But really she's just a dumb bitch
Showed up to debate
What d'ya mean church and state?
Oops! Seems there might be a hitch!

Has no knowledge of the constitution
Nor does she accept evolution
Won't sit with Bill Maher
With her he'd like to spar
Though her intellect is lilliputian

Can't name one ruling of the High Court
(This nonsense I'd like to abort)
She's said: "I Am You"
With her we're almost through
To have brains she cannot purport

Used campaign funds to cover her rent
Yet still thinks that she's heaven-sent
She spent 20K
And should be put away
In the big house she'd surely repent

Miss Alaska endorsed her this fall
(SP never fails to appall)
Helped her beat Mike Castle
Probably not worth the hassle
You betcha she won't make Roll Call

"God called me to this!" she has said
Do you think this has gone to her head?
Pray for my campaign!!
(This is beyond inane)
Let's hope Coons gets a 19-point spread!