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Mindy Utay
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Mindy Utay is a licensed psychotherapist and couples counselor who also trained as a lawyer at Weil, Gotschal and Manges before she opened a private psychotherapy practice in Manhattan. She has been featured as an expert on relationships and behavioral issues in Forbes and other national publications. She is an expect on conflict and communication and has been interviewed on radio and lectures publicly. Her website is www.utaytherapistnyc.com.

Entries by Mindy Utay

Holiday Hell 2: Toppling Tiresome Traditions

(0) Comments | Posted December 9, 2014 | 12:14 PM

If you think the push towards the holidays feels more like Holiday Hell to you, filled with unrealistic expectations and unnecessary demands, then consider this:

If you could rid yourself of the stale traditions and old routines of the holidays that feel oppressive year after year, would you? Do you...

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Comment j'ai appris à ne plus redouter les fêtes de fin d'année

(0) Comments | Posted November 20, 2014 | 2:10 PM

Ce n'est un secret pour personne : les fêtes de fin d'année sont souvent synonymes d'angoisse.

Composer avec l'arrivisme de certains parents, appréhender le moment des retrouvailles avec les membres les plus pénibles de la famille, ou affronter les files interminables au centre commercial et les embouteillages monstres... Pour certains,...

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Navigating Holiday Hell, or How I Learned to Love the Holidays

(1) Comments | Posted November 15, 2014 | 5:18 PM

It's no secret that each year, as the holidays approach, anxiety issues begin to percolate.

Whether it's the pushiness of relatives, the apprehension of gathering with difficult family members, or the anticipation of endless lines at the mall and traffic nightmares, for some, the holidays are not all they're...

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Seeing Jeter Go

(0) Comments | Posted September 24, 2014 | 1:51 PM

After nearly twenty years as a Yankee, Derek Jeter is leaving home.

The Yankee stalwart plays his last home game Thursday in the city that watched him grow into an exceptional professional athlete and man of integrity. Since the mid-'90s, Jeter has been our native son, giving 100 percent to...

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Marriage at First Sight?

(2) Comments | Posted September 16, 2014 | 5:56 PM

Can a modern couple find marital happiness without knowing each other before the wedding? Can reality television teach married couples what it takes to sustain healthy relationships? Married at First Sight -FYI's hit reality TV show--seeks to do both.

On the program, "experts" select six random singles and arrange three...

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Navigating Life Changes

(0) Comments | Posted July 18, 2014 | 5:22 PM

There is a fundamental dilemma in the human condition. It's about change. We desire it but also fear it. It's an inevitable part of life, yet we often "kick and scream" our way through it.

As a society, we are obsessed with change -- changing ourselves and others. Just...

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Do Prenups Ruin Romance?

(0) Comments | Posted May 7, 2014 | 1:15 PM

With wedding season coming into full bloom, some couples are doing more than shopping for wedding gowns, ordering flowers, and choosing reception venues. Many couples are discussing the terms of their prenuptial agreements.

You may be thinking: Is this planning a happy future together, or a divorce?

For some...

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Reasons Not to Be Happy

(2) Comments | Posted April 18, 2014 | 5:09 PM

Listening to Pharrell William's runaway hit "Happy" over the past few weeks got me thinking about happiness. As David Brooks noted in his NYT op-ed piece earlier this month, "We live in a culture awash in talk about happiness," and bookstore shelves are filled with thousands of books...

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When Love Is a Battlefield

(0) Comments | Posted February 27, 2014 | 12:52 PM

Within the past few years, this country has brought home all of our troops from Iraq, and our soldiers currently deployed in Afghanistan are expected to come home by the end of the year. As these brave men and women return to the United States, their homecomings are celebrated with...

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Love Triangles

(0) Comments | Posted November 8, 2013 | 12:11 PM

"Betrayal" is on the lips of Londoners and New Yorkers alike this fall. Across the pond the phone-hacking trial of Murdoch editors Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson, has outed their six-year extramarital affair. On Broadway, the play "Betrayal" by Harold Pinter, a dramatization of his eight-year love affair --has been...

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Advice for Parents of Millennials

(8) Comments | Posted July 19, 2013 | 11:15 AM

Adults: You need to sit down and read "Adulting," a blog by a very wise Millennial, Kelly Williams Brown. A printed collection of the blog has been published under the same name, subtitled "How to Become a Grown Up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps." It came to my attention via

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Trauma in Civilian Clothes

(1) Comments | Posted June 17, 2013 | 7:02 PM

A front-page New York Times article a few years ago highlighted the growing number of veteran suicides, many resulting from post-traumatic stress disorder. Headlined "After Combat, Victims of an Inner War," the coverage included several video interviews with veterans unable to piece their civilian lives back together: A...

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Huma and Anthony: Rebuilding After Wreckage

(4) Comments | Posted April 23, 2013 | 5:13 PM

Life can turn on a dime. Just ask Huma Abedin, profiled in the April 14th Sunday Times along with her husband, former congressman Anthony Weiner, now an NYC mayoral contender.

The day before Abedin's life started unraveling, she dined with the Queen of England (literally) along...

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Will Gay Marriage Save the Institution?

(0) Comments | Posted March 29, 2013 | 1:40 PM

Let's hope that the Supreme Court legalizes gay marriage -- so that the institution itself has a fighting chance.

As a couples therapist I can attest to the fact that gender differences are a nemesis of marriage.

I'm speaking from the trenches, as a therapist who spends most...

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Winning and Losing in Applying to College

(1) Comments | Posted March 17, 2013 | 8:42 PM

With the Oscars behind us, it's time for America's next gladiatorial event: college acceptances and rejections. Many schools are mailing out (or posting online) their admissions decisions during the next few weeks. Each letter carries a potent message. The notions of "accepted" and "rejected" are emotionally loaded ideas -- a...

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Sandberg's Crusade

(2) Comments | Posted March 6, 2013 | 6:07 PM

As tempting it may be to crusade against Sheryl Sandberg -- and to read the opinion pages and blogs, many have fallen to this temptation -- let's give fairness a try. Sandberg's message is far less heretical to the church of motherhood than it appears. If you lean in and...

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The Older 'Girls'

(4) Comments | Posted February 22, 2013 | 4:30 PM

Two iconic women have returned to the media spotlight this week, if only briefly. Lee Radziwill, 79, graced the cover of last Sunday's New York Times Style Magazine with her still-beautiful face and whippet-trim form. Two days later, Yoko Ono celebrated her 80th birthday to public acclaim. These women --...

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New Year, New Sex

(2) Comments | Posted January 7, 2013 | 11:04 AM

The new year is a fresh start, a symbolic disengagement from the past, and an opportunity to reflect on and tackle issues that matter the most. Improving relationships ranks near the top of the "issues" list. Each January, I see an uptick in my couple's therapy practice as people emerge...

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Till Tweet Do Us Part

(1) Comments | Posted November 28, 2012 | 12:30 PM

Now it's certain. If General David Petraeus couldn't keep his emails private, then neither can you.

He allegedly tried staying under the radar by hiding pillow talk with his paramour in the drafts folder of a secret Gmail account. But any dim-witted teenager knows better. If you're...

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Holiday Giving

(0) Comments | Posted November 20, 2012 | 3:13 PM

The season of giving is upon us. In the World According to Retail, the holidays are just hours away, and so -- inevitably -- is the high wire act of gift-giving.

Gifts are powerful symbols. In every culture, the choice of object and the manner of presentation carries deep significance....

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