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God Emerges as Possible Candidate for Republican Nomination

Posted: 03/ 6/2012 9:50 pm

With Super Tuesday showing no clear winner yet in the Republican primaries, God has signaled that he may throw his hat in the ring for the nomination at the Republican National Convention.

While former pronouncements from the Almighty have taken the form of burning bushes or stone tablets, God's most recent announcement came via his Twitter feed @DivineBeingforreal - where He posted a link to a recent interview with Oprah, one of his chosen ones.

"My name is being invoked by so many candidates -- Gingrich, Santorum, Romney -- I might as well run, and cut out the self-appointed middle man," God told the talk-show host.

Romney, a Mormon, is still struggling against the surprisingly strong showing by Rick Santorum, a devout Catholic. Twice-divorced and a recent Catholic convert, Newt Gingrich has been lagging behind in the polls. All have invoked religious faith as being central to their presidencies.

"Honestly, I don't think I've heard this many references to me since the Ten Plagues," said the Lord, who appeared to be in a jovial mood.

"What do you think if we put 'One nation, under God' on a bumper sticker?" He joked.

Yet God resisted Oprah's efforts pin him to specifics with questions such as "which God we're going to see at the convention -- Old Testament or New," intended to provoke a discussion on His viewpoint on gay marriage, abortion and health care.

Oprah also teased the Lord, asking whether the fire and brimstone rantings of Leviticus were "like the experimentation we all did in college."

The Creator gave little away. But He may have shown his hand slightly with a comment about Rick Santorum's recent declaration that the Crusades "get a bad rap."

"I mean, what's next? The Spanish Inquisition?" God chuckled.

Speculation has risen in the media in recent weeks on the possibility of a "brokered"
convention, in which no single candidate has a majority of delegates in the first round of voting -- paving the way for a dark horse candidate to emerge.

Until the Divine Being's Twitter posting, much of that speculation revolved around former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie -- both of whom God dismissed with a shrug.

Influencing the vote of the 1,144 convention delegates needed to secure the nomination is "not exactly parting the Red Sea," He said.

God underlined that he had not made any decision yet as to whether he would throw his hat in the ring at the Convention, or if not -- whether he would endorse any of the other candidates, or President Obama. He encouraged candidates to worry less about the religious doctrine and to think more about serving their constituents.

"If you put blind faith in me, you're going to get what you came for," He said.