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Morgan Guyton

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Pigs to the Lake: The Evangelical Exorcism

Posted: 10/18/2012 5:15 pm

In Mark 5, Jesus casts a legion of demons out of a man chained to a graveyard by sending them into a herd of pigs, who race with fury to a cliff and throw themselves in a lake. This event is a perfect metaphor for what is taking place in the American evangelical church. Evangelicals are having our eyes opened as God reveals the demons in our midst by casting them into pigs, who are racing off a cliff and making the reasonable Christians among us completely disgusted.

We have pastors burning Qurans and pastors protesting military funerals with "God hates fags" signs. The latest scandals include a lawsuit against evangelical behemoth Sovereign Grace Ministries for covering up pedophilia and the resignation of King's College president and renowned culture warrior Dinesh D'Souza, who wrote the book behind the scathing documentary Obama 2016, after D'Souza attended a family values conference with his mistress. As these scandals reveal the pigs among us, evangelicals in my generation are getting exorcised of the demons from our culture wars and gaining the courage to forge a new identity, unchained from the acrimonious partisanship that has poisoned our church for the past 30 years.

My own personal journey of exorcism seems like one which many other evangelicals in the "Blue Like Jazz" 30-something generation would identify with. Growing up as a moderate Southern Baptist, I was always bothered by fundamentalism, but I always assumed my discomfort was a reflection of my sinful rebelliousness. Yet cracks started to form in fundamentalism's fierce wall of infallibility. I remember when my mother was given a video tape talking about how Christian rock music was demonic, given the "proof" that Amy Grant had made a pagan sign with her hand during a concert -- "the sign of the moon" -- which was essentially a "Gnarly dude!" with her middle three fingers down and pinky and thumb raised. Then there was the video that let us know that AC/DC stood for Anti-Christ Devil's Children and KISS was Knights In Satan's Service. Though I wasn't sure, I suspected that "Highway to Hell" and "Hell's Bells," rather than being the representative samples of rock 'n' roll music they were presented to be in the videos were actually outliers.

When the '90s rolled around, I fell in love with the newly popular Rush Limbaugh, I think because he was essentially a 15-year-old boy in a grown man's body. I remember telling all the girls in ninth grade that they were feminazis (one of whom signed my yearbook "Queen of the Feminazis" with a smiley face). As the '90s went on and I kept listening to Rush, something started to feel uncomfortable in the back of my mind. There was such a pornographic delight that seemed to be at play among those around me who seemed to gobble up greedily all the delicious outrages of those amazingly awful Clintons.

When I went to college, I threw myself into several evangelical campus groups. After I got nominated for a leadership position in one of them, a rival said he would call me out publicly because he didn't think I took everything in the Bible literally. I was pretty devastated, but a major demon got exorcised my sophomore year when one of my roommates who was a hard-core Calvinist ran away from home, leaving a note that he hated everything and everyone at college. He was eventually found, he transferred to a Bible college, and I never saw him again. He was actually a sweet guy, and I hope he has a great life today. But what happened to him was for my faith journey the equivalent of an exorcism in which a pig snatched up my demon and raced it furiously off a cliff into the water. After seeing that take place, the wall of infallibility that fundamentalism had always imposed over my consciousness shattered and fell to the ground in a million pieces. I realize that fundamentalism wasn't the purer version of something I was doing in a lukewarm way. It was an ideology that made you hate people.

I have a hunch that at least half of the kids who grew up evangelical through the culture wars like me are now standing in front of walls that have either shattered or are on their way to doing so. In the movie "Blue Like Jazz," the adulterous youth minister with the Ralph Reed haircut has the kids bust open a piñata during church that turns out much to their disgust to be filled with single serving communion juice containers. I remember thinking as I watched it that every ex-evangelical must have had a "piñata moment" of clarity. What makes me really sad is that some of the ex-evangelicals I know seem like they're ruined for life. The agonizing perplexity is that we've seen poisonous fruit on the tree that we ate from, but it's very hard to find the theological roots of this poison, so we are often shot down by our Bible-quoting opponents whenever we try to put our finger on what has made our church so rotten.

