Editor's Note: Michelle Weber of Thursday Night Smackdown is liveblogging the Top Chef All-Stars finale with HuffPost Food tonight. To participate, leave your comments below.
Commercials. Is there a way that we, as a nation, can force Robert DeNiro to retire from appearing in films?
Why should you be Top Chef? Blather blather showing who I am blather greatest moment of my career blather blather.
THERE'S NO CRYING IN TOP CHEF.
Winning Top Chef would be the best thing that ever happened to Richard. So, you know, sorry about that, Richard's kids.
Pointless interlude of sous talking about how much they respect their chefs. Expect for Spike, who apparently had nothing nice enough to say.
Live Padma is a PROBLEM.
Commercials. Where is Bourdain in this finale? Wasn't he supposed to be an official judge this season?
Mike's third is a pork shoulder with pepperoni sauce, which everyone loves although it sounds vile. He's sucking up to Tom.
Mike's fourth course is...really just flan. Art Smith: "I don't like the way it feels in my mouth." That's what she said!
Richard does the foie gras ice cream.
I know I should be happy that Art Smith has lost weight, but I kinda miss huggable Art Smith.
Mike's second course: steamed halibut with kumquat.
Richard's first course is hamachi and sweetbreads. He sends Spike out to be his spy, because you never see him coming wearing that hat.
Mike's judges are Art Smith and Custis Stone. What's with the judge differential?
Mike's first course is...beets.
I don't know if you knew, but Blais choked in his season. Just in case you were unawares.
Tom reminds us for the second time that "Chef" means "Boss." I think it also means "person who can cook."
Richard's kitchen is awash with nitrogen mist. Shocker. Antonia is on the beets, Spike's on the Captain Crunch.
Until he's not, because Blais is switching to foie gras ice cream.
Everyone is better and more mature than they were on their seasons, so they say. Show it, don't say it.
Commercials. I don't believe that the "Little Fockers" gag reel is actually "hilarious," not for a minute.
Mike's restaurant is called Izz, because he has no creativity; Richard's is Tongue in Cheek.
Blais ends up with Spike, Angelo and Antonia. Isabella gets Tiffani, Jamie (yes!) and Carla.
Mike refers to his team as "my angels." RETCH.
Blind tasting of the amuses determine who gets who. If Jesus loves me, Mike will get Marcel.
Come on, Jesus.
A preview of tonight's action, from Bravo:
After an emotional elimination down in the Bahamas, only TWO All-Stars are left standing with the taste of victory and their chance at redemption in sight. And when Tom and Padma deliver the ultimate Elimination Challenge: create the restaurant menu of their dreams, the chefs are full speed ahead to claim the title. But before Richard Blais and Mike Isabella get to judges' table, they are faced with some of their past competitors as all All-Stars return for the chance to be a sous chef. Who will assist in the Finale? And which of these two All-Stars will finally hear the words, "You are Top Chef"? Find out this Wednesday 3/30 @ 10/9c BRAVO's Top Chef All-Stars *FINALE*
Down to Two: The remaining two chefs have no time to digest what just happened as their final challenge is immediately announced.
Picking Sous Chefs Blindfolded: The final two chefs choose their sous chefs blindfolded.
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