Nancy Colier

The restaurant listed a grilled chicken salad on its entrée menu. I was craving a large green salad (exactly the same thing as the grilled chicken salad, but without the chicken). I asked the 20-something waitress if the chef could make the simple green salad instead. She said that she...

I frequent diners. I love them. Not just because you can get anything you want to eat, but also because they are fantastic places to observe humanity. I "diner" at least a few times a week, just to listen in on conversations. The diner is a prime laboratory for studying...

With a new book coming out in October, I have been dialoguing with publicists about potentially helping me on the project. More often than not, these conversations take place without any mention of the contents of my book. Rather, the professionals have one interest: How do I plan to brand...

Meditation can change your life and your very sense of who you are. There is a reason it has been around for thousands of years and practiced by people from all walks of life and on all parts of the globe. There is a common myth about meditation, however, that...

This past week, my 8-year-old daughter came to me with a predicament. She was running up the steep stairs of her school with a friend, a girl who is not as light and athletic as my daughter. It was difficult and uncomfortable for the other girl to keep up and...

In the online simulation game The Sims, when an avatar accomplishes all of her lifetime aspirations, she achieves "Permanent Platinum" status, otherwise known as permanent happiness. Once "Platinum," her mood bar cannot slip below a certain level, and her environment no longer impacts her happiness. She is frozen in happiness....

A friend of mine is going through a dreadful divorce -- her husband is leaving her in a hostile and unkind manner, with his new girlfriend at his side. As awful as the process has been for her thus far, she recently confessed that the worst part was "not being...

Community is a hot topic these days. Many people now complain that they feel isolated, that community has disappeared, and with it, the experience that community offers -- belonging, inclusion, grounding, shared goals, connection, etc. The institutions that used to provide us with the experience of community -- our schools,...

This weekend I invited a relative to our home for lunch. Ten minutes after the time she was to arrive, I was greeted by the familiar chimes that signal text messages and voice mails awaiting. My guest sounded desperate, reporting that she had replaced her old smartphone with a new...

The other day a friend told me about a weekend conference taking place on women and technology. Since I am a woman investigating technology, I thought I should check it out. As I could not attend in person, I streamed in via the web. Unfortunately, the first video I encountered...

As a psychotherapist, I hear a similar experience described by many young people in my office, an experience that is hauntingly symbolic, I believe, of our current culture and where technology is leading us. The experience is this: The young person is crying and feels compelled to find a mirror...

The other day I was at the movies and it was a few minutes before the previews were to begin. The man in front of me, who was maybe 55 or so, was playing a video game on his phone. Everywhere I go, I see adults playing video games, a...

It was Saturday night and I was getting ready to go out for the evening. I asked my babysitter to order pizza for my daughters and handed her a Domino's take out menu. A few minutes later I came back into the living room and she was tapping away on...

As a psychotherapist, I spend my days listening to people talk about their lives. As I listen to their stories, I notice that the more they stuff themselves with information and entertainment, the more they feel empty and a sense of something missing. Our culture suffers from the disease of...

The most frequent complaint that I hear in my psychotherapy practice these days is that people feel estranged from their own lives, unable to enter their experience -- as if they are ghosts, floating outside the experience of life itself. Their life is happening and time is passing, but they...