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Entries by Murray Hill Inc.

A Corporate Person's Guide to Passing Immigration Reform in the House

(0) Comments | Posted July 1, 2013 | 6:17 PM

Certain "bodied humans" of our acquaintance are minimizing the chances of immigration reform passing the House of Representatives. They don't think anything resembling the bill passed by the Senate can survive in the land of Boehner, Bachmann and Gohmert.

Fortunately, there is a solution,...

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Americans Elect's Failure Is Our Victory

(5) Comments | Posted May 18, 2012 | 9:33 AM

We told you so.

The failure of Americans Elect, the online nominating process designed to bypass the two major political parties and field an independent candidate for president, proves what Murray Hill Inc. Campaign Manager William S. Klein and Designated Human Eric Hensal said in the opening line...

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Rise Up Corporations! Don't Hide Behind Super PACs! Democracy Belongs To You!

(7) Comments | Posted February 27, 2012 | 3:13 PM

The Supreme Court's Citizens United decision liberated our campaign finance system by freeing corporations to do what they do best--acquire enormous power, control regulations and eliminate competition. Only now, thanks to the vision of an enlightened Supreme Court, instead of dominating the economy alone corporations are on the brink of...

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Greed is Grrrrreat!

(18) Comments | Posted October 7, 2011 | 8:28 AM

As a leader in the movement to protect the civil rights of corporations, Murray Hill Inc., the first corporation to run for Congress, regards the growing Occupy Wall Street movement with amused indifference. How quaint and quixotic these raggedy radicals are, with their sleeping bags, day-glo banners and...

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Howard Schultz and the Heartbreak of the Self-Hating Corporation

(26) Comments | Posted September 13, 2011 | 6:06 PM

Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz has been making headlines with his call for his fellow Masters of the Universe to stop making all campaign contributions until the political equivalent of the Rapture--the golden moment when Congress stops sinning and learns to love each other, rejecting brinkmanship for...

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Watson, Come Here, I Need You!

(4) Comments | Posted February 17, 2011 | 1:46 PM

Now it can be told. The victory of IBM's Watson computer on Jeopardy! over two human opponents is part of Murray Hill Inc.'s master plan to remove the pesky human interface from as much of public life as possible.

As the first corporation to run for...

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We're Here, We're Corporate, Get Used To It!

(9) Comments | Posted November 2, 2010 | 11:07 PM

How sweet it is!

When Murray Hill Inc. became the first corporation to run for Congress (thanks to the enlightened decision by the U.S. Supreme Court in the Citizens United case) there were some who said it couldn't be done. Persons conceived by shareholders...

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Corporate Candidate Says: We Are the Fear Stephen Colbert Warned You About!

(26) Comments | Posted September 29, 2010 | 4:00 PM

BREAKING NEWS: Listen here.


When the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Citizens United v. Federal Elections Commission that corporations have the same rights as individuals to participate in elections, Murray Hill Inc. saw an opening to take this historic civil rights struggle to the next level...

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Kagan Nomination Another Example of Obama Anti-Corporate Bigotry

(25) Comments | Posted May 13, 2010 | 2:17 PM

When the U.S. Supreme Court voted 5-4 to protect the right of corporate persons to contribute to federal campaigns, a predictable outcry was raised by some who cling to a misguided belief in so-called "inalienable rights" of bodied persons. Such a notion is so 19th Century!

President Barack...

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Justice John Paul Stevens: Corporate Persons Everywhere Salute You!

(42) Comments | Posted April 16, 2010 | 5:09 PM

Some words and phrases ring throughout history with portent and meaning. They define new eras in democracy and inspire future generations.

"We the people..."

"Four score and seven years ago..."

"Give me liberty or give me death."

And now, we can add to this pantheon the wisdom and vision of...

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