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Mike Malloy

Mike Malloy

Posted: May 28, 2010 01:31 PM

Don't Mess With Texas

What's Your Reaction:

When coyote-shootin' Governor Rick "Dippity Do" Perry suggested last year Texas secede from the Union over the possibility that President Obama might raise taxes, Texas Teabaggers snorted Pabst through their noses with delight while other (a bit closer to normal) citizens of the Lone Star State cringed in embarrassment. Now secession seems like a viable option as the state's school board has laid the foundation for Texas to separate from the entire planet, much less these sad United States.

Last year the board almost succeeded in passing a provision that would have ordered biology teachers to give equal weight and class time to lesson plans about Biblical talking snakes and magic apples as to those discussing evolution and natural selection. (Can you still call it "science class" if the Bible is considered a text book resource on the same level as Darwin's Origin of Species or Isaac Newton's Principia? What would a sample biology test question look like? "God created Eve from what bone in Adam's body: a) femur; b) ulna; c) cranium, or d) rib . . . . but I digress.) But this proposed alteration in the curriculum is even more more sinister than the snow-job they tried to pull last year as it is less obviously designed by the religious wackos.

It appears none of the Republican (them again) majority on the Texas Board of Ed care whether or not the public school students are laughed out of their college history classes; unless, of course, they all matriculate at Oral Roberts or Bob Jones - and I've often wondered what biology majors learn there . . . but I digress. If these ultimate Teabaggers have their way, students soon will be studying the cultural value of the musical genre personified by such important artists as Mr. Billy Ray Cyrus and Ms. Carrie Underwood. No, that's not a joke.

Welcome to Texasland! Soon country music studies will be added to the curriculum next to history classes in which the syllabus will include lessons on the wise writings of unsung national heroes such as Sen. Joe McCarthy and slave-owning Confederate President Jefferson Davis, while removing Thomas Jefferson's name from the list of "great Americans." Newt's Contract With America will be taught along side the Declaration of Independence and the US Constitution as examples of important American documents. And the NRA will be discussed as an example of an organization that defends constitutional rights. In the proposed curriculum changes for U.S. History Since 1877, out goes Susan B. Anthony and Shirley Chisholm and in comes Phyllis Schlafly. Why not replace Martin Luther King, Jr. with Fred Phelps as a real proponent of civil rights?

Board member Don McLeroy, the man who wanted to place 3-D classroom models of Adam and Eve next to the microscopes and cell slides, is also spearheading the changes to the social science curriculum. McLeroy is quoted as saying in a statement that the current ". . . standards are rife with leftist political periods and events: the populists, the progressives, the New Deal and the Great Society. Including material about the conservative resurgence of the 1980s and 1990s provides some political balance to the document."

Yeah, we need some political balance to counteract all this liberal claptrap that permeates our society, from Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh to Bill O'Reilly and Michelle "Crazy Eyes" Malkin. Why, just the other day I heard somebody on (gasp!) Fox NEWS mention that blasphemous global climate change pseudo-science garbage. Next thing you know they'll try to convince us that Gulf oil spill is absolutely not going to harm the environment at all; instead it will provide vital minerals and nutrients we know the wetlands and marshes and marine critters need to survive.

And it's too bad there's no place in this country where a True Young American Patriot can learn about the miraculous, wondrous acts of Ronald Reagan; how he spread his majestic arms like Moses over the Red Sea and caused the Berlin Wall to tumble down. Instead, all this contorted liberal nonsense about The New Deal digging us out of the Great Depression. It's almost as shameful as teaching the significance of George Gershwin over Lee Greenwood. Or Rosa Parks over Sarah Palin. I mean.

Proud to be an American, indeed. There's revisionist history . . . and then there's outright delusional, certifiable, madness.

Pssst . . . Rick Perry . . . . go ahead and secede. Ring up Jan Brewer and see if you can get Arizona to go with you. Oh, and drop me a line if you're interested in snagging a couple more. I've got a list.


Mike can be heard and seen nightly from 9pm-12am ET at Mike Malloy Show


 

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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
zuzuzpetals
11:30 PM on 06/02/2010
It's a systematic assault on the ability to think critically. Critical thinking--as important as a strong, independent Fourth Estate for the survival of a Democracy.

Less and less do we have either.

Love the show, Mike.
01:51 PM on 06/02/2010
Welcome to Idiot America.

The right-wing has been waging open warfare on the citizenry of this country for over 30 years, while liberals and progressive have either (a) dithered, (b) made half-hearted attempts to counteract the madness, or (c) outright colluded with them for personal profit.