There are a legion of misanthropic demons in the evangelical consciousness that cause famous preachers to have more to say about the infiltration of the Muslim Brotherhood into our government than the brotherhood of humanity that Jesus died to create. When Christians lust for Armageddon and rejoice over the evidence that all those eternally reprobate Muslims should have never been introduced to democracy, we are no longer part of the body of Christ, but the flailing limbs of a demon-possessed man in a Gerasene graveyard. But thanks be to God for Fred Phelps (the God Hates Fags preacher), Terry Jones (the Quran burner) and Dinesh D'Souza (the adulterous Obama hater). Because of them, I think I have finally found a proper application for my least favorite verse in the whole Bible: "What if God, although choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath -- prepared for destruction?" (Romans 9:22). If predestination is right (and perhaps it is), then God has predestined Fred, Terry, Dinesh and other Gerasene pigs like them to race like fury off the cliff and into the lake, taking the demons of American evangelicalism with them.

I actually don't feel any snark in me at all to say that I rejoice at the providence of God for anointing a herd of pigs to purge evangelicals of our demons by making their fruit plain. And my prayer for Fred Phelps, Terry Jones, Dinesh D'Souza and all the conspiracy theorists, worldview litmus-testers and pornographers of outrage is that they would one day wake up in a graveyard to the squeals of pigs splashing behind them, wondering how they got handcuffed to the graves. Or perhaps they'll find themselves eating with pigs and realizing that they can return home to a Father who loves them.

I don't know what theological changes are needed to save American evangelicals, but I really don't think that we're destined to howl in the graveyard forever. The pigs are headed for the lake, and I really believe for the first time in my life that the American evangelicals are going to make it.

 

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08:26 PM on 12/11/2012
I believe many evangelicals like the intoxicating POWER that comes from having followers, even when they are few in number and not entirely all there.

One of the strangest of these was (and might still be) Art Bulla. I think he's got a dozen or two followers and lives in Mexico, in a solar powered hut in Nowhere, Baha California.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Art_Bulla
08:20 PM on 12/11/2012
That was interesting. I want to be snarky but I admire your tale of your journey.

Some years ago in the Navy I had a roommate that hated Mormons. He was a bible inerrantist and that creates a serious vulnerability -- it is brittle and a little crack becomes a shatter.

So one day I said only, "Jesus is come in the flesh".

Now to those that don't know, the relevant scripture says ONLY a man of God can say those words. I take it to mean, say those words and *mean* it or believe it. But taking literally, a bible inerrantist is conditioned to believe anyone else simply cannot form those words. I dare say the devil himself can say those words and believe it with more certainty than I possess!

Anyway, it caused a bit of a crisis of faith and I felt bad about it. Some years later I met him again and he had a new faith, was much more resilient about details and thus was also more firmly committed to the important parts of faith, hope and charity.
04:46 AM on 10/21/2012
When people reduce the miracles and actions of Christ to metaphors, they are reducing the divinity of Jesus to a mere metaphor. And, then the physical resurrection of Christ becomes a metaphor. Our salvation, in essence, becomes a metaphor. I guess when they are asked as to what church they attend they can say that I attend The First Church of Metaphor. And, when they stand before God Almighty they can say, "Sorry, God. I thought you were a metaphor. Please, tell me all that talk about demons was a metaphor, too!" There's no greater hypocrisy than to not believe in what one preaches or teaches.
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Morgan Guyton
United Methodist Pastor, Blogger
09:23 AM on 11/10/2012
Oh mercy! I'm not reducing anything to a metaphor. I believe that Jesus really did that. I'm just saying that it ALSO describes what's going on today metaphorically.
03:30 AM on 11/11/2012
Morgan Guyton, Then, say in your writing "what" you mean without cloaking it "metaphorically".
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AntithiChrist
Rhymes with Grist
01:39 AM on 10/21/2012
That pig story was a metaphor??!! That is such a relief! This whole time I thought Jesus sending those demons into those pigs who then jumped off that cliff, thereby leaving that pig farmer standing there scratching his head, his entire livelihood suddenly destroyed - without so much as a "by your leave...", - I thought that was all gospel truth! Thank god it's only a metaphor describing some jerky 2013 religionists. Who knew?
07:25 PM on 10/20/2012
God creating humans to love and have them adore him is like me creating fire ats to worship me
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Sister Lauren
Running for congress on the Green ticket.
03:22 PM on 10/20/2012
" then God has predestined Fred, Terry, Dinesh and other Gerasene pigs like them to race like fury off the cliff and into the lake, taking the demons of American evangelicalism with them. "

