On Tuesday afternoon, I attended a screening of Top Gun presented in 3D and IMAX (well, the fake IMAX that's not quite as big as the real IMAX, but it costs the same amount). In my life, I would guess I've seen Top Gun around 15 times. Though, I can't remember the last time I really paid attention to Top Gun. Top Gun makes great background noise while one pays his bills, naps or surfs for Internet porn. (I am not admitting to any of those three things.) Anyway, to mark this occasion, watching Top Gun on the big screen, I kept a diary of my experience.
3:05 p.m. Something called "The IMAX Crosscheck" just flashed on the screen and it started so loud that I literally jumped out of my seat. If there were more than six other people in this theater, I may have been embarrassed.
3:08 p.m. I completely forgot there is text to open the film in an effort to explain what's going on. Honestly, if there's any movie that could get away with "just starting without explanation," it's probably Top Gun.
3:12 p.m. There is no better movie scene made for a large screen and very loud speakers than the one right when the "Top Gun Anthem" morphs into Kenny Loggins' "Danger Zone as the fighter jet takes off.
3:13 p.m. I want to join the Navy.
3:14 p.m. One of my fears about Top Gun in 3D did not come true: the 3D is barely noticeable, not intrusive. It adds some depth, but nothing leaps off the screen.
3:16 p.m. I'm well aware that Tim Robbins is in this movie, but the first time I see him, I'm always surprised. It feels like he was retroactively added somehow -- like Hayden Christensen in Return of the Jedi.
3:17 p.m. An interesting thing you can try: thanks to the 3D, if you take your 3D glasses off, you can watch the movie with the same type of vision that Cougar has in this scene as he tries to land his plane.
3:20 p.m. It's weird hearing James Tolkan say the line, "Your ego is writing checks that your body can't cash," because it sounds so cliché now, even though he's the first one who said it.
3:25 p.m. As much as I'd like to admit to the contrary, I don't think there's anyone in this Top Gun class that I could actually be friends with. Maybe Goose. Maybe.
3:27 p.m. I never before noticed that it's "Animal Night" at the bar where the eventful rendition of "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" takes place at.
3:28 p.m. Maverick and Iceman are introduced to each other as "Pete" and "Tom." Iceman seems nice.
3:30 p.m. Tom Cruise singing "You've Lost that Lovin' Feeling" is officially cringe worthy. I am physically cringing.
3:32 p.m. "You've Lost that Lovin' Feeling" came out in 1964. Top Gun was originally released in 1986. Based on that 22-year gap, I can't help but think that if Top Gun were a new movie today, Tom Cruise would be singing "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" by C+C Music Factory.
3:40 p.m. It is so loud in this theater when the jets are flying. I am not complaining about this.
3:41 p.m. This movie is GREAT.
3:42 p.m. The entire audience of six just laughed when Tom Cruise barked back, "That's right!" after Iceman called him dangerous.
3:43 p.m. Goose is the Chandler Bing of fighter pilots.
3:44 p.m. Honestly, Tom Cruise might not be as famous as he is today if this movie didn't exist, but he may have two or three Oscar wins by now for an assortment of reasons.
3:45 p.m. I don't like Slider's call sign because it reminds me of a mini-hamburger.
3:50 p.m. It's beach volleyball time.
3:51 p.m. Tom Cruise's "looking at his watch while flexing his bicep" move really hits home in 3D.
3:53 p.m. I love that Anthony Edwards is the only participant of the beach volleyball game who wore his shirt. I can only imagine the behind-the-scenes conversation:
Tony Scott: "Anthony, do you want to take your shirt off like Tom and Val?"
Anthony Edwards: "No, that's OK. In 27 years when this is re-released in 3D, I'd like to have my dignity intact."
3:55 p.m. Maverick just said, "I haven't heard this song in years." He's referring to Otis Redding's "(Sittn' On) The Dock of the Bay." Maverick is the only person ever, real or fictional, who hasn't heard "(Sittn' On) The Dock of the Bay" in "years."
3:59 p.m. If this movie were cast today, Meg Ryan's part would be played by Amy Poehler.
4:05 p.m. While Maverick and Charlie are making out, they perform the not often seen "one person sits still with her tongue out while the other person moves his chin over it" maneuver.
4:10 p.m. I have to admit, I've always had it in my head that Iceman is a dick. Honestly, I think he's the most reasonable person in this movie, by far.
4:15 p.m. Goose is dead. It's weird, in the past I've always been confused by what caused Maverick and Goose's jet to stall. Since the last time I saw this movie, I've developed an unhealthy fear/fascination with turbulence. Anyway, I now finally know what "jet wash" means.
4:22 p.m. Iceman still seems like the most reasonable person in this movie.
4:33 p.m. I wonder if any of these MIG pilots had a similar narrative to that of Maverick. Maybe one or a few of them were just at their version of Top Gun. Maybe one of them just lost his partner. Maybe instead of returning as the hero, there's an alternate universe where someone in the Soviet Union watched that entire movie, only to have the protagonist blown up by some "hot shot John Wayne American."
4:39 p.m. I love that Maverick is trying to have a quiet moment with Goose, holding Goose's dog tags, asking for guidance, while Tim Robbins in literally in the backseat yelling at the top of his lungs.
4:42 p.m. Tim Robbin's Merlin is the Gunther of fighter pilots.
4:50 p.m. I still get chills when Maverick and Iceman hug. I can't help it.
4:55 p.m. If there's ever going to be a Top Gun 2, it should be about Maverick and Iceman, living normal lives as commercial airline pilots. Then the Navy calls, asking them to teach at Top Gun. The Charlotte to Tacoma route they both fly everyday is too profitable compared to what Top Gun is offering, so Iceman convinces Maverick to turn down the offer. This is something that Iceman would do, because he is reasonable.
Mike Ryan is senior writer for Huffington Post Entertainment. You can contact him directly on Twitter.
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