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Mona Gable

Mona Gable

Posted: September 5, 2008 05:50 PM

The Odd Couple: John McCain and Sarah Palin


John McCain sure looked tired during his acceptance speech last night. And I don't just mean the bags under his eyes or the lackluster delivery or how he couldn't wait to get off the stage. Cindy was beaming (an aside here: did you see how happy she was the night before holding baby Trig while mom gleefully blasted away at Obama, like he was so many caribou?) but McCain just looked sour. Talk about not enjoying the moment! He'd finally achieved his years-long quest to be the Republican nominee for president, but he was as deflated as a popped balloon.

Maybe McCain should start taking cues from Eckhart Tolle instead of Karl Rove?

He didn't have anything new to say, either, despite his baffling vow to end the bickering in Washington and work with those do-nothing Democrats to get things done for the American people. Like cut taxes for rich folks, make the middle-class pay for health care they can't afford now, spend billions more on defense, and drill, baby, drill! Now that's a breath of fresh Alaska air, isn't it?

Did McCain forget which party's been in charge the last eight years? (News flash: it starts with an R). A time during which the economy has tanked, we got mired in an expensive needless war, oil prices have skyrocketed, unemployment has soared and millions of Americans have lost their homes to shady loans. Not to mention the untold Iraq war vets who've returned home with PTSD or brain injuries or without their legs. Where was the maverick then? Sleeping in Sedona?

But that's all water under the Bridge to Nowhere, right? (Sorry, I couldn't resist.) And McCain told the nation that he wants to play nice now, to change the culture of Washington. He might want to run that by his running mate, whose take-no-prisoners approach to governing might not mesh well with that. Palin, who recently bragged to the New Yorker that she hasn't talked with the head of Alaska's Republican Party since she got elected governor, is actually proud of not getting along with other politicians! (I know I'm not supposed to mention the beauty pageant, but how did she ever win "Miss Congeniality?") They don't call her Sarah Barracuda for nothing. (Living in the lower 48 on one of those elitist coasts, I'm wondering if "Sarah The Great White" might be a better fit?)

Shortly after she became mayor of Wasilla, she fired most of the department heads, including the police chief who helped get her elected, which led to a brief recall effort. Later Palin tried to fire the town librarian when she wouldn't ban certain books the mayor deemed objectionable. But she backed off when people rallied against her. She didn't even back her own mother-in-law, a Democrat, when she ran for mayor after Palin was termed out. Nice!

She also parts with McCain on some pretty fundamental (fundamentalist?) issues. Like teaching creationism in the public schools, exceptions for abortion, global warming, and drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. But perhaps the most striking difference is their approach to earmarks. He hates them, she loves them. In fact, as mayor of tiny Wasilla, Palin hired a private lobbyist and sucked $27 million from taxpayers in the lower 48 for her pet projects. (She also left Wasilla $20 million in debt. But no matter. There's oil under those polar bears. And a $30 billion gas pipeline that God is very into.) Some of those very same projects, strangely, were dinged by McCain.

Pretty cool for the hottest governor from the coolest state! As those buttons they were handing out at the convention trilled. Now that's not sexist, is it?

I know we're not supposed to mention her qualifications, or lack thereof, to be VP. Because that would be sexist. Speaking of Palin (though I do so at apparent professional risk since she has been declared off-limits to the media, unless it involves fawning over her ability to read a teleprompter and make a Harvard Law graduate, constitutional law scholar, accomplished senator, brilliant campaigner--a politician Carolyn Kennedy has famously likened to her beloved father and who actually writes his own speeches--sound like rotten moose stew), she certainly can smile pretty while lying through her teeth. (That plane she sold on Ebay? She didn't.)

Is this a skill she developed hopscotching from one of five or six colleges to the next, eventually earning a degree at the University of Idaho? Or later as governor, when she whipped the good 'ole boys in Alaskan politics? And got oil giant BP to sponsor her inaguration?

"I can't wait to show Sarah Palin around Washington!" McCain gushed during one of the few lively moments of his speech.

News flash: I don't think Sarah Barracuda needs a tour. But you guys should probably have a talk.

Follow Mona Gable on Twitter: www.twitter.com/monalg

 
 
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06:44 PM on 09/06/2008
NPR reported the following exaggerations in Palin's RNC speech:

- She falsely claimed Obama didn't author major legislation, he did.

