Why Hillary Lost My Daughter and Me

This morning I asked my 15-year-old daughter what she didn't like about Hillary Clinton.

"I mean at the beginning, before she started going negative and attacking Barack Obama," I said, trying to rewind history.

My daughter was sitting at the kitchen table, where thousands of impassioned conversations in America have taken place last year about the historic possibility of the first female president. She didn't have much trouble answering. Not simply because she's a thoughtful young woman, an unabashed feminist, who relishes a good political argument as much as her mother.

Compared with that other historic candidate, for her there was no contest. "I didn't find her inspirational at all," she said flatly of Clinton.

As for Barack Obama, she heard in his soothing voice, his brilliant speeches, his very demeanor, the language of her generation. The language of inclusion and hope. "He talks about change, and I believe him," my daughter said, her face lighting up.

We've heard a lot about the power of inspiration during this long heated race. From the beginning Hillary was roundly dismissive of such talk. Oh, those naïve young people! she condescended. Those starry-eyed kids drinking the Obama punch! Maybe if she had been less tone-deaf, less a political weathervane changing her message and her campaign staff (remember Clinton loyalist Patti Solis Doyle?) almost as often as her suits, Hillary might not have caused such angst and handwringing among feminists. Even as older women and feminists icons like Gloria Steinem rallied to her, many young women found her stuffy, rigid, imperious -- a throwback to establishment politics.

As Obama supporter Courtney Martin wrote on Glamour magazine's blog last month about part of her discomfort with Hillary: "She reminds me of being scolded by my mother."

Obama's ability to inspire young people is precisely what has energized my daughter, whose enduring memory of the presidency has been the nightmarish Bush years. She doesn't feel conflicted in the least. And it's hard for me to blame her. This is why the daughters of Caroline Kennedy and Claire McCaskill -- hardly feminist "traitors" as Hillary defectors have been so absurdly called -- were able to persuade their politically savvy mothers to come out for Obama. His promise of change.

Unlike my daughter, part of me feels sad for Clinton as her campaign sputters to an end. Part of me wanted her to succeed. Not because I believed her to be "ready on Day One" to use her embarrassingly hackneyed claim. Or because of her tireless efforts to reform health care, another tragic failure of the Bush years. Or because she embodied for me all the times I had seen women earn less for doing the same job as men. A reality that continues to afflict working women in this country with little progress in sight. My reasons are purely emotional. I have friends who believed in Hillary. I understand their disappointment.

If only she had been the right woman at the right time. And this is what it comes down to, not only for my daughter but for millions of young, middle-aged and older women in America. They placed their faith in Clinton's candidacy, only to find her wanting. Perhaps it was partly our fault. We saw in her defeat in Iowa, in her victories in New Hampshire and Pennsylvania, and now tonight surely in West Virginia, a symbol of what women had fought for - -the right to not just sit at the table but to actually lead.

But mostly I feel sad for her female supporters, the ones I saw last night standing behind her at a rally in West Virginia. The elderly women gamely waving their Hillary signs before the TV cameras cut away. Trying to put on a good front. Knowing that their dream is about to die.

Comments

[troothseeker]

I am an African American and support Obama because Ron Paul is no longer in the running. I am not supporting him because he is Black but because I believe he will try to bring this nation together and bring us higher regard in the international theater thus making us better leaders/participants. Hillary and the Republican talking heads are divisive and destructive and are making millions off the simple minded WWC's. Some WWC's supporting Hillary will not support Obama,who has similar if not more realistic , progressive ideas than Hillary, because he is Black err Muslim or whatever. The Blacks who were in Hillary's camp last year and Bill's and other White candidates in the past prove they will vote for a white candidate who they believe in but Hillary's supporters never have and never will support a Black candidate even if Ronald Reagan was reincarnated as a Black Man. Hillary and Bill are obsessed with power and she may need to be President to set up a pardon in regard to the Paul vs Clinton if criminal convictions are pending. Anyway, how can Bill live in the White House or visit since he is a convicted felon? What experience does Hillary have? Did not the Clinton's allow Loral Corp to sell multi-staging rocket technology to China for satellites so now China has missile strike capabilities? I think they were paid on that deal. Have the lives of the WWC improved since the Bush's and Bill?

[kathyhussien]

watch out for a Hillary/Republican slime machine to start with the lies about Obama, it coming they keep referring to an October surprise. And additionally, why is it she says she is in this just in case something happens, I think they will drum up something to changed the minds of voters, to get them over to her. Watch out it's coming.

