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Monique Honaman Headshot

Are We Having Fun Yet?

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One of my favorite sounds in the world is the sound of a small child belly-laughing out loud. You can tell that sound is not fake, it's not rehearsed, it's not for show. Rather, it's the pure of heart, "I can't help but laugh out loud and squeal with delight" sound of someone who is having so much fun they can't stand it.

You don't hear adults let loose like that as much as kids do.

Dr. Stathas, a marriage and family therapist near Lake Oconee, Georgia, and founder of the Stathas Life Development Center, recently wrote a column about studies of contentment within marriage. He says that one of the "key factors that showed up for couples who still had a special relationship after many years was that the couple 'played' together well." He continues, "these couples made sure that fun was a part of their life on a regular basis."

Dr. Howard Markman, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver, has said, "The more you invest in fun and friendship and being there for your partner, the happier the relationship will get over time... the correlation between fun and marital happiness is high and significant."

Think about that: "the correlation between fun and marital happiness is high and significant."

Are you having fun? Are you part of a couple who has aged too fast and no longer allows yourself to have fun? Are you able to spontaneously do those things that can keep the romance and intimacy alive in your marriage? Can you come up with an idea of something fun to do within the context of your marriage or relationship this week?

I think one of my New Year's resolutions will be to make sure that I continue to ensure that fun exists within my marriage. Fun certainly ceased to exist within my first marriage. Is that one of the contributing reasons to my first marriage failing?

I laugh more now than I did before and I'm focused on making sure we continue to laugh and have fun together. We make time for things we both enjoy. We make it a priority to spend time or money on those things which we both enjoy and which we both consider fun.

Think of it this way: you can spend money on marriage counseling to try and heal the wounds that have crept in, or you can spend money on lift tickets and skis, or season tickets for your favorite sports team or theater, or plane tickets and tours in your favorite international city, or bowling lessons... whatever it is that you and your partner deem to be FUN! Just do it!

Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." Have you examined your life lately? What are you doing to keep the fun alive? What are you doing to stay young? Are you going through the same old daily grind or are you doing thing which you enjoy?