I think it is my political action project. It had an element that included a religious reformation. I called it the "walk of Jesus" as it was intended to separate the sheep from the goats.

I was trained in quality control and I figured out a way to apply it to the religions. That was in order to have world peace. Yeah it is a complicated plan, it took me four months to think it up! I have been working on it for years.

Coming out of the closet is not easy, especially when there are people who would like to kill you.
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Sister Lauren
Running for congress on the Green ticket.
03:11 PM on 10/20/2012
I think Terry Jones might have phoned me. Does he smoke?
04:22 AM on 10/20/2012
There will always be pigs among us. Most people have difficulty in understanding that churches are filled with saints and sinners, and sometimes those two roles seem interchangeable. There are plenty of good people in Pentacostal or Evangelical churches, and there are plenty of good people in the most liberal churches with watered down theologies. Hypocrisy comes into play when we think our own particular brand of denominationalism makes us better than others.

It appears to be in fashion, for a large number of Christians, to be more accepting of people who believe in other religions than our own. In other words, Christians are becoming less tolerate of other Christians, who are in the body of Christ, than they are of devout, fundadmental followers of various religions. It is that lack of tolerance for our own which should be exorcised...metaphorically. When, you love those less, who are in Christ, than you love those of other religions it demonstrates a sinful nature born out of rejection and rebellion.

