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Headed For Divorce: I Will Never Survive Financially

Posted: 07/23/11 05:10 PM ET

When I went through my first divorce over thirty years ago, I had two daughters, ages three-and-a-half and seven. My husband and I worked in the same business, which was definitely a boys' club. Many of those men were his friends. I had no idea if any of them would ever hire me again. To say I was terrified doesn't begin to cover what I was experiencing. I can remember my fear in every molecule of my body. My friends saw me as super competent, mouthy, together, compassionate - none of them believed I was as scared as I told them I was. Each night after I managed to tuck my daughters into their respective beds and read to them until they fell asleep, I would collapse on my bed and dissolve in tears. How could I expect my friends to believe me when I barely recognized myself?

Much of what I feared came to pass, though not all of it. None of those men would even 'take' a meeting with me, let alone hire me. I was out of work for more than a year before a woman finally did, an irony of course. Because I suspected I would never work as much as I had before the pending divorce, I was still frightened. I was right, although thankfully I didn't know it then. It was almost impossible for me to come up with alternative work solutions because I was still in a state of panic about my survival. Taking my daughters to their activities, marketing, making meals, and trying to seem 'normal' took everything I had. Friends made suggestions, but I barely heard them. When one of them proposed teaching at UCLA Extension, I almost screamed. I had never taught college; why would anyone hire me?

Eventually my fear of not being able to pay my mortgage overcame my fear of calling the woman who ran UCLA Extension. At a union meeting weeks before, a man I didn't know very well suggested he send me his notes for the same class I would be teaching if I were hired. I almost memorized his notes. I didn't use them once I started teaching, but they did help me sound reasonably intelligent at that first meeting, and I think they helped me get the job. The afternoon I was supposed to teach my first class I thought I had the flu. I pulled myself away from the toilet to drive over to the Westwood campus. Much to my surprise, I enjoyed teaching that first class. I was good at passing along what I had learned as a writer to those who wanted to pursue a similar career. Landing that job turned the tide; I realized I would find other work that I enjoyed and that we would not starve.

I did survive, as did my children. I learned that I was actually made of sturdy stuff, I grew, and finally, I flourished. What still amazes me about that time of my life is how terrified I was, and how certain I was that I did not have the wherewithal to make a life. If my husband had not had an affair and lied about it for over a year, I might not have left him because of that fear. Having seen many marriages festering with wounds of mistrust, I know that is not what I wanted.

My mother frequently told me that she hoped I would find a man to take care of me. I believed that without one I would not be able to take care of myself. Thank God I learned that was not true. Even if the men in that boys' club had hired me, women earned sixty or seventy cents on the dollar back then. I had reason to be afraid. Women still earn less. Now, even though many men share child rearing, women take on most of that job when they divorce. These days the economy is dreadful, with few jobs available. How well can a woman who has been out of the labor force entirely, or only working part time, fare in these troubling times? If you're female with children and facing divorce, fear is part of the process.

Rely on your friends, even if you can't hear them very well. Take solace from those kids; their delight can bring back some of your joy. Baby steps will put you back in the job market. You can even enroll in courses that will help you find your way. Don't forget to breathe. And don't be ashamed of the tears, or how often they come. Tears are healing. I know. I've been there.

 

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blarneydude
I can handle the truth. Now let's talk about you.
09:03 AM on 07/28/2011
This should be a lesson to all of us: No man is an island. But it's best to put one's primary faith in oneself.

This woman put herself in her bad situation: same career; same career cronies; same professional ties; same, uh-oh, life. Variety is the spice. If you're gonna get married - and good luck with that - marry someone who complements you, NOT someone you have to complement. (Or match.) Don't sacrifice your life power to fit in with someone else's. People are afraid to be alone. Why is that? I have a hunch it's because people never learn, in our socially-focused society which is always asking you how you served it lately, proper SELF-respect.

Being alone is being by oneself. (My favorite company, personally. Learn to cultivate it.)

