06/19/2014 10:49 am ET | Updated Aug 19, 2014

Eating Like an Idiot for a Weekend in San Francisco

((This post originally appeared on The Unemployed Eater))

Imagine a young man celebrating his second 29th birthday. Now imagine this same young(ish) man celebrating 29-II in the midst of a nine-month long low-carb wedding diet (because he hopes of not being suffocated by his wedding suit as if it were a Bond villain). More so, imagine how this young man would want to celebrate this momentous birthday, in which he bestows upon himself an entire Cheat Weekend. He wants carbs, dude. Carbs. Thus, when it came to deciding the weekend birthday destination there really wasn't much debate. It would be San Francisco, an unparalleled carbohydrate sanctuary, and, more specifically, home to sublime sourdough bread.
This would be a Cheat Weekend that other Cheat Weekends write home to their parents about. The Cheat Weekend other Cheat Weekends shared with their grandkids. The Cheaty-est Weekend of Cheaty Weekends. The weekend in which I would leave my heart rate in San Francisco.
And I did just that. I ate like an idiot and loved every bite.