Letter to the Undecideds

Dear Undecideds,

A lot of you are hurting. Some of you are people I know and love. Just like you do, I fret about this mess we're in, what with the banks failing, and people losing their homes, their savings, their jobs, their pensions. We've got the terrorist threat that our leaders tell us is still aimed point-blank at the U.S.A., and I believe them.

I worry about all of you who don't have health insurance, especially if you're overweight and smoke and drink too much, and not just because I care about you, I do, but because let's face it, even if I don't know you personally, I am going to be helping foot your hospital bill somehow if you get sick or hurt.

I don't like seeing the people who got us into this mess skate away with big fat severance packages while the rest of us are left to clean up after them. Where I come from, if you make a mess, you clean it up. No questions asked. I don't see that happening, and it pisses me off.

But you know what? None of this -- or the failing public education system, or immigration reform, or Iraq, or any one of a hundred other election issues -- is the reason I have a knot in my stomach these days that's the size of Tito Ortiz's fist. What keeps me up at night is worrying about what kind of world we are leaving our children. You see, this isn't about you and me. It is about our sons and daughters. Their future is our responsibility. We have made a mess of that future, and it is our responsibility to clean it up, and give our children the same kinds of opportunities we have had in our lives, the kinds of opportunities America is known for and was built on. If we do not give our children their dreams, and the means to achieve those dreams, we do not deserve to call ourselves Americans.

I'm writing you this letter because I think this election in November, an election your votes are going to decide, can be a good first step in fixing what is wrong with America. It is not the fix. Politicians make promises to get elected. We all know that whoever gets elected will not deliver on everything they promise. It was true of our high school class officers and it's true of McCain and Obama. The question you have to ask yourselves, and then answer when you get inside that voting booth in November, is which candidate is a step in the right direction?

This is a guide, written in languages you speak, that will help you decide:

In Gun Ownerese:

Electing John McCain would be like voting for the guy who has a reputation for being a straight shooter, but has lost his nerve and is all jittery and unsure of himself, and shoots at everything that moves. He is the kind of hunter who, sooner or later, is going to shoot another hunter. Maybe you. He will claim he thought you were a deer, even though you're wearing your orange hat and vest. He is the kind of hunter who car-shoots, night-shoots, helicopter-shoots, and hunts out of season, because he has friends with big enough ranches where he can get away with it. He is the guy who suggests hunting quail with AK-47s, and it spooks you, because he's not joking.

Electing Barack Obama will be like hunting with a guy who sees the deer first, but offers you the shot.

In Anti-Abortionish:

Having John McCain as President of the U.S. will be like belonging to a church with an old priest who is out of touch with the youth of the parish. Sometimes, without realizing it, he lapses into Latin while celebrating the Mass. Church attendance falls off. Sunday collections dwindle. Father McCain tries to compensate by recruiting a hot young nun to work at the parish. Her youth and energy only remind the parishioners of how feeble he is. He hears confessions where people whisper that the hot young nun has been talking to the Archbishop about forcing him to retire.

Having Barack Obama as President would be like having a parish priest whose Masses are so energetic and uplifting and filled with hope that not only do the young people of the parish love him, people from other parishes start showing up at your church for Sunday Mass. He invites problem kids to shoot hoops while they talk about the situation at home. Collections are up. Families begin moving into the parish just because of Father Barack. Rumors circulate that he's going to get re-assigned by the Archbishop to an inner city parish. People who haven't been to confession in years start going going again, just so they can ask him not to leave.

In NASCARite:

If we elect John McCain President of the United States of America, we'd be like Joe Gibbs Racing hiring Richard Petty to take Tony Stewart's ride in #20. It's 40 years past our hero's prime. He will be lucky if he turns ten laps without crashing or getting run off the track.

If we elect Barack Obama President of the United States of America, we'll be like Joe Gibbs Racing hiring Joey Logano to take Tony Stewart's ride in #20. Kid's a natural. A cool customer. Born to race. His future is in front of him. And so is NASCAR's.

In Footballian:

John McCain as President would be like having Roger Staubach back at quarterback for the Cowboys, and one of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders at fullback. It would be fun for exactly one play. After that, an embarrassment.

Barack Obama as President will be like handing the reins to an inexperienced Tony Romo. He's going to make some mistakes, but he's got the talent to take his team to the Super Bowl someday. He has a veteran center to anchor his line. Sure he's cocky, but you want that in your quarterback.

In Smalltowner:

Voting for John McCain is like voting for the guy running for mayor who grew up in town and never moved away. He is a big booster, but what he boosts is his own fortune, and the fortunes of his friends. He will tip off his buddies on low bids for city contracts. If his cronies want to build a microwave tower or a turkey processing plant near your home, you will be powerless to stop them. His city manager will give administration jobs to all her high school friends. After a year or so, the McCain mayorship will be the cause of bitter divisions between old friends, and between families whose children are no longer allowed to play with one another.

Voting for Barack Obama will be like voting for the man running for mayor who went away and got himself a good education, who has lived in other places and seen how other towns do things, and, even though he could have made a lot more money in a different job, has come back home to help improve his community. He will return fair bidding to city contracts. He is familiar with emerging technologies, and can help attract businesses and new jobs to the area. With him telling your town's story, you will be reminded of why this is a great place to live, and will want to share that pride with others. A Vietnamese family will move to town and open a restaurant. You will be surprised by how much you like Vietnamese food.

In Fishery:

John McCain is like one of those fisherman who, when you ask him how to catch a bass, he'll try to sell you a lure that is "absolutely guaranteed to catch fish."

Barack Obama is like one of those fisherman who, when you ask him how to catch a bass, will say, "First, show me the lake."