Loneliness? That's being with the wrong person.

If you have to change yourself to be in a relationship: BIG RED FLAG.
09:29 PM on 07/27/2011
Marriage is nothing more than a legal process that allows the state to divide assets and impose indentured servitude. Neither partner should "have" to financially support the other spouse. Just stay friends. If they bail on the relationship then they take only their own possessions. No entitlements. Once marriage is joined the lesser earning partner stands to profit the most from the relationship and has no liabilities to the higher earner. What reasonable person would ever enter into a business contract like that? Where one partner who has no liabilities is guaranteed profits during the business operation and even beyond when the business has closed. Meanwhile the other business partner must run the business and share the profits and even when the business fails is required to give the other partner profits from the now defunct business. No sane person would ever enter into such an unfair business partnership. But since marriage is nothing but a legally binding contract... that is exactly what people do every day. If you are going to get married then realize it's a business deal. Ask yourself these questions. Does the other partner make as much and I do. Will the other partner continue to work and be an equal contributor to this business. Am I willing to lose everything and yet still be required to pay this partner profits or face imprisonment.
09:55 PM on 07/27/2011
Good Lord, I hope you never marry......If you don't see anything else in life other than a "$", then STAY SINGLE. There would be NO reason for someone like you to marry. I assume you never want to have a child. Because that changes ones life FOREVER......emotionally to start, then physical and financial commitment (that's assuming they are capable of emotion, and you sound questionable). It means for starters that one or both must make career compromises. And believe it or not, the woman who must carry the child still takes huge medical risks even in this world of improved medical care. So she contributes in a huge way just to start, that he never can/will. But someone like you would hire a surrogate, because EVERYTHING has a $ price right ? EVERYTHING can be bought, right ? You probably won't get my point but I'm going to put it out there just the same. THE MOST IMPORTANT things in life CANNOT BE BOUGHT for any price. A very wealthy friend clarified that for me when I was very young. And she is SO RIGHT. The important ability is to recognize and see through someone who doesn't know that.
06:14 PM on 07/28/2011
Altos Conic: This is an excellent summary of the risks involved in marriage. Someone should make curriculum. It should be taught in an intro economics class, I think.

Cafebeege: If marriage is really about children, nothing prevents a couple from having kids without marriage, although this still invites a huge financial and legal risk for a father, mostly. I really think that you make a valid (perhaps unintended) point about hiring a surrogate as a viable option for a father who wants a child of their own, but who wants to avoids the legal-financial quagmire of divorce, which is statistically likely. For women, I also think that artificial insemination is a good way to satisfy the urge to have a kid, and in such a way that a father is protected from divorce courts.

Of course, you (likely) will say that a child should benefit from both parents being involved. I agree, in an ideal world. However, given the statistical facts regarding the realities of divorce, and statistical facts regarding custody settlements, it is unlikely that a child would benefit from both parents (particularly the father) anyway.

Welcome to the future, ladies. Certainly, some of you will still be able to find a future husband who is sucker enough. But just think, your child will be inheriting DNA from him. You will only have yourself to blame when the kid inherits irrational tendencies, form your divorced husband, who you will loath (e.g., according to this discussion thread).
05:43 PM on 07/27/2011
Can she prove she earns less that a male in the same job with the same position?

I hear this all the time but never see any proof. The statistic as far as I understand is an average and doesn't factor in the fact that men often work in higher paying trades that women do not work in.

