11/03/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Meet Me in St Louis - Last Night's Debate was Palin's Swan Song

As the world awaited one of the most provocative Vice Presidential Debates-- over, 3,100 media credentials had been issued, the most the Commission on Presidential Debates ever needed in the seven vice presidential debates it's hosted--it's very clear that Sarah Palin is not here to stay. Just like Judy Garland in the classic 1944 musical, Sarah was taken by the boy next store.

The Q and A's had been rehearsed having been coached by Bush veterans and McCain's top campaign strategist, Steve Schmidt, as well as advisers Tucker Eskew, Nicolle Wallace and Mark Wallace--unlike Judy Garland, whose star is her birthright--Sarah's political performance faded as viewers watched her unabated antics and down right homely responses to Gwen's penetrating if not perpetrating series of questions.

For those of us still gafawed even bellowing from infectious laughter have viewed or YouTubed Saturday Night Live--and Tina Fey's (Oh my! Where on earth did she find those glasses?) visionary double.

Her performance smacked like a stick of Wrigley's chewing gum. "Double your pleasure, double your fun! This gum is gonna stick no matter the pun!"

But sadly, last night, Sarah's performance was not. No comparison. Not even close when it comes to the grace and dignity of Joe Biden-- who unleashed "real emotion" while Sarah tried to pop the beer caps off her six pack. Too much foam and not enough substance. She was the glass half empty while Joe's was full.

My mind kept drifting away--I guess between the Katie Couric interview which is the barometer of "to tell the truth" and hearing Elizabeth Hasselbeck "mess up her comments" on The View, I am more than convinced that the salesgirl at Target--the one who knows nothing about bra sizing and finding the perfect fit--is just as fit as Sarah to run for VP-- isn't that a scary thought?

So my mind kept drifting--and it wasn't the wine--my glass was still half-empty, as was Sarah's head, I wanted Gwen to focus on Global Warming. I imagined this would have been her response if she had been asked:

"Governor Palin this one's for you--who do you blame for climate change?"

"I wouldn't solely blame all of man's activities but it kind of doesn't matter at this point, as we debate what caused it. The point is: It's real. We need to do something about it."
She pauses and her smile revealed a tattooed lipstick liner which faded under the bright studio lights as she claims. Stay out of the sun--use block with zinc and pray that God reaches all creationists before it's too late."

Instead, Bush's team created this response:
"We've got to become energy independent for that reason. Also as we rely more and more on other countries that don't care as much about the climate as we do, we're allowing them to produce and to emit and even pollute more than America would ever stand for. So even in dealing with climate change, it's all the more reason that we have an "all of the above" approach, tapping into alternative sources of energy and conserving fuel, conserving our petroleum products and our hydrocarbons so that we can clean up this planet and deal with climate change.

Late in the debate I waited as we all waited for the 700 billion dollar question.
I know I heard her say "we can solve this energy crises," and "It is a crisis. It's a toxic mess"

But I know what she really was thinking and wanted to say was, "Let em eat wolves!" Before the debate, Biden's advisers kept beating into his head that his normal style ... can be offensive," GOP strategist Ed Rollins admitted, "He has a tendency, like a lot of senators, to talk down to people. And that's a danger for him because there are an awful lot of women out there who relate to Palin."

But not our Joe-- not our tell it like it is Senator Joe Biden-- his reality scorecard got the most points. He was eloquent, positive, and posthumously appreciative of everything Sarah stands for in her two and one half inch high caribou hide heels.

And so, as the world watched it turned-- some people off and some on. I was disappointed-- I had hoped that Netflix would have delivered my request, the number one in my cue, for a copy of Meet Me In St Louis because I was dying to hear that song, the famous Martin and Blane lyrics about the trolley just one more time.

I raised my empty glass, turned to my husband who was fast asleep on the couch and sang these words without a rehearsal I might add.

"With my high-starched collar, and my high-topped shoes
And my hair piled high upon my head
I went to lose a jolly hour on the Trolley and lost my heart instead.
With his light brown derby and his bright green tie
He was quite the handsomest of men
I started to yen, so I counted to ten then I counted to ten again
Clang, clang, clang went the trolley
Ding, ding, ding went the bell
Zing, zing, zing went my heartstrings
From the moment I saw him I fell
Chug, chug, chug went the motor
Bump, bump, bump went the brake
Thump, thump, thump went my heartstrings
When he smiled I could feel the car shake
He tipped his hat, and took a seat
He said he hoped he hadn't stepped upon my feet
He asked my name, I held my breath
I couldn't speak because he scared me half to death
Chug, chug, chug went the motor
Plop, plop, plop went the wheels
Stop, stop, stop went my heartstrings
As he started to go then I started to know how it feels
When the universe reels
The day was bright, the air was sweet
The smell of honeysuckle charmed you off your feet
You tried to sing, but couldn't
Buzz, buzz, buzz went the buzzer
Plop, plop, plop went the wheels
Stop, stop, stop went my heartstrings.

(THEN a vision-- John McCain entered stage right)

As he started to leave I took hold of his sleeve with my hand
And as if it were planned he stayed on with me
And it was grand just to stand with his hand holding mine
To the end of the line.

And for this democrat- that's daw gone dandy and fine!