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Nancy Alvarez

Entries by Nancy Alvarez

What's My Business, and What Is His?

(91) Comments | Posted August 22, 2012 | 3:44 AM

I have been in a live-in, romantic relationship for seven years. When my partner first moved up to the Northwest to live with me, we were both so excited about feeling what we did for one another, we didn't think too much about the practical issues of living together.

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Saying 'I'm Happy' Out Loud

(3) Comments | Posted August 1, 2012 | 4:22 PM

Would you believe that just writing those five words made my stomach clench? Years ago, the leader of my women's group in Los Angeles suggested that it was easier to talk about our problems than our joys, even with our closest friends, because most of us are more comfortable with...

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Will I Ever Trust Again?

(14) Comments | Posted July 2, 2012 | 5:07 PM

After I my first husband and I were divorced, the very idea of dating chilled me to the bone. He had been lying to me for over a year about an affair, which actually hurt me more than the affair. I had suspected, and asked him about it with some...

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Remaining Vital

(24) Comments | Posted June 6, 2012 | 9:06 AM

These past weeks I have been taking a friend into Seattle to have medical tests to try to figure out what has been causing her health problems, which have been many and serious. Often when we are anxious we don't hear everything we are being told. I sit in the...

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What's My Place In These Troubling Times?

(0) Comments | Posted May 21, 2012 | 12:10 PM

Because of the sudden death of a friend a few months ago, I've spent quite a bit of time thinking about what really matters to me in life, as well as how I spend the hours in every one of my days. How much time do I waste doing what...

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We Still Earn Less

(0) Comments | Posted May 2, 2012 | 12:24 PM

Rachel Maddow appeared on Meet The Press this past Sunday, where she tried to open a discussion about creating a policy nationwide to deal with the discrepancy between the wages women earn and those that men do. Unfortunately, Republican Strategist and CNN Contributor Alex Castellanos didn't want to...

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The Grief of Losing a Best Friend

(1) Comments | Posted April 24, 2012 | 5:13 PM

When I was a child, two things were most important to me: my girlfriends and creating a dance, a picture or a story to delight my soul. I don't know why both of these things were so important to me then, but they continued to be throughout most of my...

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What We Learn, and Pass On, from Our Mothers

(10) Comments | Posted April 3, 2012 | 1:10 PM

These days I find myself thinking about my mom, especially after spending a week with my daughter and her two little boys. They live about four hours away, so I drive down to see them every month. I have been delighted by what a thoughtful and loving mother she has...

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'Me Time': Learning To Be Alone Was The Best Thing I Ever Did

(111) Comments | Posted March 19, 2012 | 9:02 AM

Ten years ago I knew what my husband enjoyed doing, what he liked to eat, who his best friends were and which friends of mine he liked and didn't like. I also knew which snacks my children preferred when they came home from school, what TV programs they watched, what...

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65, Female and a Writer: Almost Felled by Twitter Et Al

(1) Comments | Posted February 29, 2012 | 1:58 PM

For my entire life I have earned my living as a writer, first in New York City and then in Hollywood. Unfortunately that world has been undergoing drastic changes, and I, along with hundreds of older writers, have felt the impact. Many sleepless nights over the last two years have...

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How Did I Get Here?

(0) Comments | Posted February 7, 2012 | 2:34 PM

Over five years ago I developed a bladder infection that lasted five months. I couldn't do much but lie on the couch. Sitting was too uncomfortable, as was exercise. I was divorced, sick and the book business was a mess, which made my life seem all but over. I often...

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Balance: Finding It When You're A Born Caretaker

(2) Comments | Posted January 20, 2012 | 3:01 PM

I was born and bred to be a caretaker. My mom had a heart attack when I was four. Though I was a child, my Dad gave me the job of watching her, making sure she didn't do too much, keeping my voice down, and making sure my older sister...

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Alone For Christmas

(5) Comments | Posted December 23, 2011 | 2:44 PM

When I was first divorced, spending Christmas with my daughters was extremely important to me. Neither my ex-husband nor I had any idea how to work out holiday time. He didn't much care about Christmas or Thanksgiving since he didn't cook.

But once he started dating, that changed. He...

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How Did I Become The Only Parent?

(6) Comments | Posted November 21, 2011 | 5:23 PM

When I divorced my daughters were three-and-a-half and seven. I still have a picture of my younger daughter at age three on my bulletin board: she looks unutterably sad. I'm not sure why I keep the picture. My older daughter acted out daily, but she didn't look as sad. She...

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I Get to Be Granma

(5) Comments | Posted November 16, 2011 | 11:07 AM

When my daughter had her first son three years ago, I drove the four hours from my town to her city in record time. It's amazing I didn't get a ticket. When I walked into her hospital room, it was empty, without even a bed. I continued racing, this time...

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How Do I Know It's Abuse?

(64) Comments | Posted November 3, 2011 | 2:25 PM

Several years into my second marriage, one of my friends gave me the book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. I didn't read it for four years, despite the fact that I understood why she had given it to me. I didn't believe his behavior was abusive. It was...

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Dipping, And Other Ways We Touched As Teens

(2) Comments | Posted October 18, 2011 | 4:58 PM

Yesterday when I was driving to my co-op, my local radio station played an oldie-but-goodie 50s dance tune. Immediately I was transported back to the small hall where kids in my crowd held dances. One Saturday night, some older boys who were already in high school swaggered into the room....

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Divorce #2: The Shame Of It

(45) Comments | Posted October 10, 2011 | 7:35 PM

I realized my second marriage was in trouble sometime after our fifth anniversary. My nature being what it is, I took all the proactive steps I could think of to save that marriage. The very idea of divorce was an anathema to me. Besides, I still loved him as much...

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50: The Beginning Of The End?

(2) Comments | Posted October 3, 2011 | 12:06 AM

By nature I am a curious, positive person, a glass half-full type. I bounce back from adversity fairly quickly, coming up with solutions for problems within a day or two, or seeking help from friends if I can't. But when I turned fifty, I was overwhelmed by the feeling that...

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Why In The World Did I Marry Him/Her

(16) Comments | Posted September 20, 2011 | 12:40 PM

I realized my mother wasn't happy with my father in my early teens. They didn't fight, although there was affection, mainly because my mom was a warm person and very touchy-feely. She was also vibrant, curious, alive, and full of sass. My father was shy, reticent, quiet, and controlling. When...

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