If the stat is true then why hire men at all when you can get by with hiring women and paying them less?
04:44 PM on 07/27/2011
It's not irony that "a woman finally did [take a meeting with the author]." I'm wondering why she thinks it is.
02:22 PM on 07/27/2011
America has cheapened marriage a long time ago, and continues to do so. I hope I'm wrong, but that's my take.
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Ystorm
HAND UP not HAND OUT!!!
04:48 PM on 07/27/2011
Why? Its not your place to judge this woman.
08:12 PM on 07/27/2011
I think what you mean is the acceptance of "no fault" divorce in all states now. Yes ? Over the last few decades I think it has passed even in states that had had no legal changes for literally centuries before that. In defense of those new laws, the life span is longer than ever before, and expecting two people to "grow" in the same direction for 50-70+ yrs is expecting a lot. So, last I checked, the divorce rate for first marriages is over 52%. The divorce rate for second marriages is 70% (most common reason given was the children from the first marriage). With a batting average like that, you wonder why anyone bothers. No wonder so many just live together. Or a pre-nup since the divorce rate says it probably will happen. I am old fashioned enough to want it legal if children come about. Yes I know that seems old fashioned these days and not necessary, so don't slam me. BUT, how about classes required in high school to attempt to demonstrate the responsibilities of living with another person and all the compromises, etc. to be made, IN ADDITION to the care of children. (Better be with supervison since only a real child/children could give the taste of the daily unexpected "inconveniences" of dependent beings.)
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rambooncemore
02:02 PM on 07/27/2011
I'm a man in a happy marriage. Your story made me sad for what you had to go through, and eventually happy that you could pull it off. The comments here are telling- the hurt in a divorce is unimaginable. Men and women blaming each other, discussing options to shield themselves from pain prior to marriage. I can't simply classify them as bitter or vengeful; but I see that fear of divorce is endemic for people who have never married. A cousin who is engaged recently confided in me that she fears divorce, being rejected. Is this a healthy thought to bring into a marriage? How does a person draw the line between realism and cynicism?
10:18 AM on 07/27/2011
Marriage is an anachronism. You don't get lifetime guarantees with people. I propose that we have renewable five year marriage contracts instead. Everyone gets a negotiated prenup prior to the marriage with severe financial penalties for adultery, abandonment or abuse. No more divorces just don't renew the contract. No more horror stories about being stuck in an untenable marriage. Marriage is a partnership similar to a business on many levels and should be handled as such.
12:22 PM on 07/27/2011
This is a reasonable starting point, at the very least, for discussing some ideas about how to improve the situation. A somewhat less drastic change might involve requiring or at least encouraging people to go through some pretty explicit, realistic educational programs letting them know what they're really in for after the rice has been swept up from the church floor. To go a little further, I think some sort of contractual agreement for how the partnership will end -- I guess this is basically a prenuptial agreement -- would be a very good idea. I mean with more than 40 percent of marriages ending in divorce, to not have some sort of mechanism for smoothing the dissolution of the partnership seems unwise.
01:17 PM on 07/27/2011
I, actually, like that approach. Nobody will take anything for granted.
02:20 PM on 07/27/2011
That's very interesting, Windy. Thanks for the insight.
09:48 AM on 07/27/2011
"My husband and I worked in the same business, which was definitely a boys' club. I had no idea if any of them would ever hire me again."

You never explained why you got fired in the first place and dove right into soliciting sympathy.
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Mary Eyer
09:13 AM on 07/27/2011
WOW. There sure are a lot of angry men who think that a woman's wedding vows mean that she's supposed to put up with his crap no matter what forever. Thank God I found a good man who wanted to work together for both of us to be happy!
12:17 PM on 07/27/2011
So what do the wedding vows mean to you, Mary Eyer?
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Ystorm
HAND UP not HAND OUT!!!
04:51 PM on 07/27/2011
"forever" is too long to be with a man that began as ok, but ended up being really horrible as a person. i believe in marriage, i think marriage is a great thing, but sometimes, a woman marries a guy that seems alright at the start, but ends up being a brutish rude lout. "forever" is far too long to stay in that case. abuse is bad.
04:58 PM on 07/27/2011
So if the guy is "really horrible as a person" then forever is too long and abuse is bad. What if the guy is just okay? Or maybe not quite okay but not quite really horrible? Then do you stick around?

