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Mindy Utay
Mindy Utay is a psychotherapist who also practiced law before she opened a private psychotherapy practice in Manhattan where she specializes in relationship conflict resolution. She has been featured as an expert in Forbes and other national publications. Her specialty in relationship conflict resolution has made her a sought-after expert and she has been interviewed on radio and lectures publicly. Her website is

Entries by Mindy Utay

No Conflict, No Passion

(0) Comments | Posted May 23, 2016 | 11:41 AM

Sometimes a marriage can resemble an amicable divorce. That's the important takeaway in the insightful article in this week's Modern Love section of the NY Times.

The author describes a marriage without passion or conflict, where the routines of domestic life that kept the marriage together were no...

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6 Tips for Nailing the First Date Conversation

(0) Comments | Posted April 29, 2016 | 4:20 PM

Dating apps are useful ways of finding love in today's world. Many successful long-term relationships began with a click and a swipe. But it's also possible to waste a lot of time hoping for miracles. Many people regret spending precious time hoping they can change a frog into a prince....

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Like Father, Like Son, Like Baseball

(1) Comments | Posted March 18, 2016 | 12:10 AM

I get Adam LaRoche. He loves his son, Drake, and wants to spend as much time with him as possible doing what he loves to do, play baseball. I also understand why the White Sox felt that after so many years of bringing a young child to the clubhouse everyday,...

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What Is a Happy Marriage?

(0) Comments | Posted February 26, 2016 | 3:49 PM

In a recent NYTimes op-ed David Brooks tackles the tricky topic of married life. In "The Three Views of Marriage" he contemplates why most married people are unhappier today than in the past. His premise is interesting but he proposes a theory of a "moral" marriage that is...

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What Is a Healthy Marriage?

(0) Comments | Posted October 29, 2015 | 1:30 PM

In yesterday's New York Times, Tara Parker-Pope wrote about a study on marriage and whether it is healthier to be married than single. There is a well-established notion that married people are generally healthier than their unmarried counterparts. But a study out of Brigham Young University sought to...

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The Emotional Toll of a Cutthroat Work Environment

(2) Comments | Posted August 28, 2015 | 4:10 PM

A recent article in the New York Times revealed the bruising workplace environment at Amazon. The gist? Amazon employees are encouraged to poke holes in one another's ideas, give secret feedback about coworkers and work incredibly late hours (emails after midnight, anyone?). The takeaway was that Amazon pushes...

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The Elephant in the Room

(0) Comments | Posted June 5, 2015 | 12:12 PM

The elephant in the room. That is term Sheryl Sandberg used for the discomfort people feel when faced with someone who is grieving and bereft. In her brave and graceful post on Facebook yesterday, Sandberg shared the experience of mourning her husband, Dave.

To her great credit,...

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Law and Psychology: Jurors Face the Heart of Conflict

(0) Comments | Posted April 27, 2015 | 4:06 PM

Two high-profile, emotionally-charged criminal trials are currently underway in Colorado and Boston. The trial of James Holmes, the gunman who allegedly killed 12 and injured many others in the Aurora movie theater begins today. Also today, the lawyers for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev will begin their plea to the jury to spare...

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5 Reasons You Shouldn't Give Up On Love

(5) Comments | Posted April 9, 2015 | 3:39 PM

Is it OK to give up on finding love in your life? Let's say you're in your late 30's or older, and despite years of dating and maybe some close calls or near-misses, you are still single.

If the thought of more blind dates or online dating catastrophes make you...

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Boomer Men: No Crying Allowed?

(0) Comments | Posted March 13, 2015 | 11:12 AM

I didn't think I'd be writing about men.

My last blog was a rallying cry for heightened consciousness among women of the baby boom generation. It encouraged women "of a certain age" to stand strong against the culture's youth obsession and the marginalization of older women.

But then...

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Boomer Women: No Expiration Dates

(1) Comments | Posted March 3, 2015 | 2:03 PM

I'm starting a movement.

As women grow older, they are sold a bill of goods. Our youth-obsessed society gives them an "expiration date" on their productivity, relevance and power. And we are buying into it. Many women see signs of aging as a weakness and start making excuses that diminish...

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Dying: A Human Touch

(2) Comments | Posted January 28, 2015 | 12:06 PM

Sometimes you read an essay that speaks directly to your heart, and that happened today when I read the New York Times piece "In My Cat's Death, A Human Comfort."

In her touching essay, Margo Rabb compares the recent death of her beloved cat, Sophie, with that of...

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Get Out of Your Comfort Zone: A New Approach to Old Resolutions

(0) Comments | Posted January 12, 2015 | 5:02 PM

The ball dropped. Confetti is swept. The lights and ornaments are packed away for another year.

It's 2015 -- and January doldrums are setting in.

Like many other New Year's "resolutionists" you may be stuck in old habits, confronting the realization that change is harder than it looks. Whether it's...

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Superego on Steroids: Standing Up to New Year's Resolutions

(0) Comments | Posted December 22, 2014 | 1:57 PM

After the holidays are over, we are not quite ready to stop and take a breath, as there is one more item on most people's to-do lists: making New Year's resolutions. Familiar with the usual list of self-improvement goals such as losing weight and exercising more, we are compelled to...

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Holiday Hell 2: Toppling Tiresome Traditions

(0) Comments | Posted December 9, 2014 | 11:14 AM

If you think the push towards the holidays feels more like Holiday Hell to you, filled with unrealistic expectations and unnecessary demands, then consider this:

If you could rid yourself of the stale traditions and old routines of the holidays that feel oppressive year after year, would you? Do you...

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Comment j'ai appris à ne plus redouter les fêtes de fin d'année

(0) Comments | Posted November 20, 2014 | 1:10 PM

Ce n'est un secret pour personne : les fêtes de fin d'année sont souvent synonymes d'angoisse.

Composer avec l'arrivisme de certains parents, appréhender le moment des retrouvailles avec les membres les plus pénibles de la famille, ou affronter les files interminables au centre commercial et les embouteillages monstres... Pour certains,...

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Navigating Holiday Hell, or How I Learned to Love the Holidays

(1) Comments | Posted November 15, 2014 | 4:18 PM

It's no secret that each year, as the holidays approach, anxiety issues begin to percolate.

Whether it's the pushiness of relatives, the apprehension of gathering with difficult family members, or the anticipation of endless lines at the mall and traffic nightmares, for some, the holidays are not all they're...

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Seeing Jeter Go

(0) Comments | Posted September 24, 2014 | 12:51 PM

After nearly twenty years as a Yankee, Derek Jeter is leaving home.

The Yankee stalwart plays his last home game Thursday in the city that watched him grow into an exceptional professional athlete and man of integrity. Since the mid-'90s, Jeter has been our native son, giving 100 percent to...

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Marriage at First Sight?

(2) Comments | Posted September 16, 2014 | 4:56 PM

Can a modern couple find marital happiness without knowing each other before the wedding? Can reality television teach married couples what it takes to sustain healthy relationships? Married at First Sight -FYI's hit reality TV show--seeks to do both.

On the program, "experts" select six random singles and arrange three...

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Navigating Life Changes

(0) Comments | Posted July 18, 2014 | 4:22 PM

There is a fundamental dilemma in the human condition. It's about change. We desire it but also fear it. It's an inevitable part of life, yet we often "kick and scream" our way through it.

As a society, we are obsessed with change -- changing ourselves and others. Just...

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