Many may be baffled by the current political debate about contraception, but for many women like me, these bishops and politicians may as well be sitting in my living room having a cup of coffee. This debate is personal and will impact the lives of real women and girls. Several decades ago I was a very scared and pregnant 16-year-old girl attending Catholic school. Although I was not Catholic, my grandmother, a devout Christian, thought a Catholic school would be a good place for me. As non-Catholics, my tuition was higher than it was for the Catholic kids. At 16 and pregnant, I didn't know much about my body, how it worked, or how to protect myself from pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. However, Sister Dorothy Elaine, the instructor of my religion class, taught me that sex before marriage was a sin, and that I should abstain until marriage. These religious ideas conflicted profoundly with the hormonal surges that were occurring in my developing body. I was a teenaged girl in the hood, with little parental guidance, little proper information, and firing hormones; a recipe for teenaged pregnancy.
Although there was some sex education taught at my school, it was usually provided by nuns who turn a bright beet red when attempting to explain an orgasm. Nearly everything I learned about sex, I learned through trial and error.
The pregnancy came as a surprise. Sharing a room with an aunt, I worked hard to conceal growing breasts, morning sickness, and weight gain. I was simply waiting for the perfect opportunity to skip school in order to have an abortion. This would not be easy, as the school was very strict, requiring a note from one's parents explaining an absence. If there was no note, a staff member would call the student's home. Food cravings, extreme fatigue, and weight gain were becoming increasingly impossible to hide. I was terrified of being pregnant. I was even more afraid of my family finding out.
I will never forget the morning I ate an entire bag of cherries before school, only to find myself in first period nauseous and unable to keep them down. Nervously, I sat at my desk as I listened to Sister Nancy give a lecture in history. Today I can only remember dashing out of class for the bathroom, and the taste of the cherries as they came up and out. The pressure to conceal the pregnancy was starting to get the best of me.
I had a friend drop me off at the clinic the morning of the abortion. I paid for the procedure through Medicare. The Medicare sticker that signified payment is imprinted in my mind. My final memory before being put to sleep was Annie Lennox's voice singing "Would I Lie to You?" coming from the nurses' radio. When I awoke, the pregnancy was no more, and I was deeply relieved. That afternoon I went home to sleep. My aunt and grandma returned home to find that I had not done any chores or homework. Needless to say, the rest of the day was hell to pay.
President Obama's recent mandate to have all employers provide a number of preventative health services, including free contraception to women, is a fundamental shift in women's health care for our nation. This shift will impact those girls and women who previously had limited access to care and services. The stance on contraception of by the Catholic Church, and the support for it shown by Newt Gingrich, John Boehner, and Rick Santorum, reek of entitlement and ignorance and denial of women's needs.
Finally, I find it highly insulting that an organization that has systematically worked to protect child rapists is able to hijack the conversation on contraception. Until the church has satisfactorily (according to the law) addressed each and every case of a child's sexual abuse by a member of the priesthood, I am one woman willing to tell the church to stay out of women's bedrooms and health concerns. You are not wanted here.
I see this debate as an opportunity for women to come out of the shadows and silence about our care and our natural desires for sexual freedom. The days of teaching our daughters to be ashamed of their sensuality are over. Religious organizations do not have the final word on our needs and behaviors, especially those like the Catholic Church, which is led by men who have sworn themselves to a life of celibacy. This is our opportunity to begin teaching ourselves and our daughters about the natural and organic call to sensuality and sex, which has historically been shrouded in shame and fear. Teaching our daughters to abstain from sex until marriage, without giving them information about their growing desire for sex and the science of reproduction, is foolish.
Thirty years later, I have no regrets because that experience served to teach me more about myself, the consequence of choices and the value of information. When I was 16, I didn't know how to love and accept my body and the changes that were occurring within me. I had been taught to reject myself, which resulted in years of sexual shame and promiscuity. I hope my experience can help other women, young and old, to awaken to our true value. This political debate about women's contraception is not occurring in a vacuum. There are thousands of women, like myself, who have been affected by this culture of ignorance and denial perpetuated by these Catholic bishops, their political supporters and women. This debate is so personal to every woman, it's as if they are having coffee in our living rooms discussing and deciding what is right and acceptable for us. It is important we put faces and real experiences to these conversations, so that we may begin choosing empowerment for ourselves. I believe that when women claim their power and begin accepting and loving themselves, these patronizing, misguided conversations will cease to occur.
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Dovid Efune: Jews Should Stand With Catholics in Contraception Battle
An excerpt from the e-mail: "The morning panel consisted of five male 'experts' falling over themselves to bash Obama's decision. During their testimony, a Republican Congressman likened the policy to a Stalinist plot to weaken America. ("Contraception Circus Reigns at Oversight Hearing, National Journal," February 16, 2012) And one of the panelists explained at length how a woman seeking birth control is akin to ordering a ham sandwich at a Kosher deli. ("Late Night: Jon Stewart mocks congressional birth control hearings," Los Angeles Times, February 21, 2012)
"The top Democrat on the committee tried to invite a local woman to speak. She wanted to tell the story of her 32-year old friend who developed ovarian cysts and was prescribed birth control pills to preserve her fertility. The Republican chairman wouldn't let her speak, because the young woman 'appears to have become energized over this issue,' and was not an 'appropriate' witness. ( "House Democrats Walk Out Of One-Sided Hearing On Contraception, Calling It An 'Autocratic Regime,'" Huffington Post, February 16, 2012)"
Lovely, don't you think?
Birth Control is better than the emotional rollercoaster of an abortion or the statistics about child maltreatment that results in death (2 of every 100,000 children was the victim of fatal treatment by their caregivers in 2003). Denying coverage for birth control does not stop people from having sex. I don’t see these men/clergy running out to adopt, feed, or otherwise protect children. Why do they care who gets birth control? I don’t believe the Bible speaks about birth control. The Church uses passages in the Bible and, as always, interprets them to their benefit.
Non-profit organizations, such as the Catholic Church and other churches “buy into” a group insurance plan, but more often than not, the employee pays the majority of the premium because the non-profit organization cannot fund their own insurance as large corporations have done for years. So, they should stay out of the benefit selection process when the selection of benefits discriminates against a person’s fundamental right to privacy.
That has NOTHING to do with secular rights because the Church does not punish in any secular sense.
So the essential question is NOT about the act of birth control but rather about who pays.
Now whether I agree or not the fact is that Government meddles in compensation issues -- The providing of contraception via employer paid health insurance is a form of compensation -- It follows that the Feds can meddle in what an employer paid plan includes.
The solution for the church and its Institutional arms to simply not provide health insurance in any form as compensation --
It is in the end a simple balance point.
I regret even more that your sorrow has somehow morphed into a hatred of the Catholic Church and moral truth. The true denial is that there are no consequences to sex outside of marriage.
Incidentally, since the mandate only applies to employees, it will not have any impact on young girls or 'all women'.
And God bless all the "powerless" women who are flexing their muscles and getting ready to take their revenge on the all male clergy who have had their way with "the weaker sex" for too many centuries.