THE BLOG
03/27/2013 01:33 pm ET | Updated Feb 02, 2016

Those Little Red Squares

Today is a big day. The Supreme Court is hearing a challenge to the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act, which denies federal benefits to legally married same-sex couples. And if you are on Facebook or any social media or frankly if you just don't live under a rock, then you know that those little red boxes are a red alert for your stance on DOMA and marriage equality. I admit I don't know if there is an image for people who are against allowing same-sex couples to marry, but there might be.

I'm always a little hesitant to post on Facebook about the proverbial red square. I am, as I made clear a few months ago in a post about a spouse group who denied a woman entrance because they thought she just wasn't spouse enough, a supporter of the rights of same-sex couples to marry. (I should mention that Ashley Broadway was later asked to join the spouse group after some legal action was taken.) But I'm still a tiny bit leery of posting on Facebook about my political positions which is odd -- I'm fine writing a big ol' long-winded blog about how people should be allowed to marry whomever they love but when it comes to Facebook, I mostly limit myself to musings about my kids, husband, or weekend adventures with gal pals.

I suppose it's because I can throw up a picture of my adorable daughter sporting her new eye glasses or my other daughter with a fresh Band-Aid on her face and it's obvious what's happening. It's easy to see that my poor eyesight has tragically been passed down to my eldest. And pretty much everyone who knows me, knows my youngest is a glutton for bumps, cuts and bruises. I love reading the comments below these kinds of photos and I laugh out loud when my friends find another snarky photo or graphic that so perfectly demonstrates my devotion to the art of drinking wine. In fact, scrolling down my Facebook wall shows a significant amount of these wine-related photos. Hmmm...

Here's the thing: I know some of my friends are against gay marriage. And if I'm for it then do I have to put up the little red square or some version of it? If I'm for the repeal of DOMA, do I announce it to all? Is Facebook the platform for sharing my political leanings? I don't know the answer to this. The problem is that if I don't post the red square, then I worry that someone will mistake me for what I'm not. I shouldn't care about this. I should care more about the fact that when my husband and I fell in love and got engaged, we dove into wedding planning within days. The church, reception location (The Walnut Room in Chicago's famed Marshall Fields!), the double-decker buses that would take our guests on an architectural tour of Chicago, and the sword arch that would draw a crowd of spectators unused to seeing Marines in full dress blues.

So for now, I'll post something about how love and respect should be the basis for marriage, not gender. And perhaps I'll post about the fact that we should support happy marriages between two people who love each other and their happy children and definitely more wedding receptions in The Walnut Room.

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