The Power Of Not Knowing

Do you like to know things? Would you consider yourself a "know it all," controlling, or anal in any way? All of these things, among many others, apply to me and many people around me.

Why are we so obsessed with knowing everything? While there's nothing wrong with knowledge, learning, and understanding - our insatiable desire to know and control stuff often gets in our way of trying new things, going for it, and being at peace in life.

I heard a great saying recently that made me laugh, "People who think they know everything are really annoying to those of us who actually do." Sadly, many of us, myself included, relate to life and others this way.

This obsession with knowing often has much more to do with our egos and our fear of being judged or embarrassed, than it does with a sincere desire for knowledge and information. We want to control the uncontrollable: life.

What if we didn't have to know everything all the time? What if we could let go, trust, and be at peace with not knowing? Being able to embrace not knowing is one of the most important, yet challenging aspects of life and growth. Being okay with not knowing allows us to be creative, open, and willing to live in a state of wonder and possibility, like children do. My two girls teach me a lot about the importance of not knowing all the time.

Here are a few things we can do to enhance our ability to not know in a positive and beneficial way:

1) Let Go/Surrender - Take your hands off the wheel and trust that that you don't have to do and know everything in order to succeed and be happy. When we let go, peace and freedom can show up authentically. This can be much easier said than done for most of us. And, it's a practice which is all about trust and not being attached.

2) Admit When You Don't Know - Stop pretending that you know stuff you don't know...it is stressful, annoying, and anxiety-producing. We aren't supposed to know everything and none of us do. The easier it is for us to admit we don't know something, the more likely we are to either learn it, let it go, ask for help, or be at peace about it. This is all about having a deep sense of self acceptance and self appreciation.

3) Seek Out Things You Don't Know - Look for things , find stuff, and take things on that you don't understand, , know about, or think you can't do. Doing this builds our confidence, challenges us to expand ourselves, and gives us practice at hanging out in the unknown and uncertainty of life - which is where most real growth, change, and transformation can take place.

Remember to be kind to yourself, laugh often, and not take yourself too seriously. Most of us spend and waste lots of time and energy pretending we know things that we really don't. When we surrender to and embrace not knowing, a profound level of freedom and liberation become possible.

Mike Robbins is a sought-after motivational keynote speaker, coach, and the bestselling author of Focus on the Good Stuff (Wiley) and Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken (Wiley). More info - www.Mike-Robbins.com

 

 

 

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Comments

[CaveatMagnusFrater]

04:58 PM on 12/22/2009

Hi Mike,

Ignorance is bliss. I know some stuff and sometimes what I know makes me happy. I think what I'm most happy about is that I don't know what it feels like to have experienced or worse, performed horrendous deeds. Knowledge is a tool, it's best to use it for benevolence.

Regards,
little brother

[Bernadette Noll]

10:49 AM on 12/22/2009

I often tell my children that to answer a question with, "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer. And by answering with I don't know, you will be assured of learning a whole lot more than if you pretend to know.

http://www.bernadettenoll.blogspot.com
http://www.slowfamilyliving.com

[Eitan Schwarz MD]

10:08 AM on 12/22/2009

A good set of points. Here is something else to consider here: Since we are essentially social beings and our brains primarily designed to assure our survival together, how we exchange information or knowledge and how each of us assesses others are deeply rooted in our social experience. We learn and learn how to learn from each other from the very beginning of our lives. As an expert in media and children and author of KIDS, PARENTS, AND TECHNOLOGY: AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL FOR YOUNG FAMILIES (eBook by LULU), I believe that the digital age can bring both a false sense of security that we can know everything and that everything is knowable, or, the opposite extreme, unreasonable fears that we can never know enough or that others can know all about us. I believe that part of our current challenge as families is to raise kids in a social and family context who can sort through the torrent of information and its effects on our culture and find healthy ways to prioritize and learn and use knowledge as a means to improving themselves and the human race.

[Eitan Schwarz MD]

10:08 AM on 12/22/2009

A good set of points. Here is something else to consider here: Since we are essentially social beings and our brains primarily designed to assure our survival togehter, how we exchange information or knowledge and how each of us assesses others are deeply rooted in our social experience. We learn and learn how to learn from each other from the very beginning of our lives. As an expert in media and children and author of KIDS, PARENTS, AND TECHNOLOGY: AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL FOR YOUNG FAMILIES (eBook by LULU), The digital age can bring both a false sense of security that we can know everything and that everything is knowable, or unreasonable fear that we can never know enough or that others can know all about us. I believe that part of our current challenge is to raise kids in a social and family context who can sort through the torrent of information and find healthy ways to prioritize and learn and use knowledge as a means to improving themselves and the human race.

[khanti]

07:26 PM on 12/21/2009

Ignorance is bliss right? In schooling from grade one to the highest institution of study students are fed knowledge how can you tell them to stop acquiring knowledge?
What I do know is not to get attached to knowledge. Kiv it in our huge megabytes storage brain only to bring it out when needed. It is winzipping it to increase free space.
Here's a useful remark from one of my teacher, 'What? Do you think I am a walking dictionary/encyclopedia? Go look it up yourself." This is how he encouraged people to read.
Don't take my comments too seriously, smile Merry Christmas.

[CRMurray]

05:24 PM on 12/21/2009

A friend of mine jokingly calls me All. Short for Know-it-all.

I didn't realize how much of one I was until she pointed it out. I have a fairly wide range of knowledge on a lot of things and if I don't know the answer I would somewhat make one up that sounds plausible but essentially says "I don't know" without me having to say it. lol

I've gotten better at admitting when i don't know things since then.

I just have a thirst for knowledge. There are people that are just plain nosey. The info they seek serves no purpose other than them knowing whats going on in someone else's life.

[Bluedog12]

03:18 PM on 12/21/2009

The power of not knowing. Well sir that means that Glen Beck is the most powerful man on Earth.