[mesuki]

Hillary Clinton has to be the most divisive woman in politics...For such a smart woman,did she really think that she could run such a vicious and nasty campaign against her fellow democrat and get away with it? She has proven to me that just because a person is smart doesn't mean you have God given comon sense.She would have done much better by running a clean campaign and picking up Obama when he was down instead of kicking him.Hillary looks so pathetic right now as she continues to fight this losing battle,and worst of all are her entourage that continues to feed her illusions. As a 49 year old woman I would've loved to vote for the first woman president,but I can't in good conscience give her my vote. She's put women in a bad light,and I'm embarassed by her behavior.

[Quipman]

I did not vote for Hillary Clinton based on the fact that I believed that her vote for war was strictly based on her positioning herself to run for president. She did not want the Republicans to be able to say she was weak on defense. Thus I really do feel she voted to send our love ones to war based on her own personal ambitions. But Hillary's biggest mistake was not having her finger on the pulse of the nation. Not only do I feel that Hillary Clinton has been the wrong woman at this time but the wrong candidate for president at this point and time in history. Great post Mona Gable, one that should be read by everyone.

[McPander]

You seem to believe that this is a fight for the nominee when it is not. This is a fight for control of the party.
You think its an accident that democrats have lost the election for the president the last two times.
Bill Clinton and the Clintonites have been leading the party for the past 8 years.
Just ask a few simple questions.
When do you think the Clinton's decided that HRC would run for President in 2008? 1972
Would that have been possible if Al Gore had won in 2000? no
Did Bill Clinton fight as hard for Al Gore as he has for his wife? no
Would that have been possible if John Kerry had won in 2004? no
Did Bill Clinton fight as hard for John Kerry as he has for his wife? no
Who was head of the DNC in 2004? Terry M.
Who's supporters are thick throughout the MSM? Clintonites
Why have so many longtime supporters turned on them? because they know they are corrupt

Sometimes you have to step back and look at all the peaces to see a puzzle.
This fight isn't for the nominee, this fight is for the leadership of the party.

[IndependentAllways]

Hillary lost me when SHE MOCKED THE HOPE OF A NEW GENERATION with her "celestial beings will come down etc" bit. She sounded like a mother telling her children "you can't do this or you can't dream, life is a bitch so suck it up and stop being naive". Look at History, it is allways the young that lead the way into a new era. There is no exception to this rule. And it is allways the old who are set in their ways who go kicking and screaming.

[XME]

I have to agree with you very much. I've never been a big fan of hers, and can't stand Bill (former president or not, he's a dirtbag and everyone seems to ignore that), but that moment when she mocked him really did it for me to. The bottom line is that it may come across as naive, but the truth is that younger generations are still hopeful! She was basically telling all of those young hopeful people who've been inspired to get involved for the first time that they were naive and stupid for being inspired and believing that change was possible. Is it any wonder that they don't want anything to do with politics? Obama may not have more experience than McCain with some things, but I've supported him because I believe that inspiring people is VERY important, getting people to CARE is very important, and Clinton pretty much told all of those people that they were kidding themselves, and telling them that is telling them not to care or try to change things.

[bernie12]

So according to this logic, we can't elect a person who's "stuffy, rigid and imperious" - same crap we said about al gore. we'd be living in a better world today if we had the foresight to vote for someone who seemed stiff and not inspirational. so go ahead and go with the guy with the big smile who says he's gonna unite us all. that's so hip, that's so cool. thats so inspirational.

[WTB]

You said it, Bernie. Skip over the person who knows what to do, how to do it"and the energy to do it!"for the new, low-mileage model that makes us feel so darn good about the future and ourselves.

[NorVaGal]

Knows what to do? As in voting for the Iraq war? How to do it? As in refusing to admit to collosal mistakes-- like the Iraq invasion and Iran war-mongering? The energy to do what? Tear the Dem party apart for her own selfish goals? Voters can opt for a change in old political tactics and the hope of building new coalitions for peace and unity. The Clintons and Bushes have had their "turn". Now our country needs new faces and ideas. Just look at LA and MS GOP upsets in the last weeks. Obama WILL prevail.

[blytzd]

A leader is someone with a good attitude that empowers people not one whom thinks they know it all. I see no positive attitude in Hillary and I see no credentials that make her any better than Obama. She was a failure as a first lady, a failure as a wife, and her Senate tenure has nothing grand to speak of. She even has the gall to reject the advice of experts... sounds like our current administration.

