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Stop Searching For Balance in The Wrong Places, Just Make Time For You

02/19/2015 11:21 am ET | Updated Apr 21, 2015

One of the reasons I revamped Afro-Chic Mompreneur, was to have an open ended discussion on the work/life balance dilemma, that every Mompreneur deals with on a regular basis.

I wanted to focus on the fact that despite our busy lives, being fabulous is something that most women love. But how often do we make time to look and feel fabulous? I have been able to connect Mompreneurs with brands that simplify life in many ways, especially when it comes to fashion, beauty, fitness and health.

What have I learned about the ever elusive work/life balance as a Mompreneur?

The key to achieving balance is much simpler than we may realize, in my opinion, that is, stop searching and just make time for you!

Don't misunderstand me; all the other great tips are correct, you should put a halt to mommy guilt, get organized, slow down, etc... But you have read these things a million times at this point and yet, here you are, reading again. The reason is, you have not been paying attention to the most important tip you have heard a million times over too: Make time for you!

The reality is this: If you are frazzled, stressed out and completely discombobulated (yes, I used that word!) who exactly do you plan on managing successfully? Your clients, who pay you not to have an excuse? Your home, kids and hubby, who look to you for everything from clean laundry, financial wisdom, confidence boosts and everything in between?

There are times when you are going to just have to say screw it, I need to just get away, and get myself together in every way, from spirituality, to fitness, health and mentally.

It's Hard

If it was easy to do, we wouldn't be seeking out tips and ways to do this. It requires logical prioritization, and logical prioritization involves making choices that some may not always agree with. I remember, reading an article about a year and a half ago that really erupted a sh*t storm in one of my groups.

A blogger shared a post where she said that her husband came before her children. All the alpha moms blew their gaskets, because it was completely unacceptable for anyone to put a man over their children, she was a horrible mom, and so on and so forth. I wonder if they actually read the article, or stopped after the title?

She was simply saying that sometimes as mothers, our children come before all, including our marriages. Instead, we stay in unhealthy marriages, and dote on our children, forgetting that our children see their parents as the first example of what a marriage should be. Our sex lives fizzle because instead of making time to handle our business in the bedrooms, we have the child sleeping in the bed with us night after night, even after our husbands give us all the hints and nudges that they can. At what point do you forget that having a healthy marriage is just as important for you as it is for your children and husband?

There were a lot of great examples of ways we can make our marriages a priority and still be a great mom to our children, and yet somehow everyone was missing the point! Logical prioritization is lacking!

In applying logical prioritization, one would realize that having a healthy marriage will be the key to having a stable home and family life. Therefore, although our children are important to us, and we should put them first in most situations, we have to understand that in order to keep them safe, happy and surrounded by four walls that encompass a happy home life, our marriages have to be just as important, if not more!

As a working mom, we are juggling so many things, and a lot of us are often left drained and exhausted, which leads to stress, irritability and low sex drive. Need I say more?

And yet, our goal in all this is to be a great mom, wife (if you are married), and have a successful career/business.

How does that work? I have tried it that way, and failed time and time again.

Prioritize in ways that will ensure that you will succeed, by making sure that you take care of yourself and keep yourself healthy and fabulous above all. You will then be a better mom, a wife your husband will be proud to flaunt, and a fierce professional woman!

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