Are you happy? Apparently, you'd be happier were you born thirty years ago; a recent study says women are less happy today than they were in the 1970's (the happiness of men, on the other hand, is up. Bravo for them). So the theory goes, men spend less time on things that they don't like, whereas women--trying to be superstars at work and at home--simply have longer to-do lists, and more frustration that "important" things don't get done...like dusting. One paragraph in this New York Times article really caught my attention:
Ms. Stevenson was having drinks with a business school graduate who came up with a nice way of summarizing the problem. Her mother's goals in life, the student said, were to have a beautiful garden, a well-kept house and well-adjusted children who did well in school. "I sort of want all of those things, too," the student said, as Ms. Stevenson recalled, "but I also want to have a great career and have an impact on the broader world."
Although I understand the primal desires for family and security, I sometimes feel as though I'm judged as a "bad" woman for my ambivalence toward the traditional package: marriage, kids and a diamond ring, pretty roof, and last name holding it all together. I respect others' choices. I know you can be a fiercely educated woman and still like to...sigh...dust. (I'm sure there are intelligent men out there who like to dust, too. I guess.) But a well-kept house and beautiful garden at the top of your "Things I Was Put On This Earth To Do List"... in 2007... on the same list as a fulfilling career, happy life and and legacy? Really?
I'll take a dirty home and self-fulfillment any day of the week. Actually, my happiness on any given day usually directly correlates to how messy my living situation is... because I'm out living my life, rather than staying home cleaning it up.
Start thinking symbolically by reading, "Spiritual Housecleaning: Healing the Space Within by Beautifying the Space Around You." Buy one more feng shui book and really get how that ba gua compass can serve you. Could you embrace the metaphysical enough to dust off that mantle, windex your mirrors, sweep your front entryway...and let the spirits in.
Whatever floats your boat: just don't make that kind of behavior definitively female.
Told my 75 year old mother that and she finally chilled on the house cleaning and gets outside to relax and spend time with her friends.
I should have said that to her years ago but did not want to offend her.