In Workian:

Electing John McCain will be like hiring a new CEO for our company who does not know about computers, doesn't know how to read a balance sheet, does not return calls on weekends, is never in the office before ten and always leaves before four. When he's in the office. He's usually out at the club, or on his boat, or going somewhere on the company plane. Meanwhile, he asks employees to make sacrifices, work longer hours, take pay cuts, lose benefits, pay more on our insurance, and get less of an allowance on our company cars. He tells people the guy who was CEO before him and ran the company into the ground did a great job. He brings in a smiling, folksy head of HR to do all his dirty work and conduct massive layoffs. Even those who are not laid off are looking for another place to work.

Electing Barack Obama will be like hiring a new CEO who has fresh ideas for how to get the company back on track, and a team of smart young people who speak technology as a second language to help him do it. He sees the company as participating in a global economy, and knows that it must operate differently than it has in the past in order for it to grow. The company web site gets a major overhaul. Bans on social networks are lifted. As his second in command, he hires a veteran company executive to make sure there is continuity with the company's brand and its employees. He walks the halls a lot and asks people how he can help them do their jobs better. He explains short-term sacrifices as part of a longer-term vision for the company. Nobody works harder, or stays at the office later. Morale improves and so does productivity. It's a long hard road to get the business rolling again, but for the first time in eight years, people are optimistic that it's going to happen.

Hope this helps.

Best regards,

Mike

Mike Bonifer is the author of GameChangers - Improvisation for Business in the Networked World and the co-founder and CEO of the business learning company, GameChangers.

Comments

[Thirdpower]

In "Gunownerese":

Obama is the kind of guy who would tell you to hunt on his land and then call the cops on your for trespassing.

[cookiesuzie]

hire

You are The Boss... which team would you hire?
With America facing historic debt, multiple war fronts, stumbling health care, a weakened dollar, all-time high prison population, skyrocketing Federal spending, mortgage crises, bank foreclosures, etc. etc., this is an unusually critical election year. The idea of "leadership" must be broadened from mere "experience" to include knowledge, learnedness and insight.

Let's look at the educational background of your two options:

Obama:
Occidental College - Two years.
Columbia University - B.A. political science with a specialization in international relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

& Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in history and B.A. in political science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

vs.

McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank 894 of 899

& Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in journalism

Now, which team are you going to hire ?

[Ohio9]

I really wish people would stop making a big deal about McCain gaduating 894th in his academy class. Who cares? Even so, he still graduated from the U. S. Naval Academy. That's a great accomplishment no matter where you rank among your classmates.

[KiwisCanFly]

That was fun, Mike Bonifer.
Thanks.

[cookiesuzie]

Funny thing, something is happening. My younger brother and I are both Democrats and we and our respective families are voting for Obama but my mom who is a registered Republican is voting for Obama as well and now my older brother who is a staunch die-hard Republican just called up to say he is now on the Obama team making the big switch and happy about it. I am actually starting to have hope for the people of America.

[jayburd]

He forgot the language that more than half this country speaks -- dumbassese. And I'm not sure the potential of an Obama presidency can translate into that language...

[djcrsn]

In Gunownerese--I do not trust the judgement of a man who taught Constitutional law who does not understand the plain words of the 2nd Amendment--since the militia consists of everyone over about 16 who is physically capable of serving is in the militia (only real exemption--if you are on active duty--you leave the militia until your tour is over)--so the second half is EXTREMELY CLEAR--"THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED"--and BHO supports the gun bans in Chicago and DC-- and bans are an infringement on the 2nd amendment.

[JinChicago]

are you saying anyone over 16 is part of their states militia? if so, im sure bloods, crips, vice lords, latin kings and everyone else in a gang will be thrilled to hear they are now 'official' members of state government!

granted, i dont believe gun bans should be across the board, however in some areas you cant tell me a gun ban isnt needed. just look at chicago's south side.

[djcrsn]

part of the unorganized militia--yes--google James Madison and militia, also--look up Blackstone's discussion on the militia (major legal treatise on the English common law that led to much of our Constitution. Although--in terms of the gangbangers--since they choose to disregard the limitations on their behavior by law and custom--I have little problem with denying them most of the benefits of the law (if you disregard the law in how you treat others, you should not complain if you are treated in the same manner (if you try to kill, rape, and beat other people up--it is only fair that you are treated the same way))

[Ohio9]

The fact that Chicago has such a huge problem with gun crime is proof that gun bans are useless as a method of fighting it, since it has some of the strictest gun laws in the nation. Gun bans only disarm the lawful, not the criminals.

[Petey131]

Thank you for such an informative article. I have been an Obama supporter since the beginning. I wondered how I can get his message across in "plain English.". You have helped me do just that.

[TexasDem0]

He is the kind of hunter who, sooner or later, is going to shoot another hunter.
(Like Dick Cheney)

[curlyfro317]

Very nice post....lays out the differences between the candidate's philosophies quite well in a few different manners....this is definitely getting forwarded to everyone I know

[Twotooloose]

Oh my goodness Mr Bonifer.....What a wonderful way you have of explaining the difference betwqeen the two. I as a 75 year old white woman who has been on the side of Sen. Obama since the beginning just hope all the "STUPID" women of this country read it....All they see now is woman versus man !!!!
Also hope that all the so called "Redneckers" that can read, read your article for themselves and read it to the others....Look at Sen. Obama as a Man, not a BLACK man.
Mr. Bonifer, CONGRATULATIONS......I just know you have raised the realm to awareness.
THANK YOU...

[TexasDem0]

Thank you TwoToo. I believe you also have raised awareness.

[RickO]

You know what, you can't have Obama now. I want a new CEO and I want him!

Good letter! I like the football analogy.

[Marnie21]

Loved it! Everyone in my family is getting a copy.