And comparing Al Gore to hillary is a real joke. Al Gore has actually empowered people to do good and exhibits more leadership qualities than Hillary ever will. Al Gore also has respect for expert opinion.

[JJeff88]

Great thread.

- Before this primary campaign heated up, I laid out a job description for "who would make the ideal president." Near the top of my list (which included Competence, Open-mindness,etc.)was: "Leadership (i.e. showing the way and inspire people to follow). Democracy depends on citizen participation and involvement; yet no one has really challenged us since JFK. Until Obama.

- How tragic would it be if we finally elected the first woman to lead our country and she turned out to be a collossal flop?

- "Scolding mamas" aren't necessarily bad- except that a sizable number of voters (who probably tell the pollsters: "I'm not sure what it is, but I just don't like her") may have issues dealing with overbearing mothers or mother-figures. Fair or unfair - it's a reality.

- One thing about the long primary process is that we get to know each candidate better and get answers to what should be the ultimate question: "What will each of these people be like as president? What will their presidencies be like?" I'm beginning to get a sense of Barack and McCain. But it's hard to be sure which Hillary we'll be getting - Shrill Hillary? Gracious Hillary? Condescending Hillary? Witty Hillary? Experienced Hillary? Ruthless Hillary? Hillary the Fighter? Hillary the Crier? The "Shame on You" Hillary? Beer Drinking Hillary? Wellesely Hillary? Beats me.

[Peddler]

The time will come and their will be a female President........Hillary is not the one.........nor is the time right.......it culd have been, but you can't continue to live in the past........one cannot conduct the Nation business with the prices of yesterday. Maybe we placed to much in Hillary...........and not ourselves........America wants change.........but will seldom deviate from the standards of old dynasties. We want our cake and eat it too.......America can't have it both ways.......if we want change then the American are going to have to "vote for change;".........and that is what Obama is offering.......we either make the major step to execute........or remain in the status quo and complain.

[Goldie9]

Maybe if Hillary had showed some real leadership in the Senate back in October 2002 -- instead of voting for the invasion of Iraq... Maybe if Hillary had divorced Bill back in 2000, and won her NY Senate seat on her own merits instead riding on Bill's political coattails... Maybe if the Clintons did not continue to insult 50% of Dem voters who were not voting for them during the primaries and caucuses...

[Marmann]

It's the right time. She's just not the right woman.

[N8Ma]

I agree.

[zanngra]

To Bauersox. You state in one of your posts you have no use for Ayers and others like him. You must have been really upset when Bill Clinton pardoned 2 of the weatherman then. Right?

[kellygrrrl]

TO "bauersox"
"Why don't you explain why you think it was "truly her own opinion,"

sad that you are not exposed to self-aware thinking young people.
my daughter has me, yes, but she also has a father who is Jewish and Republican.
she has friends of every race and religion and economic level.
she spent her spring break in WA DC with kids her age who are very interested and informed.
she was backing Obama even before I was.

If you have not had the pleasure of meeting some of these bright young up-and-coming kids, you are really missing out!

[elion10]

What I want to know is where were all these bright kids to elect Kerry ? Or does it take a magnetic personality to bring out their passion for doing good, making change?

[keriheb]

The discussion about Clinton "knee capping" Obama started some time ago. Many people read the article with some reservation but now no longer have any. While the "knee capping" discussion was put on hold with the rationale Clinton still had a chance, albeit a small one, that chance no longer exists.

Considering the party big wigs have declined to publically rebuke Clinton many theories have been forwarded. The one thing not discussed is the notion this is an opportunity to rid the party of the Clinton's in the future and send them into a political limbo. The Republicans will never accept Hillary and the Democrats will have so much disdain for Hillary they will be able to retire that brand name into obscurity.

The bellowing you are hearing from Hillary is her death howl. What is sad is that she does not even know it. Hillary is so narcissistic, she is unaware the image she is looking at is but a nebula of a once bright star!

[McPander]

I will stick my neck out here. I am a man that is going to post. I find this the most comforting post i have read. I thank all of you for expressing your feelings here. You have refreshed my belief that we do need a woman president. I am just afraid that HRC is not that woman.
In my skewed opinion HRC runs from all the great attributes that a woman can bring to the presidency. I feel she would spend the next 4 tears trying to prove that she is tough enough and not trying to heal with compassion.
Thats my two cents.