No denomination is perfect, and no congregation of an individual church is perfect. Therefore, the real task at hand is to recognize the porcine qualities of all mankind, and in that recognition seek forgiveness.
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Morgan Guyton
United Methodist Pastor, Blogger
02:22 PM on 10/20/2012
Take a look at Matthew 23 and tell me what you think about Jesus' tolerance for people who were misrepresenting His religion.
03:32 AM on 10/21/2012
Morgan,  I understand fully your comparison of the Scribes and Pharisees in Matthew 23 with the Pastors of Evangelical churches today.  Wherein, they wish to control the very thoughts and actions of their congragants.  And, I comprehend the comparison of how the members in those churches, today, are leaving their discipleship to the church just as people were flocking to Christ.  Jesus is speaking to the hypocrisy of the Judaic leaders and the burdens which they placed upon their people.  However, it was a failure of recognition on the Judaic leaders to identify Jesus as the Christ or Messiah.  That same failure goes on in many churches today.  Whereby, people are taking refuge in ministers who preach planting a seed to reap God's harvest, and ministers who preach a "God loves you regardless" message.  These types of messages lead to swearing by the gold on the alter and submission to hypocrites.  We are to have one authority, and that is God in Heaven.
11:52 PM on 10/19/2012
May it be so!
03:28 PM on 10/19/2012
Hmm, I agree with the main thesis- fundamentalism is rotten to the core, and many modern American Christians are drunk on hate, to rephrase. However, I don't think I will ever return to organized religion, though I am still and will always follow Jesus. I disagree that all the "pigs" are outed and run off a cliff. What we see in the headlines is just the tip of the iceberg. Every church in every state in every denomination I have ever visited had such people, usually in leadership. No, I think it's time to toss the whole thing.
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Morgan Guyton
United Methodist Pastor, Blogger
08:47 PM on 10/19/2012
You can always come over to Methodism. ;-P
jdug
NO IDOLS
02:18 PM on 10/19/2012
For the past 3-4 years I have been what I call a "reformed Baptist" - now Methodist. This was brought about by a systematic theology study after being subjected to Calvinism, plus 50 years of Baptist literalism. I appreciate your post but I fear it will be a long, long time before all the pigs jump off the clift - at least in the South. I think the evidence for this is the total devotion by the majority of evangelicals to the republican party over following the teachings of Jesus. I think Jesus talked about hypocrisy 19 times in Mathew and I often wonder if Richard Land, Franklin Graham and many of the self-proclaimed "Christian party" ever read Mathew. It is hard not to be judgemental. Duh!
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Morgan Guyton
United Methodist Pastor, Blogger
08:46 PM on 10/19/2012
I think every evangelical should read Matthew 23 every day and ask themselves how many times they have exuded the qualities of the Pharisees described there.
09:12 AM on 10/19/2012
Wonderful posting. Glad you are willing to stand up. I am much older than you and was raised in a conservative, Southern, Baptist church. The Bible was literal and ministers taught that girls should not swim in the same pool with boys, you don't work on Sunday, girls dresses went to their ankels, and church attendance was at the minimum 5 hours a week. Catholics were the anti-Christ, blacks bore the mark of Cain, and Rock and Roll was the devil corrupting the youth. Government was a necessary evil and government workers were less than anyone else - corrupt, bribe taking, power hungry, and living off the earnings of hard working Americans. In our church you could not be a decon and be divorced, and drinking was a sin. I married a Mexican-American Catholic. My mother said I was trying to disgrace her by marrying a Catholic my sister said you might listen to Dean Martin sing but you certainly wouldn't marry him because he was Italian. Before she died (age 85) my mother said she was wrong and if I wanted to join the Catholic Church it was okay with her. My father thought my marriage was the best thing that ever happened to me. Some of my wifes relatives wouldn't come to our wedding because I was non-Catholic, divorced, and we couldn't be married in the "Church". After 44 years we are accepted by her relatives. I too hope the demons rushover the cliff.
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Morgan Guyton
12:58 PM on 10/19/2012
Thanks for your testimony. I really think they're finally heading off the cliff. It will be beautiful when people see the face of Christ without the ugly distortions that we've created.
02:53 AM on 10/19/2012
You said that, "I don't know what theological changes are needed to save American evangelicals, but I really don't think that we're destined to howl in the graveyard forever." Addressing the word evangelical: I honestly don't think that Jesus wanted us to lead anyone to Christ--as in converting a person to Christianity. The religion did not even exist when He said, "Feed my sheep." Did Jesus try to set up churches and turn everyone into a follower? I think that when Jesus said, "Feed my sheep", he meant literally to feed people--physically and spiritually, as he did. I am not ever again going to purposefully try to lead a person to Christ. I just follow Jesus myself, and love (love as Jesus taught) my neighbor for exactly who he is and where he is at.
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Morgan Guyton
United Methodist Pastor, Blogger
04:07 AM on 10/19/2012
Not to be contrary, but He did also say that whole "Go into all the world..." thing. But evangelism is completely different when it's not the conquest of empire that it has been for Western civilization.
04:32 AM on 10/19/2012
Exactly. "And he said to them, 'Go to the entire world and preach my Good News in all creation.'" I do not interpret that to mean converting anyone to Christianity. I interpret it as feeding people spiritually. Just like He did. I guess I just don't like Paul's type of Christianity much. I wish the non-orthodox branches had survived, because then I would have a spiritual family that I wouldn't feel so contradictory to all the time.
09:07 PM on 10/18/2012
" I don't know what theological changes are needed".. just continue to preach the Word of God.
Proclaim it with fear and trembling, be annointed by the Holy Spirit. The truth is there, that is what all Christianity needs.PEACE
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Morgan Guyton
United Methodist Pastor, Blogger
04:05 AM on 10/19/2012
Amen. God will reveal what's needed when it's needed.
06:19 PM on 10/18/2012
I absolutely love this. Having been around in Evangelicals circles for a little over 30 years, I have seen even more than the three you mentioned. I was at one time a hardline fundamentalist then I found the light of Jesus' grace and freedom. Thank you for this article. I am posting on Facebook and my twitter. Peace to you.
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Morgan Guyton
United Methodist Pastor, Blogger
09:17 PM on 10/18/2012
Thanks Mark. I think a lot of people share this story.
09:19 PM on 10/18/2012
I too, have follow the same path for 34 years.