The lunacy going on in Texas and Arizona is going to start spreading like wildfire throughout the South and the West.
08:58 AM on 06/02/2010
This is what oil does to people. Look at what it did to the Bush dynasty after they came down from Connecticut!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
James Everett
08:27 AM on 06/02/2010
Ah, Yes,
Darwins "THEORY" of evolution, taught in schools, Of course that's OK, but mention God ? Well if your child gets cancer or some other deadly disease, lets see then if you drop to your knees and pray to that imaginary God, that you don't want your child to have mentioned to him in school. Call on Darwin and worship Darwinism. Somehow I feel certain that on that day, YOU WILL RECOGNIZE YOUR GOD. That will be the only day that you will I suppose.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
HippieChick
Still thinking about tomorrow
10:24 AM on 06/02/2010
Why do you care about my life experiences? It's none of your business whether or not I recognize "YOUR GOD" ... that is my choice to make. Just keep your self-righteous projections to yourself. You have no right to make commentary or even observe judgementally about how I - or anyone else - lives our lives.
01:51 PM on 06/02/2010
I think I'm in love! ;)
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Pavane
I pick my battles and walk from the rest.
10:33 AM on 06/02/2010
What are you talking about. Mentioning God in school is not the issue. The issue is teaching the bible as science. Religion is faith. Faith - belief without evidence - may be taught in churches, but it has NO place in schools and CERTAINLY not science class.
05:36 AM on 06/02/2010
I feel so bad for all the people I know who live in Texas. I can't even imagine how this kind of thing can happen, let alone even be considered.
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11:54 AM on 06/02/2010
Ilive here we are in the devolution stage where a group of 5 people can authorize the bastardization of school books,drop John Quincy Adams completely one of our greatest minds in history,and cut and paste in John Calvin he was more conservative,or 3 pages of RONNIE RAYGUN,1/3 of a page on JFK,, Civil rights was insignificant to social change, History is the good,the bad and the ugly, it should not be rewritten, these are facts, Church and State should be separate,, But to allow any group to omit or bend the facts is fundementaly wrong and shows what the hard right is all about, people think these zealots are a kind group of people,they are in truth a vicious click of self rightous as,,,,,s jams,who have only one agenda,their own
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wayoutleft
my nano-bio coded in a period: .
01:44 AM on 06/02/2010
it is extremely important that the hicks reject science- for therein lies their destruction. i firmly believe that only the book of leviticus should be used in anthropology classes throughout the south and midwest. i also advocate the book of numbers replace physics texts through undergraduate level.i want them to learn absolutely nothing. i want them completely illiterate. i want them submitted to draconian prosecutorial examinations of their complete, to-the-letter compliance with all legally binding desegregation orders. i want civil rights prosecutions from the mountain west to the southeastern coast. i demand total to-the-letter, federally mandated compliance with all diversity directives including multilingual requirements and teaching diverse cultural traditions- at pain of civil rights prosecution. in short, i want the sane, secular majority to GOVERN these hicks.
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Uncle Bob
Darwin loves you.
11:15 PM on 06/01/2010
this article has a lot of bite.

And it's totally justified.

What is happening is a travesty. It is ignorance being promoted proudly. Anyone with an IQ over 80 and/or at least a high school diploma, living in Texas, should be ashamed with what a farce the right is making of their educational system.
11:09 PM on 06/01/2010
Texas school system = beyond pathetic. There's no hope for these people. Forget it, gang.
10:13 PM on 06/01/2010
Missing from this article--the name--David Barton. Use the internets, fire up the google--look him up and his organization Wallbuilders. He is a Christian Reconstructionist--look and see all of the lovely things they have in store for you when they erode everything secular in this country, as is their plan. And while you are looking at the Reconstructionists and their beliefs--see if you think any of the tenants sound familiar--perhaps Rand Paul will come to mind.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
healthanalyst
Banned from commenting, so?
09:21 PM on 06/01/2010
All we need to do if put in a state income tax, all the loony Republicans will leave the state. That's why Bush brought his clan down with his brain damaged son fro Connecticut. We might be able to raise some decent social programs, hospitals, all that.
serena1313
Condemnation w/o investigation is hgt of ignorance
08:20 PM on 06/01/2010
As an 8th generation Texan, Iam horrified by the lunatics sitting on the Texas BoE for cheating future generations the education required to be successful and prosperous. Iam equally mortified by the fact that there was not more of a public uproar and push-back to stop this idiocy.

When I was a student, Texas had one of the best school systems in the nation, today it is one of the worst. Frankly, given America's deteriorating education system and substandard curriculums, students will be lucky if they even get into college at this rate.

The world has changed and keeps changing rapidly. Our children are woefully ill-prepared to change along with it. It is impossible to compete in a global economy without the skills necessary to deal with real world events and circumstances.

Ultimately, unless the American people stand together to improve our school system and speak-out against those who are too blinded by religion, ideology and ignorance and too selfish to give a d.a.m.n about the future of this country, America will otherwise become a nation of worker-bees and little else.

The future belongs to the children of tomorrow, not the lunatics of today.
Threepointturn
Jon Stewart watches Fox "news", so you don't have
08:25 PM on 06/01/2010
#85 reporting in...Home schooling is for the religious people. Then, I am always worried when they teach Racism 101?
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
HippieChick
Still thinking about tomorrow
10:30 AM on 06/02/2010
"When I was a student, Texas had one of the best school systems in the nation..."

I have made this statement many times. I have witnessed, however, many years of these "Christians" attempting to mold the education system into a reflection of their dogma. I am horrified that they have finally succeeded.
07:39 PM on 06/01/2010
Kewl. We can then protect our borders from Texas and Arizona instead of Mexico. Mexico becomes TX and AZ issue. I would see them going to war with Mexico. Then when they lose and are bankrupt, coming back to join the US and get bailed out.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
darcdante
07:22 PM on 06/01/2010
What's wrong with PBR? Why you gotta knock my taste in beer, man?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
xena
07:04 PM on 06/01/2010
HA! So true! I'm going to pass this along for the funny factor, as well as the content.

One of your concerns is my biggest concern. After the domino effect spreads to most state's textbooks, what are these students going to do when they get to college? I hope they're not planning on a history major.
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HUFFPOST PUNDIT
BoyInBOYCOTT
06:07 PM on 06/01/2010
Dumbing Down America one state at a time.
I agree when TX leaves...please take AZ with ya.
I have a list of parasitic red states who take much more from the federal government than they give I'd get rid of in a heartbeat. If the president and Congress had the powers to buy Alaska from Russia, and the Louisiana Purchase from the French, it seems logical they should have the same powers to SELL off some off the lackluster defective states....put em up on ebay.