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Molly Secours

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Colicky Babies, Tea Party Tantrums & Compassion

Posted: 03/28/10 08:22 PM ET

I got a call recently from a friend who was at the end of her rope. Her infant was colicky, and although they'd tried everything, their beloved bundle of joy wouldn't stop screaming. Singing, rocking, cajoling, feeding or changing his diaper had no effect. Even strapping him into the kiddie seat and driving around the block in the middle of the night -- telling him tales of imaginary dragons -- didn't assuage the cries.

Because he couldn't actually articulate his discomfort in a way that made sense or allowed them to relieve his suffering, they exhausted themselves trying to find both cause and solution.

Some days the frustration got the better of them, and both parents admitted feeling shame for feeling the urge to scream back -- which of course would have only caused more harm. What seemed to calm him during one episode had no effect during the next.

After watching the House vote on health care reform Sunday evening and thinking of the past 9 months, I marveled at the parallels.

Like these devoted parents eager to please and offer peace, it seems Obama's attempts at bipartisanship in health care reform were met with the same tantrums of the inconsolable child whose shrieks are inexplicable and incoherent.

So what exactly is the source of discontent? Is it really the deficit and big government? Is it the scary "socialism" for which we are all destined to hell for providing basic human health care services?

It is difficult to determine the roots of rage that ignited this nearly yearlong tantrum. Given that most of the shrieking is coming from those who supported an administration that ushered the country into two wars that drove the country into unspeakable debt, it is hard to imagine that fiscal responsibility is actually the source of concern.

Perhaps some of the colicky outbursts in Washington are rooted in the discomfort of contradiction. It certainly seems there is a disconnect between justifying the debt of waging war for righteous reasons -- concern for our "fellow man" halfway across the world -- and the inability to extend basic medical care for those dying right here at home because of a lack of insurance.

And what of the bankruptcy epidemic spreading across the country and adding to the national debt? If more than 60 percent of all bankruptcies are due to medical debt, how can the new legislation be a negative for the economy?

If small businesses can now offer health care to employees and receive substantial tax benefits, it seems that a rise in entrepreneurship is just around the corner. Isn't that what is needed to boost an economy during a recession?

And for all of us touting the slogan that "being an American means freedom," how about the freedom that comes from not having to keep a job you hate because you are terrified of getting sick? Is it possible that to be relieved of the fear of illness just might empower millions of Americans to dream bigger, take more chances and maybe even start a business, which until now seemed irresponsible or worst -- impossible.

The colicky, fear-based cries of obstructionists who opposed Social Security, Medicare or civil rights, and who predicted the end of civilization at top volume, were no more credible than the recent howling dissenters of health care reform.

Nothing would soothe them, certainly not the assertion that Americans might thrive and live better because of their existence. And yet in 2010, the prospect of dismantling any of these programs -- that benefit us all -- would be perceived as an affront to all Americans.

Beneath the screeching and preaching of socialist evils is an inarticulate terror that seems to suggest scarcity and competition. It is the illusion and mythology of equal opportunity that lies at the root of this mistaken idea and is cause for the vociferous objection that has infected the public dialog around health care. But it has been disguised as economic concerns.

It is with this knowledge that President Obama was finally inspired to act with clarity. Forced to accept that sometimes the cries of the people are rooted in historical fear and mania, he has finally picked up the keys and assumed the drivers seat in the car we gave him in November 2008.

Now we must be willing to take that middle of the night drive, patiently and compassionately enduring the tantrums of those taunted by the imaginary dragons of socialism, for they may continue to kick and scream from the backseat.

If history is any indicator, 30 short years from now, being without health care will be deemed un-American.

 
 
 
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Mark Olmsted
essayist, blogger, activist
02:20 PM on 03/31/2010
I love that one of your ads is for "Infant Gas Pain Relief." Maybe that's what the Tea Partiers need.
09:42 AM on 03/31/2010
nice work indeed!

a minor clarification in regard to your statement, "If small businesses can now offer health care to employees and receive substantial tax benefits, it seems that a rise in entrepreneurship is just around the corner." I think that part of the reason that health costs are so high are that they are tax deductible--in essence, the feds giving corporate welfare to insurance companies--If the real costs were reflected and passed on to corporations and individuals, they might not risk such high rates for fear of angering their customers--

double check me on this.
02:19 PM on 03/30/2010
Research indicates that babies (or at least YOUNG people) are not the "colicky" ones.
Only 26% of young people age 20-29 (Early Millennials) feel connected to the Tea Party Movement according to a March 2010 online survey by market research group, Albing International Marketing (AIM). In fact, 34% of those surveyed “have no idea” what the Tea Party movement is. AIM, which is publishing a major study about Millennials (and how they live) in April 2010, inserted the following question about the Tea Party in their online survey of *500+ Millennials:

What statement best matches your attitude about the "Tea Party" movement?
It's a bunch of angry, old people 14%
They are a group of people with valid concerns 24%
I've heard of it, but really don't have an opinion 26%
I am a member of the Tea Party movement 2%
I have no idea what it is 34%

*Randomly selected per US geographic distribution, ethnicity, and gender distribution. Age 20-29 years.

