THE BLOG

Taking One For the Team

05/13/2015 02:09 pm ET | Updated May 13, 2016

Do you sometimes take one for the team?

You know, those times when you have sex with your partner when you don't really want to? You're tired or you just did your hair or you ate too much for dinner and feel like you're going to burst.

I do it. Because in my marriage, our sexual appetites don't always match up. My husband never says no to me but I sometimes say no to him. He always takes it like a gentleman and goes about his business. Any guilt that I have is my own. But it's more than guilt. It's belated regret that I gave up a chance for a few minutes of intimacy with him for a few minutes more of sleep. Or to spend a little longer reading that library book.

So I'm trying to say yes more often.

Partly because I love him, he works really hard and having sex with him is one of the ways that I can show him how much I appreciate him and all that he does. But I also do it because I know that once we start getting it on, I'm going to be, well, excited about it.

I also find that having sex creates additional "goodwill" between the two of us. The endorphins and the physical closeness bond us together even more as we go about our post-coitus activities. And who doesn't need more of that in their relationship.

So, yes, I take one for the team from time to time because that's what we are. A team. And a pretty good one, working together to raise our blended family, live a quality life and have as much fun as we can possibly have.

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