11/01/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

The Six Wise Men of Washington

There were six men of Washington
To Wall Street much indebted
Who convened to pass a Bail-Out Bill
That no one else had vetted
If it doesn't pass, they promise us
Financial Armageddon.

The first approached the Bail-Out
Like a charity event
Folks are hurting, he implored
They cannot pay the rent
On the house in Kennebunkport
Or the private Gulfstream jet

The second came to Capitol Hill
And proclaimed it absolute:
What happens now on Wall Street,
America follows suit.
We're all going down unless each of my friends
Gets a golden parachute.

The third didn't read the Bail-Out plan
Which added to the drama.
He rode to the rescue then withdrew
And caused unwanted trauma.
Whatever happened he already knew
He'd blame it on Obama

The fourth man swallowed the Bail-Out
Like a little boy taking medicine
Does he have to? He don't wanna.
In every way he's reticent
Drinking's all he thinks about
A gimlet's what his head is in.

The fifth decried the Bail-Out
As a plan to fleece the poor
The bill is steeped in greed, he claimed
It's an illness, not a cure.
He had no doubt that soon he'd see
His approval rating soar.

The sixth man felt the ticking clock
The march of Father Time
The window's closing, he told his pals,
Let's pull off one more crime
For eight long years I've scratched your backs.
In 40 days you'll scratch mine.

So six wise men of Washington
Each had an attitude
That when taken all together
Convince us to conclude
The only guarantee is this:
We the People will get screwed.