For more information about Millennials and their attitudes about the economy see:
http://www.albing.com/blog.php
11:37 AM on 03/30/2010
Changing from Bush to Obama has just been too hard for some. It happened when we eliminated slavery. It happened when women were allowed to vote. It is especially difficult right now as we try to move into more of a sense of social responsibility at home and a sense of community in the world.

Some who are against these changes really are in a tantrum. The best way to deal with this is to keep trying to move forward and give some of the infants around us time to grow up.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
2sunny
Sing....when shadows fall...
11:19 AM on 03/30/2010
I love your parable, Molly. Thank-you for your articulate voice that helps clarify this national discussion.
10:53 PM on 03/29/2010
Right on, Molly! You hit the nail on the head. No one wants to come out and say what is really motivating these people--can you say, "RACISM?" But their racism is so unconscious, at least for many of them, that they really are not aware of it. This health care reform "victory"--such as it is--for President Obama's administration is really symbolic of what these people fear the most, HIS POWER!! Even for the so called "white liberals," who mainly voted for him because they didn't want to be viewed as, GULP, GULP, racist--shhh, whisper it-- are not/did not truly have the President's back during his struggle for health care reform because they, too, feared THE POWER! I don't know what anyone thought when he started trying to implement every thing he said he would do if he was elected President--I know that is why I voted for him. Did they really think he would just be a "pretty faced, nice little colored boy" fronting as President to make America look non-racist, and only pretend to bring about change while at the same time maintain the status quo of white supremacy? I hope they think again, because change is comming, it is serious and it is unstoppable!

Again, thanks Molly, for telling it like it is. Don't let nobody turn you 'round. A Luta Continua!!

Jacqui Wade
12:28 PM on 03/29/2010
Excellent analogy between colicky infants and tea party/right wing reactions to Health Care Reform. As Frank Rich recently said in his NYT article, some of this is really about racism and white men and women fearing the loss of their privileged status in America.
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Mark Olmsted
essayist, blogger, activist
10:45 AM on 03/29/2010
Funny that the colicky baby metaophor should be so apt when the average tea partier is a white male north of 50. Since neither seem amenable to any form of reasoning, we just have to wait until they grow out of it.
09:21 AM on 03/29/2010
I have long thought that trying to work with Tea Party folks was very much like attempts at reasoning with teens.

There is a frantic state of mind that reasons with shouting and even hitting when not getting their way. In Nashville a guy was picking up his daughter when an SUV pulled up behind him. The SUV driver pointed angrily at the car guy's Obama bumper sticker then slammed into it twice. I fear that's the new etiquette in making conversation.
02:39 AM on 03/29/2010
A very apt analogy and an incisive analysis!

Kudos to you, Ms. Secours!
12:30 AM on 03/29/2010
What a very good article, Molly. Yes fear and confusion does give colicky unpredictable behavior. Someone has to be the grown-up and calmly proceed for the good of all.
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Mor-a-Les
01:09 AM on 03/29/2010
Please sign petition to boycott Sarah Palin's show on the discovery channel http://www.thepetitionsite.com/21/boycott-the-discovery-channel-networks
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Puller58
Man of Mystery
10:27 PM on 03/28/2010
All you're getting from the Tea Parties is the standard reactionary viewpoint of the Far Right. But let's not pat ourselves on the back for this silly bill. There's no guarantee that people will find anything useful in it as it is currently laid out, and the Tea Party crowd is angry enough to go out in November and vote in droves. Dems and Indies may find it hard to stomach unemployment and related economic adversity after watching all the attention on this insurance backed swindle. They might stay home.
10:19 PM on 03/28/2010
How about an article showing the tea partiers in one of the stages of mourning....the death of the GOP.
01:47 AM on 03/29/2010
That sounds wonderful and at the same time like a pipe dream, sadly.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Carol Snow
09:43 PM on 03/28/2010
Working with mom's and their newborns, plus having two children of my own, I have a great deal of experience with working with colicky infants. With that I would add that because there are numerous reasons for the infants to cry, I am not an expert on this ordeal. In fact, the older I get, the less patience I have with the noise... However, I have heard that one of the major causes of colic has to do with digestion, in other words, it could be gas which is what all of this shrieking, hollering, spitting, name calling is about.... GAS, provided by the corporations that supply it & produce these outraged individuals, DICK ARMEY being one of those corporate personalities. Most of these people have not read the bill that they have been protesting against. Numerous of the people are probably receiving government assistance. I have heard them complain about Obama making the US a socialist country, when I would dare to say that ALL of them have benefited by and large by SOCIALIST PROGRAMS. I know that day they made use of at least ONE "socialized program" because they got to the nation's capitol by way of our lovely transportation system called roads and highways.. Tea Party people, all together now, say it, "Thank you socialized programs!"
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LMPE
I connect the most dissimilar things
08:10 PM on 03/28/2010
The Tea Parties were a corporate-backed movement anyway.
07:45 AM on 03/31/2010
"Are." The tantrum is not over yet.