Lessons for Obama

This is how we do it, said the Political Masters to the Eager Student. Watch and learn.

Stub Up, Young Candidate. Look at how stubborn we are. You cannot get rid of us. No one can. As moss is to the rock, so are we to the body politic. You, Candidate, lacking our brute stubbornness, are to the body politic as a leaf is to the wind. You float blithely where it carries you until you have lost sight of the tree. You have miles to go, rivers to cross, and mountains of shit to climb before you can know true stubbornness.

Triangulate. The world works in threes. Three is the universal organizing number. Always present an issue or attack your opponent from three angles. Why do you think we chose to have one daughter? Because research shows that two parents and one child is the most media-friendly format for a family, that is why. Shoot threes, our baller friend, shoot threes.

Come Back. The people love comeback stories. This is unquestioned. What you must question is this: From what will you be coming back? If you would like help in this area, we can offer suggestions.

Let Them See You Weep. Cocky can carry you only so far, Candidate. At some point, you're going to have to express a vulnerable side, even if you have to fake it.

Honor Thy Jerry Springer. Appease the tabloid gods with frequent offerings such as nutty relatives, secret cosmetic surgeries, and references to extra-terrestrial life, and they will become your friends. A spoonful of Scarlett Johannsen helps the party medicine go down.

Cast Colorfully. Please ponder, for a moment, our own supporting cast. It includes a 45-year-old Greek Orthodox altar boy, a Louisiana swamp rat married to a calico cat, a sexually ambiguous Latina goddess, a horny hotel lounge singer, and the ambitious intern who falls under the spell of a Washington witch, just to name a few. Your cast is weak, Candidate. It is full of professor-types and barbershop philosophers. You are not casting a Cialis commercial, here. The people will demand more. Maybe not now, but soon, and for the rest of your life.

Wondering Is Better Than Knowing. When the people figure they know what you're up to, you have lost them. If you keep them wondering what comes next, they will tune in for more. Strive not for permanence, but for evolution. Let the only certainty be the constant unfolding of your path.

Set Backfires. Pappy McCain and the Scorched Earth Gang would like nothing better than to raze the communities and coalitions you and your team have built. It would be wise of you to begin lighting fires they are forced to put out, before they torch everything you claim to hold dear, including your campaign.

Spectacle is Not the Same as Story. You seem impressed with yourself because 75,000 people will sit in a stadium to hear you speak. Remind yourself that this speech was scheduled on a night when Dancing with the Stars was not on television. Remind yourself that each of those 75,000 will expect an invitation to dinner sometime in the next four years. Remind yourself that a big spectacle raises folks' hopes to unreasonable levels, and that a well-told story can make a small complication more manageable. Pappy's POW story helps the people face their own milder forms of imprisonment. Your big speeches make the people want to bust out of the big house by digging an underground tunnel then floating 20 miles downriver while breathing through a reed. Tell us, Candidate, which scenario is within the people's reach?

People Let You Down. This will come as a disappointment to you, as it has been to us. The people whose votes you seek are paralyzed by fear, of limited intellect, with no imagination or creativity, and lacking the sense of purpose and direction that comes with personal courage and conviction. It gets a little better outside of Washington, but not much.

Mike Bonifer is the author of GameChangers - Improvisation for Business in the Networked World and the co-founder and CEO of the business learning company, GameChangers. www.gamechangers.com.

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