And also, if I understand correctly, a "forever" commitment is okay to make if the person is just okay, with the understanding that if things get a lot worse then forever is out. Is that right?
08:02 AM on 07/27/2011
I'd like to hear people's opinion about what the marriage vows mean to them. Clearly, to many people they don't mean what it sounds like. For instance, does "in sickness and in health" mean "as long as you're fulfilling my emotional needs"? Does "as long as you both shall live" mean "until I think I'll be happier without you"? What do you think?
08:16 PM on 07/26/2011
The solution is obvious. Don't get married. Focus on your career, sock away your savings, when you can. Work less. And use the spare time to develop something interesting, and this will make you more valuable, and more interesting, to others, including women (who you should not marry!). In some cases, you will earn more. And if you don't earn more, that which you invent in your spare time will increase your quality of life and/or value to society.

The incredible thing about this article is that the woman's story of self-empowerment was her coming to grips with the kinds of responsibilities that every male takes for granted. One has to pay their bills. One has to earn their keep. This story of empowerment exposes how many women exploit marriage in order to avoid these realities, and husbands bear the brunt of this burden. No dice, I say. I'll stick to myself. I might marry abroad, perhaps. Have a nice time finding a sucker, ladies.
10:12 PM on 07/26/2011
And if you marry abroad, I suppose, you expect an obedient and not so fussy wife, who would earn her keep by doing your laundry, and covering you with passionate kisses?
Just curious, I guess. As a former "foreign wife".
11:24 PM on 07/26/2011
A lot of us would be satisfied with a wife, foreign or domestic, who could make a commitment and stand by it. Or, if she didn't stand by it, who could at least take responsibility for the decision she freely made and for the damage it brought to her children and former partner, instead of blaming it on somebody else or "the system."
07:00 PM on 07/27/2011
Windy City Girl:

As I mentioned, I don't plan to marry. But if I did, the reason that I would marry abroad is because I would choose a country with fair divorce laws. In terms of laundry, etc., it would be far cheaper and less risky to hire someone for that job. Indeed, I would probably hire someone for that kind of work anyway, even if married, in order to reduce strain on the marriage.

Note that the author's story of empowerment was her coming to grips with the kinds of responsibilities and most men, and husbands, take for granted. If marriage is supposed to be among equals, then I would be a sucker to marry someone who needed me to take care of her. No thanks. I try to avoid being a sucker, when I can. And because marriage leads to legal and financial obligations that are impossible to to undo, and that are strongly slanted to the husband's disadvantage, I'll avoid it at all costs. If marriage were a business decision, the risks outweigh the rewards. If marriage is really about love, then love should be enough.
06:14 PM on 07/26/2011
Interesting and uplifting story. But useful, practical, advice? No.

All her story told us was that O'henry sometimes rescues you with a surprise(!) happy ending. But most stories, we all know, don't have happy endings. Indeed, some of the more interesting stories are horror stories... where, at the ending, we find the protagonist shivering under some bushes in the dark, damp, cold forest, with the wails of hungry wolves sounding closer and closer...

Practical advice is: When you are young, study your hardest hardest and get a college degree in something useful, such as Nursing, Engineering, Doctor, Accounting,etc. Work hard, don't make excuses. Then you'll always have a job and Financial Security.
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D. A. Wolf
Writer, Daily Plate of Crazy
02:56 PM on 07/26/2011
Financial survival is a legitimate fear. Those of us who are longtime survivors know it all too well.

