Keep your G-Strings on (and Everything Else)

06/27/2011 01:58 pm ET | Updated Aug 24, 2011

KEEP YOUR PANTIES ON (and everything else)

MY good friend is an extremely successful "Love-Coach". She teaches women how to flirt, make contact, dress sexy (but not slutty) and play their cards right - so they snag the guy and hopefully walk down the aisle with him.

She's good at it. She has charm and wits, is eloquent, totally fearless and last, but certainly not least, she's a knockout. She's gorgeous, vivacious, beautiful, and sexy and knows how to dress in the most effective way that shows off her curves and makes it impossible not to be noticed by every man once she enters a room.

One of her loudest advice is: "Girls! Keep your G-Strings on!"

I am single after a very long monogamous (regrettably, on my side only) relationship and marriage. My best friend, another extremely attractive and charming beauty, signed me up for one of the more sincere and serious dating websites, even though I was not sure at the time, that I was ready to date. I still carried a ton of bitterness, anger and disappointment around and I wasn't about to let that go just yet.

But eventually, on my second try, I found myself excited about it and I discovered a lot of desirable and even hot and attractive men on this dating site. I've gone on 30 or 40 dates so far and I'm getting the hang of it. It's all about practice. I'm not nervous anymore and 99% of those dates are at least somewhat pleasant, even fun and entertaining.

Until recently, I would go on dates, chat and laugh and enjoy myself but then I'd go home and didn't feel the need to see the guy again.

No problem. Because what this practice has done for me, is that I'm now so well versed in the dating game, that I have lost my shyness and awkwardness and that makes me attractive to guys pretty much wherever I go. Now, I'm not a classical beauty or the kind of women who has to fight avalanches of men off with a stick. But from the reaction of men when I go out, I sometimes feel like I must be somewhat hot, because I meet men wherever I go. Since I'm still the same person I was a few months ago - except that I was lucky enough to find a surgeon who decided that my drooping eyelids compromised my peripheral vision and fixed that flaw for free through insurance - I credit the dating website with my new confidence.

But the one thing I realize, this being America and not Europe where I grew up, is that "Keep your G-String on" is way too liberal for what I'm looking for.

After a few dates with guys I had an immediate (and mostly sexual) attraction and connection that made my heart beat faster and caused me to throw my usual caution away, I want to warn all of you women who are looking for a real relationship.

I've kept my G-string on. But I allowed my momentary attraction to lead me into a few very sexually loaded situations that included intense kissing and - I admit it, a little bit more than just kissing. Nothing real serious, but still....making out and getting quite close has brought me to a few "feeling in love" moments. Damn those Oxytocin hormones!

And guess what?

In good old fashion and almost 50ies like reactions, the men I allowed to kiss and touch me in a more than a friendly "Good Bye" kiss at the door at the end of a date, they have not stayed around. Not for more than two or three dates at least.

Coincidence? I think not.

Bad Chemistry? Oh no!

After a few of those dates, where I was so sure that they would develop into something more, specially into what they claim in their profiles about really wanting to find "The One" for a long-term relationship, it was a surprise -- a quite painful surprise to be honest -- to not hear from them anymore.

Which given the facts that I'm quite attractive and certainly interesting, makes me wonder if the old rules still apply. Not more than a friendly kiss and no sexual favors of any kind, even if I keep my G-Strings on, any of that is too much if I want to develop a relationship.

In the modern dating world, we are still stuck in the 50s.

So, Girlfriends, don't get hot and heavy, no matter how big and sweet the temptation, no matter how "modern" the guy you're hitting it off so well might seem, DON'T!

The only guys who are still calling and begging for another date are the ones I kept at arm's length and gave the speech of "Six months of dating before any kind of sex".

All you hopeful dating-sisters, don't even think of G-strings (or Cosabella- and La Perla panties). If you want them to pursue you, keep it all on, including bras and too intense kisses, making out in your living room or outside the Dresden Room. Just say "no"!

Then and only then, they'll keep coming around for more.

In the end, It's a game with strict rules, like it or not.