On Choosing Clinton or Obama

Read more Super Tuesday coverage on HuffPost

It is election day and I am, improbably, still on the fence. This is really not good. I know. As my Republican family would wearily tell you, it is also quite uncharacteristic. For most of my life I have had fierce opinions about politics, had no trouble declaring my unequivocal love for a candidate or coming to blows on their behalf.

OK, John Kerry was an exception. His memorably stupid stunt to pass himself off as some kind of hunter and his infuriatingly passive response to the Swift Boat attacks did give me pause in the voting booth. And I have never forgiven him for not insisting on a recount in Ohio. For this we got four more years of George Bush.

But this primary day is different. This morning I feel like a high school girl whose date got the stomach flu the night before the prom. You see, my guy was John Edwards. And like most of his supporters I didn't want anyone else, could not see myself cozying up to any other date. So now I am faced with a quandary: Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama?

Like most Americans today, I have never felt my vote more important. Never in my life did I expect to have such a glorious choice: between a smart pragmatic woman with an impressive life story and a desire to do good, and a smart visionary black man with an impressive life story and a belief he can make us heal. As Hillary said with obvious delight at the last Democratic debate, comparing the two of them to their white-bread Republican rivals, "Look at us, we are not more of the same. And we will change this country!"

She is right, of course. And that's what makes it so hard.

On policy they really aren't that different. Both have their weaknesses and strengths. Hillary's healthcare plan is far better, more comprehensive and thought-out. Barack's better on ethics reform, going after lobbyists, and cleaning up Washington. Both are committed to getting us out of Iraq. But this is where Hillary could lose me: I still can't get over her vote to authorize the war, over her equally hawkish vote on Iran.

So why can't I decide? Part of my dilemma is I am caught between generations, the past and the future. Hillary could be my wise older sister, Barack my idealistic younger brother. Like me, my mother-in-law has waited her entire life for a woman president. When I asked her over lunch two weeks ago who she was voting for, she put down her turkey burger and looked at me like I was Mitt Romney. "Why, Hillary of course. Aren't you?"

Then there is my 15-year-old daughter, who adores her grandmother but like millions of young people tilt toward hope and possibility, the excitement of change. "I think you should vote for Obama," she said to me this morning, as I was driving her to school.

In the end it will be partly my head, but mostly my heart, that decides when I enter the voting booth.

A few nights ago I dropped by the Obama campaign office in Pasadena, a shabby narrow storefront next to a hair salon and a Container store. The space and and everything in it -- desks, computers, printers, tables, old sofas, cases of bottled water -- had been donated, I was told. The first thing I noticed was the diversity in the room: college students, working people, middle-aged artists, Latino, black, white. One of the volunteers I talked to, a sunny 24-year-old graduate of Duke University named Matt, typified the Obama craze. I don't think he stopped grinning the whole ten minutes we were talking. He told me he fell in love with Obama during his legendary convention speech in 2004.

That night about two dozen volunteers were working the phones, speaking in Spanish, Armenian, and Chinese, trying to nail down supporters. A big piece of butcher paper tacked on the wall had January 26th scrawled on it and the number 220,000! with an exclamation point after it.

This was the number of calls volunteers made in California that day on behalf of Obama. They had surpassed their goal by 100,000.

Maybe hope is not such a fuzzy thing.

Read more Super Tuesday coverage on HuffPost

Comments

[jdm58]

There is a joke in France that even when signaling left, people will turn right. No matter how strong the pull seems to be to vote for a liberal or progressive, this country still goes towards the right, and for Dems, that means "centrist". Many on Huffpo claimed to support Kucinich, yet he received very few votes, and even less money. Edwards had more support, but eventually the lack of votes and money got him too. Now our vote is being marginalized even further into gender and racial preference. The final analysis, if the French are right, is that we'll end up with whomever is least scarey to those on the far right.

[HighBeam]

If Sen. Clinton were to win the blue states that she already had, those that she won tonight and holds Ill. and Con., she would win the Presidency in Nov.

[bobdob]

Obama KILLED tonight. It was only a few months ago that he was 30 points behind in the polls and Hillary was the presumptive nominee. Just now, Obama won Missouri. This is a reflection of how he will do in the national elections. Hillary has been riding on her name recognition and her phony claim of "35 years" of experience. Obama has been fighting like a champ for every single vote. As the campaign season progresses, Obama will pull farther and farther ahead. Within a month or so, Obama will have taken the lead. When Obama wins Ohio, it will be all over for Hillary.

Hillary is getting money from all the big campaign donors (she recently set a record for contributions from lobbyists--see http://www.capitaleye.org/inside.asp?ID=332). But Hillary is hitting the legal limits as far as her campaign donors are concerned. Obama, on the other hand, has potentially tens of millions left to go, since his campaign has been financed largely by small donors. Last month alone, Hillary raised 18.5 million less than Barack.

After the Super Tuesday votes were counted, Hillary got 49% of the vote vs. 48% for Obama.

Like I said, Obama KILLED tonight. He's gonna be our next president. Deal.

