Sylvester Stallone (Rhinestone) has a new movie coming out this weekend called Bullet to the Head. How many people get a bullet to the head in Bullet to the Head? Here, we answered every question that you could possibly have about Bullet to the Head.
Q: How many people get a bullet to the head in Bullet to the Head?
A: Eleven. (I think.)
Q: How many times is the phrase "bullet to the head" spoken in Bullet to the Head?
Q: How does "Bullet to the Head" start?
A: With a bullet through the Warner Bros. logo.
Q: Is Bullet to the Head filled with ethnic jokes about people of Asian ancestry?
A: Stallone plays a man by the name of Jimmy Bobo who is not opposed to an occasional racial slur.
Q: Is Bullet to the Head a story about Jimmy facing his own demons, finally coming to grasp with the ethnic stereotypes he incorporates into his daily life? Is the "bullet" in the title a metaphor for cultural acceptance?
A: No. Jimmy Bobo is a hitman.
Q: Who is Jimmy hired to kill?
A: The film starts with Jimmy and his partner, Louis (Jon Seda), killing a man in a New Orleans hotel room.
Q: How is the target killed?
A: A bullet to the head.
Q: Does this particular hit come back to haunt Jimmy and Louis?
A: After the hit is complete, a new hit is put on Jimmy and Louis to tie up loose ends. The hit on Louis succeeds.
Q: Does Louis get a bullet to the head?
A: Louis gets a knife to the lung. (Which, yes, would be a dandy name for the sequel.)
Q: After Louis is killed, does Jimmy vow revenge?
A: Not really. A police officer from D.C. named Taylor Kwan (Sung Kang) is investigating these killings and knows that some very powerful people are involved and they are much more important than a hitman for hire. Kwan has to convince Jimmy to help -- but Jimmy resists because Jimmy doesn't like cops. Eventually, the two men team up to bring down the powers that be.
Q: Who are the powers that be?
A: Well, there are some politicians and judges ... Honestly, it doesn't matter. Christian Slater is involved, though.
Q: Does Christian Slater's character get a bullet to the head?
A: What do you think?
Q: Is Jimmy's house and car wired with explosives for no apparent reason, yet these features come in handy at some point during Bullet to the Head?
Q: Does Jimmy have a daughter who will be kidnapped at some point during Bullet to the Head?
Q: What kind of accent does Stallone attempt in Bullet to the Head?
A: He's definitely trying something, but your guess is as good as mine. Put it this way: remember the Cloverfield monster? If you swore to me that Stallone based his accent on the Cloverfield monster, I would have a hard time not believing you.
Q: What the most unintentionally (or, perhaps, it was intentionally) funny scene in Bullet to the Head?
A: At one point there's a montage of Jimmy's arrest record, which features photo after photo of "Stallone through the years" with a mugshot placard Photoshopped into each one. Honestly, one of these photos looks like it was taken on the red carpet of a Planet Hollywood opening.
Q: Is Bullet to the Head another, "Oh, I'm old"-type movie like Arnold Schwarzenegger's bomb, The Last Stand?
A: Stallone wisely puts the tired, "Oh, I'm old," shtick away and instead just pretends like he's a man who's not going to turn 67 later this year.
Q: Walter Hill directed Bullet to the Head. What is your favorite Walter Hill movie?
A: Brewster's Millions.
Q: Is Bullet to the Head a good movie?
A: Good God, no.
Q: Is Bullet to the Head strangely enjoyable?
A: Strangely, yes. As opposed to Stallone's overly convoluted and messy Expendables movies, if nothing else, Bullet to the Head knows what it wants to be: a bad movie starring Sylvester Stallone that ends with an ax fight.
Q: How many times during Bullet to the Head did you feel an overwhelming sense of guilt for enjoying Bullet to the Head?
A: Three times.
Q: If you're going to be blurbed in this weekend's commercials for Bullet to the Head, what do you hope is used?
A: "You will feel an overwhelming sense of guilt for enjoying Bullet to the Head!" Mike Ryan - The Huffington Post
Q: Is there a climatic ax fight between Stallone and the guy who played Khal Drogo on Game of Thrones?
Q: What's the most ridiculous thing to happen during Bullet to the Head?
Q: Does the ax fight end with someone getting a body part chopped off?
A: Even though axes are the main weapons used during this fight, you might want to check out the title of this movie one more time.
Mike Ryan is senior writer for Huffington Post Entertainment. You can contact him directly on Twitter.