THE BLOG
08/07/2014 06:01 pm ET | Updated Oct 07, 2014

Is It a Summer Fling or the Real Thing?

The weather lately has been bordering on autumnal, easing the transition from summer to the cooler days ahead. Although it is not hot and steamy outside, dating is certainly on the minds of singles since August is known as Romance Awareness month.

An important question for those who are in a relationship is how to determine if a summer courtship is short term or has the potential to go beyond the season. The good news on this subject is that according to a recent poll conducted by JDate, the majority of those questioned said they would rather be seeing someone than be single during the summer, countering the idea that the warm months are a time to just socialize and have fun. JDate also partnered with ChristianMingle on another study, revealing the key factors that positively influence the longevity of a romance which include, getting along with each other's friends, a mutual desire to be in a monogamous relationship, making the step to meet each other's families, shared interests, a good sense of humor and an attractive physical appearance. With all of this in mind, how does one determine if the person that you are with is a summer fling or a long term love? 

• Looking ahead: Summers tend to be packed with concerts, dinners and parties. With the cold weather and thoughts of hibernation in the future, is the calendar still loaded up with time together? Have your dates dwindled down or are plans in the works for a  shared Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday ? Make sure to be assertive about your intentions and wishes. 

• Tech Love: In the beginning stages of a new romance texts are abundant, flirty and seductive. Are you able to sustain fun and playful communication during the day or has contact become more infrequent? Have late night phone calls been replaced by a quick message or are you still virtually tucking each other in?

• Friends are the Focus:  Is the trend moving towards more time with friends or does your partner still desire lots of mono-mono moments? It is fine to have girls' night out and guys' bonding on the town, but if a relationship is important, there will be an emphasis on the time spent together as a couple. 

• Conversation: Is dialogue still free flowing with lots to share? A solid relationship centers around good communication. Listen to see if the person that you are dating is keeping you in the loop about work, family, friends, etc., as opposed to being kept on the sidelines on a need to know basis.

• Physical Connection: Sex certainly is a very important part of a relationship. Is the intimate bond between you growing? Do you both still possess that feeling of wanting to get the check in a hurry at the restaurant so you can run home and be together? The passion should still be hot, not stagnant.

• Games: A relationship that is moving forward does not involve game playing. Follow through is a must. If you say you are going to call, do so. Weekends, as well as any free time during the week, ought to be spent together. There should be no guessing as to where the other one is on a given Friday or Saturday night. Either the person that you are involved with wants to be with you and makes the relationship a priority or it is time to seek out someone who does.