[jane1]

It has to be Hillary if the Democrats want a win in November. If it wasn't clear before Super Tuesday, if obviously is now. Most Obama's wins were in RED states. NO, this absolutely does not mean he can win those states in the general. These states ALWAYS go REPUBLICAN in the general. In the last 8 elections cycles the Dems have only won two of them, each during a different election. These states will remain RED. Hope and change are nice, but elections need to be WON FIRST. Hillary will bring about change and certainly better change than McCain. However, be logical about this people, please. Obama will not win in a general election, not yet, NOT NOW. Hope all you want, but start doing some critical, objective thinking along the way to this election.

[unitron]

In some states Edwards seems to be picking up a greater percentage of Democratic votes than Ron Paul is getting of Republican votes. He may not be out after all.

[pablito]

Why choose today? Edwards was still on my ballot in NJ, so I voted for him.

[research]

Not much difference. I'll probably vote for Kucinich.

[mclarke15]

It's time for Obama to make the right choice: to choose patience over impudence; to choose humility over ambition. After eight years as vice president, he'll have complete and unequivocal support for his Presidential campaign. Because he'll have gained global experience and wisdom by the fistful. This is not 1960. The world is a subtle and dangerous place. We don't need another rookie with rousing rhetoric. We need wisdom and the experience to navigate the nuances - to hear the real questions being asked by and of this country, not just the contradictions within public comments. Clinton/Obama '08 mobilizes women and minorities. It mobilizes the establishment and the next generation. It unites the experience of the past with enthusiasm for the future. It is the only ticket that beats the Republicans.

[Egghead]

I voted for Obama, but he wouldn't have been my first choice either. I decided early last week that I'd vote for Edwards if he were still a viable candidate, and if not, I would vote for Obama.

I supported Howard Dean, and I've had enough of the "s/he's so electable, s/he's so inevitable" garbage. I voted for Dean even when he was out and now he is the DNC chairman instead of Terry McAuliffe, and now we have a majority in Congress, Q very much.

I'd prefer Hillary not to be the candidate, but of course I'll support her. However, I wouldn't blame Edwards supporters for voting for him anyway. That, and giving money, is the only way to make it clear to party leaders that those issues matter to you.

The only problem with Edwards being Veep is that he's much too good for the job. I'd prefer for him to have a good Cabinet post where he could really clean house.

[texanna]

I was glad to see this post tonight as I sat down to watch the election coverage and saddened that John Edwards wasn't going to be part of it. I just couldn't bring myself to vote today as I really don't want to vote for either of these two people. John Edwards was my guy, and I haven't gotten over his withdrawal. Maybe by the time we get to the general I'll be able to develop some enthusiasm, because lord knows I would really love to have some passion about the Democratic candidate.

[jennbeez]

Mona, are you at least going to tell us who you finally decided for? I don't think there's any such thing as a secret ballot on HuffingtonPost. At least, I haven't noticed too many people keeping their preference a secret. Not even the 5 republicans who post here. I took a survey. It was 1 Romney, 4 McCain...

[Whatsleft1]

As I first listened to the debates I thought that if there was a black, southern woman to vote for, my decision would be easier. Alas, Barbra Jordan is gone.
Yes Sen. Obama can give a good speech. So did Prs. Bush after 911, probably the the best of his life. Then we invaded the wrong country.
But what an opportunity for us all. To have to choose between the first woman canidate and the first African American. We dems should all be proud of this. It's not as if you'd see this in the other party.

[DemandTruth]

Hey, just a thought to all us Edwards supporters out there: Consider for one moment ALL the new lovely unaccountable powers Cheney has bestowed upon the office of the Vice President. What would y'all say to a "Draft John Edwards as the People's Vice President" movement? He could win lots of votes for the Presidential candidate, plus do a lot of good as the Vice President of the People. Do any of you think that would be any good? Considering Kerry's missteps and weakness in 04, I don't think Edwards would be too eager to run as VP again, but what are the other options? Do you think he'd be better for us as AG or as VP? And who do you think should be on the ticket with him? My answer is Obama, what's your take?

[TBS]

Today I cast my vote for John Edwards as a way of thanking him for speaking truthfully throughout his campaign, and to thank his gracious wife for being an inspiration to us all.

In November I'll support the Democratic nominee, but every once in a while it feels right to vote for who you wanted to, not who you feel you have to.

[Neaguy]

Clinton or Obama? Which one is against nuclear power? Neither. Well, let's try another issue.
Which one is going for single payer? Neither? Okay let's try another issue.

Which one is going to bring America's empire home? Neither? Okay. Let's move to another key voting issue.

Which one is for fair trade? Oh, they're both against it? Okay. How about something else?

Do I need to go on?

They're political twins.

I'm not voting for American Idol; not for a rock star; not for someone who makes me feel good or gives me some undefined mental state.

So, I have to vote for neither.

In Wisconsin on Feb. 19, I'll vote for the only candidate who could have brought us actual change in the way Washington does business: John Edwards.