I think that anyone considering divorce should look at the financial implications on everyone involved. Including the futures of our children.
07:20 AM on 07/26/2011
OMG!
This is so true i fell it is universal.
Women do this schit if they ever think they can take care of themselves, and if some new hot rod comes sweet talking them.
You will hear all this nonesense about how you dont talk as much, i want more, blah blah blah.
It is sad that "for better or for worse" to some women means as long as they need you and depend on you and you are doing very well. The moment it is their turn to give you moral support to survive any problems, you are history.
Sad indeed, but what goes around, comes around
11:31 AM on 07/26/2011
When love is gone, sweetie, it all becomes a business deal. If the business deal sucks, she'll move on. Why wouldn't she if she can?
12:10 PM on 07/26/2011
She might not because she swore in front of her friends and family that she wouldn't. She might not because she takes seriously her responsibility not to profoundly and permanently damage her children and her partner so she can try something that she hopes will help her feel more loved. She might not because she is an adult who understands that marriage requires sacrifice, and that there are other ways to address feelings of being unappreciated, lacking communication and drifting apart.

Encouraging women to divorce because they're unhappy is, in my opinion, seriously irresponsible. Thousands of men commit suicide -- and homicide, too -- after spouses seek separation or divorce. Serving someone with divorce papers is a serious psychological event.

If a mother kills her kids, she can often escape punishment by claiming post-partum depression. Very often in these cases, the husband is suspected, accused and even convicted of abuse and the homicidal mother is, to varying degrees, acquitted of responsibility. Yet when women have their husbands evicted from home, separated from kids, served with restraining orders, isolated from former neighbors, forced into costly and humiliating and (many say) gender-biased family law systems and shackled with crushing child support payments -- are men given sympathy, understanding or mercy when they react like crazy people? I've never heard of it happening.

I think it's time women stood up and took responsibility for the havoc they wreak with their proclivity for divorce.
05:08 PM on 07/28/2011
Once again, another superb illustration about why men should avoid marriage. When love fades, it -is- a business deal. And, under that criteria, it would have to be one of the most financially irresponsible ones in common practice. Indeed, if a future husband were to consider such an arrangement, you ladies should seriously examine his financial decision making abilities, because this is someone that you will be making financial decisions with until "death do you part" (particularly because the financial and legal obligation is permanent, even though the marriage clearly is not).

Think about it ladies. This is someone who, because of a feeling of "love," would sign away his financial and legal future. You will have to share decisions with that decision maker for years to come. How would it feel if he sacrificed your house or shared investments due to an impulsive and hormonally driven whim, similar to, or equal to, "love"?

The thing that I am learning from this conversation, is how it casts the typical male "fear of commitment" in a different light. A fear of commitment is usually a deal-breaker in relationships. But I think that it might be a sign of financial responsibility. If a boyfriend is avoiding marriage, he actually might be a more responsible life partner!
11:19 PM on 07/25/2011
As a general rule, women talk a good game of commitment. But for about a third of brides, if they think they'll be happier without you, you get served with papers. Infidelity, abuse and alcoholism aren't the usual reasons they cite either. It's typically things like lacking communication, feeling unappreciated, feeling unloved and drifting apart. It's clear that many and perhaps most or even all women have some very different ideas about what commitment is than I do. It seems as though to them "as long as you both shall live" really means, until they think they will do better either alone or with someone else. I mean, what about the kids? What about their former partners who are permanently evicted from their homes, pushed to the fringes of their children's lives, shackled with child support payments and, not surprisingly, afflicted with more than twice as many suicides as married men? Sure, some men are abusive, drunken, faithless husbands and nobody feels sorry for them. But most of us have done the best we can to be the kinds of husbands we thought we should be. Why are these women so quick to divorce us? What is it with you? Are you so ruled by your feelings of not being loved enough that you must do profound real-world, tangible damage to your spouses and even your children by destroying their family and home, just so you can try something you think you will like better?
08:41 PM on 07/27/2011
If we thought we were in an unhappy marriage, we were told by our elders and others we respected for advice, "Do not leave UNLESS you think you will be happier alone." In other words, don't go off assuming you are going to find something better. And I still think that is a good rule of thumb. If anyone is so unhappy, they would be happier alone, THEY ARE IN A BAD MARRIAGE and SHOULD get out.
11:06 PM on 07/28/2011
What about their responsibility to their partners and children? What about their wedding vows? Does their personal happiness trump everyone and everything else?