I was fired at the pinnacle of my career, on my 39th birthday. And in the year that followed, I learned that there are many psychological phases of being "let go."
By 38, I had a shiny new contract as the anchor of the Sunday evening broadcast; a correspondent spot on 60 Minutes Wednesday; and the possibility of co-hosting the CBS Evening News. It was great fun, and a huge steroid injection to the ego. My two girls were especially proud.
After all those years of hard work and dedication, it all ended in a flash. With Dan Rather's departure came the elimination of managers above him -- the very same managers who hired me.
It wasn't long afterward that I was negotiating my very public and very painful exit from CBS. To my kids I acted like I was giving them a gift. Somehow, I felt it was my duty to protect them from the pain I was feeling. I sugarcoated the whole thing. Big mistake.
I fed them a speech explaining how great this would be for all of us and quickly moved on, thinking I had done the right thing as a protective mother. The next day, the school called: Eight-year-old Carlie was upset, and the teacher asked if I could come in. Could I come in? Of course, this was the new me!
I found Carlie outside of her classroom in the fetal position; her teacher crouched over with her hand on Carlie's shoulder. My child was clearly upset; the teacher looked uncomfortable and said in a low voice, "Carlie tells me you're leaving your job, and she's very upset." I turned to Carlie and said, "That's a good thing, right? It's a good thing because we'll get time together. No more rushing. No more missing your events. No more job!" She pulled her head up, and, with two big blue eyes pooling with tears, said, "But Mommy, you love it so much! I don't want you to have to leave your job"
That moment was the first time I truly cried about what had happened to me, to us. I realized it would be OK to mourn together, to be angry together, to be discouraged together, and to be honest with each other. From that moment on, I sugarcoated nothing. They needed to be part of the process, whether I was up or down. It was a humbling yet enriching experience for all of us.
A fundamental lesson on being fired: Never lie about it. People will know what you're saying is a cover-up for how you really feel -- embarrassed, discouraged, and afraid. It's best to simply be true to those feelings and work form them. Kids are a great place to start with that. They too, will face challenges in life, and job loss is an opportunity to show them what you are made of.
For more check out Mika's website www.morningmika.com
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Jill Brooke: News Flash to Mika Brzezinski: Not All Women Get Your Breaks And Can Have It All
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You are right, and, as bad as it is for you...It can be worse for your family: Spouse, Partner, or Children. Maybe I can help.
Every day I hear from hundreds of people top men and woman in their field, who have, in their words "not had a bite...a nibble" they tell me, to their resume, or if they are lucky enough to get an interview, they tell me they get ”zero response", to that interview, or their resume. I am the author of “Bulletproof Your Job (HarperCollins)
The one year anniversary of being unemployed is the one anniversary most people, do not want to celebrate.
Here are some of my secrets found in my book:
Step 1: Work to change that attitude.
Step 2: Stop blaming the “résumé ". Blame yourself. Consider your resume, no matter who did it, only a "template"; change it yourself each time it goes out. Tweaking that resume yourself for each job.
Step 3: Look in the mirror: Do you "look” like you are worth the income you require. Shallow but true. Do you need some Crest white strips, smile? What do those teeth look like? Men--inappropriate facial hair, that you could get away with, when you were making six figure, but can't now? Hair color? Clothes? Handshake?
Copyright 2009
Stephen Viscusi
Twitter Stephen@workplaceguru
Facebook Stephen "Stephen Viscusi"
Viscusi is the host of the upcoming TV show "The Headhunter From Hell”.
www.bulletproofyourresume.com,
Stephen@viscusi.com.
Oh, and FYI, if you're "negotiating" the terms of your exit, that's not a firing. "You have 10 minutes to clean out your desk." That's a firing.
I learned that my paternal grandfather wasn't living. I asked how and why. My father only said 'train wreck'. Literally, only two words. I assumed there was a wreck and he was one of the victims.
Fifty years later, I got interested in genealogy and family history. I have no pictures of my grandfather. I went to his home town library and found the newspaper death notice. It turns out that he was a telegraph lineman and got trapped at a place on the tracks where he couldn't escape. He was run over by a freight train. It was downright grizzly. He lived long enough to give a message to his children. That little tidbit told me everything about his life and his character.
His WW I draft registration disclosed that he was tall and thin with a light complexion, blond hair and bule eyes. I have no pictures, so that's all I know.
Tell your kids everything. Their innocence and love will help you more than you know.
For as much as I like you - and I do, Morning Joe is a "fav",
your co-hosts have you pegged when they elude to your opinions emanating "from the Hamptons".
Few of us wants our families to take on our burdens,
but when I think about family struggles (Hmmm. How do i say this easily?
Well, watch a few episodes of Ty Pennington and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition)!
With incumbent family values being increasingly supplanted in our homes
by a culture more closely aligned with that of Corporations (with a dollop of greed as an enhanced ingredient) will we ever evolve toward being forthright and honest, while having compassion and concern...not only for our own families, but for others'?
I have been fired, my husband has been fired, we mourn, and we get moving.
for all you atheists without a soul it develops your level of compassion. or not.
There is a fine line between using children as emotional crutches and being honest with them. Not every parent can walk that line without crossing over it.
So to Mika, keep pushing on and don't let failure get you down.
Ann (Jade)
I posted a comment before but that link wasn't working, so this one should.. :-)
Those were memorable days...