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Is It Really That Strange For a Guy to Wear a Dress?

06/23/2015 12:15 pm ET | Updated Jun 23, 2016
Courtesy of Miles Robbins

It has been very strange to see the small comment my mother made about me wearing dresses with my band appearing in all sorts of Internet publications around the country (accompanied by photos of me and her that I didn't know existed). I don't know why anyone would care for my statement, as they were ready to sensationalize my dress-wearing based on a single sentence, but in case this becomes even more sensationalized, I would just like to put this out there: Is it really that strange for a guy to wear a dress?

So, so, so many people, especially musicians, have done this before me. I wear dresses on stage and to occasional fancy dress events because I do not enjoy neckties. I wear dresses to embrace femininity (adjective) but not to re-assign my gender to female (noun). I think that it is absurd to think that there is a rigidity to the identity of CIS and Heterosexual males and females -- that for a man to wear a dress or for a woman to wear pants must mean that they are LGBTQ. Of course, I don't mean to step on the toes of the trans community, because I think that they are incredibly brave, and I cannot imagine how difficult it is to be born in the wrong body -- especially in the brutal and unforgiving age of Internet bullying. I wish that gender didn't have to be assigned on public documents like driver's licenses, passports and such... that is the pressure that society puts on trans people. I was really bothered when an ex-coworker of mine forwarded one of these articles to me, because I don't deserve a discussion about my gender identity. I don't have a struggle with my gender identity. I feel more male than female. And I am mostly heterosexual (and white to boot!).

That being said, isn't it possible to distinguish between the adjectives of "feminine" and "masculine" and the nouns "female" and "male"? Is it not reasonable for a female to embrace masculinity (like female athletes) or for males to embrace femininity (like male jewelry designers)? I do not identify as LGBT, but I don't think that I am anywhere close to being the most traditionally hetero guy in town. I don't enjoy watching football very much, I really like small animals, I cook and bake a lot, I listen to Joanna Newsom, I know how to sew, I have watched the VH1 reality show Daisy of Love about six times in its entirety. and it surprises my friends that I enjoy hockey as much as I do. As for sexuality, I've never had sex with a man, but I have kissed a few. I really do find women to be the most exciting to my... parts. But I did develop a serious loin-stirring crush on special agent Dale Cooper (while watching Twin Peaks in bed with my girlfriend). I guess the point is, no, I am not LGBTQ, but I do identify with the concept of allowing yourself to be interested in the things that you are interested in, despite what the external influence of the world around you encourages you to pursue. If you are born into a hunting family and want to make music about My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, then you should. If you are born into a hippie commune and want to be a UFC fighter... go for it.

And if you arrived at this via one of those articles... the little statement my Ma said was at an event for The Trevor Project and I encourage you to be involved or donate.