- She falsely accused Obama of raising a long list of taxes

- She claims she was responsible for squelching the bridge to nowhere but Congress squelched it

- She gave the impression the jet was sold on EBay. It was sold by an aircraft broker OFF EBay.
06:38 PM on 09/06/2008
Excellent article, Mona. Well written. I'm very impressed. You summed up the case against McCain/Palin beautifully. Thank you.
04:55 PM on 09/06/2008
In the words of Bill Mayer is this a running mate or mid-life crisis?
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Bobrobert
Go God... Jesus rocks... the Spirit is very cool..
04:39 PM on 09/06/2008
John (McCain) Bush and Sarah (Palin) Bush will get along just fine.

Remember the reason John Bush voted with President Bush 90% of the time is that he cannot define honor.

Sarah Bush supports President Bush and Senator (what's his name Bush) being investigated on ethics violations.

Sarah Bush is sweet and a great mother.

Funny - President Bush is unethical - Sarah (Palin) Bush is unethical - John (MCCain) Bush is unethical - Senator (what's his name) Bush is unethical - at least the Bush mofia sticks together like glue during all the investigation on them for ethics violations.
04:18 PM on 09/06/2008
Good article. Palin will get along fine with McCain/Bush/Cheny/Rove crowd. I am not sure who lies and distorts more...but she sure is a natural at it. Her speech garnished one of the longest responses on factcheck.org. WOW!!!!
01:42 PM on 09/06/2008
Can you imagine for one second if Sarah Palin was a black man or an older white woman or even a middle age man? This would not be happening. She's where she is because she's a pretty and youngish Christian white woman. who could be frightened of her? I am!
12:38 PM on 09/06/2008
OK, Mona, I'll bite.

Who is Eckhart Tolle?
10:58 AM on 09/06/2008
Let's face it...O needs to get rid of Biden before it is too late. The ticket needs someone with some executive experience. There is no way the country is going to elect two senators who have never had real jobs before. I don't know who...but O needs someone to help.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Amalek
Highly decorated HP warrior
11:29 AM on 09/06/2008
I think people are up a crick without a paddle then. Nobody on either ticket has any real executive experience. Then again, the last time we tried the MBA president approach it did not work out so good.

The president is a policy job, not a management job. More like Chairman of the Board than CEO. He hires the management guys.
12:38 PM on 09/06/2008
Silly. The polls show Biden is seen as far more qualified than Palin.
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Freesia2
I'm nicer than I appear in print. :-)
10:51 AM on 09/06/2008
Sarah would take to Washington like the proverbial fish to water. Or I guess that would be barracuda to water. And we'll all just be chum.



Obama/Biden '08
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TheIndependenceParty
Cranky yankee and a rehabilitated ex-Republican
10:59 AM on 09/06/2008
The stinkiest, nastiest fish I ever caught was a barracuda! No lie!
11:52 AM on 09/06/2008
And known for being poisonous........
10:49 AM on 09/06/2008
I can't wait for the mini-series which will include the Oprah interview after she looses the election.
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TheIndependenceParty
Cranky yankee and a rehabilitated ex-Republican
10:47 AM on 09/06/2008
Like most cities I have traveled to in my life, ... I recognize some parts of DC as familiar, other parts less so. I'm sure Sarah will get her bearings, and recall earlier visits if she comes into town along K Street!
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10:45 AM on 09/06/2008
"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno. Thats John McCain's joke, told at a republican fund raiser in 1998. Why is the the children of Sara Palin's off limits.I guess the dems play by a different set of rules. Good for you Borack.
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indalay
10:39 AM on 09/06/2008
That "Miss Congeniality" thing that doesn't seem to fit Governor Cheney-with-lipstick? It's another lie, of course. (She's been making stuff up for a long time now...)
10:36 AM on 09/06/2008
She is not nothing, nowhere. 2012 will have whatever is deemed new then.

She thinks she's playing, but she's getting played. She's right that she detects she's on a playing field, but that's about it.
10:30 AM on 09/06/2008
In November 2008, John McCain was asked to return to his original place of residence
That request applied to his Beer Heiress Wife
Deep down, John knew the voters were right
But he also knew that he could not live in obscurity

With no place else to go
He appeared at the home of his former enemy, Hillary Clinton
Several months earlier
The voters had thrown her out
Requesting that she never return

Can two rejected national candidates share an apartment without driving each other crazy?

(Cue Theme)