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Nancy Wurtzel

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What Makes Me Angry? Dementia

Posted: 04/ 7/2012 4:42 pm

I first noticed signs of my mother's dementia during a trip home to Minnesota. I remember feeling panicked. You see, my dad had Alzheimer's disease and needed full-time care for more than five years. That long, awful journey took a terrible toll on him as well as my mom, who was his primary caregiver. My sisters and I watched helplessly as my dad turned into a shell of a person.

Now I was envisioning a similar journey ahead for my mother.

Upon returning to my home in California, I had dinner with a friend. Relaying my fears about my Mom's disturbing behavior, it was suddenly all too much and I began to cry.

Instinctively my friend reached over and patted my hand. After a minute, she settled back in her chair and said, "I understand, Nancy. Yet, it could be a lot worse. At least your Mom doesn't have something really serious like cancer."

I recall being stunned and feeling confused.

Later, I realized that her comment had actually made me very angry. Yes, certainly cancer -- and any serious disease -- is horrible. No one wants to battle any life-threatening illness. However, many, many cancers are now curable or treatable. Patients can often live cancer-free or in remission for a long time and maintain a good quality of life.

Dementia, on the other hand, is a slow, progressive, always-fatal disease. There is never a chance for remission or "beating the odds." There is no cure or treatment to halt the disease.

Now that I've moved back to my tiny Minnesota hometown to help care for my Mom, I often think of my friend's uninformed comment. At the time, she was only trying to make me feel better, yet she obviously had no idea about the effects of this terrible disease. No one close to her or in her family had suffered from dementia.

I've realized that without the first-hand experience, it is difficult to fully comprehend how dementia can ruin lives.

Dementia erases a person's memory, changes their personality and takes away their dignity. It places huge financial, physical and emotional burdens on families who must care for their loved ones -- and, I should add, most of those caregivers are women. It's a cruel, drawn-out death.

A friend recently called it "the worst disease ever." I think she's right.

If you follow dementia and Alzheimer's disease research, you will know that the Obama administration recently announced its first national strategy to fight Alzheimer's -- the most common form of dementia. Calling it "one of the most-feared health conditions," it outlined a program with the goal of finding effective treatments by 2025. However, I've since read that this effort is woefully underfunded.

From what I can tell, dementia research is splintered and we're not close to a cure or even those effective treatments. I shudder to think of what will happen as my generation, the baby boomers, ages and becomes more vulnerable to the disease.

There are more than 75 million baby boomers -- our largest generation ever -- and every seven seconds, another boomer turns 60.

The clock is ticking. We need a fully-funded, coordinated national effort or we face big troubles ahead.

Today, when I think about dementia, I still get angry. How does it make you feel?

 

Follow Nancy Wurtzel on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@nancywurtzel

I first noticed signs of my mother's dementia during a trip home to Minnesota. I remember feeling panicked. You see, my dad had Alzheimer's disease and needed full-time care for more than five years.
I first noticed signs of my mother's dementia during a trip home to Minnesota. I remember feeling panicked. You see, my dad had Alzheimer's disease and needed full-time care for more than five years.
 
 
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Matt Blanc
10:54 AM on 04/10/2012
Be aware of high blood pressure and strokes as a path to dementia. My mother had small strokes - so small no one noticed until her speech disappeared. She was taking blood pressure meds and fell frequently from poor circulation. And she seemed to have a knack for falling on her head. With loss of speech came loss of comprehension, and she became fearful and angry. She sometimes knew me, but more often thought I was her father. When she had a massive heart attack at age 87 and became unconscious, and doctors started talking about a pacemaker, I had to pull out my medical power of attorney and argue to let her die as she had indicated - without pointless treatments. She was frightened and uncomprehending of anything around her - what value would there be in putting in a pacemaker to keep her in that condition for a few more weeks or months? It wouldn't reverse the dementia. The head of medicine was a sympathetic guy and agreed to give her morphine for her pain and nothing else. One of the older nurses was also sympathetic. One of the younger nurses had been concerned that if we gave mom more morphine 'it could make her addicted' -- as if she was ever going to regain consciousness anyway!
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
12:35 PM on 04/13/2012
Thank you so much for coming to read and for your comment. Amazing about the young nurses reaction to the morphine. So many people just don't "get" how dementia takes the person away and only a shell is left. Sadly, some of these people are actually health care workers! Hang in there.
07:49 AM on 04/10/2012
It makes me feel horrible and helpless to do anything...I fear that my dad has Lewy body dementia and I am having a very difficult time getting doctors to listen. I am the one caring for him ...he has many other ailments as well. Without me fighting for him..he would already be dead. Even his neurologists said there was something "a" typical going on in his brain...what the heck! Duh! Going to see another neurologist tomorrow...pray I don't get the same crap.
Thanks for writing about this much undiagnosed disease
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
08:17 AM on 04/10/2012
Oh, I feel for you...and obviously, from all of these comments, you are not alone. Hang in there. I've been in situations where doctors misdiagnose or simply dismiss me. Makes me crazy, too.
02:10 PM on 04/10/2012
Thank Nancy..blogging and venting have saved my sanity. I appreciate your feedback and will continue to peruse you blog. God bless
09:25 PM on 04/09/2012
My mother is in a board and care right down the street from me. Three years ago her slight dementia went 'full blown' when she drove her car into a tree.

These past years have changed my life. My mother, once so reactive to one's political persuasion, religious affiliation, skin color and sexual preference (to name a few), has dropped every one of those 'attachments to form' and occupies the present moment exclusively.

Had I shared her political, religious and other views I might experience this as a tremendous loss. But the chasm between us that these differences created made a close relationship with her difficult prior to the dementia.

It will sound odd but this opportunity to heal had been a gift. I see now how her care-giving as a nurse and as my paraplegic father’s devoted companion is in her blood. She can’t witness the struggle of a fellow resident without literally extending a hand to help and she can’t sit down to a meal without trying to give away her food to a hungrier, perhaps needier resident. At her core she is, as we all are, pure shining love.

Care-giving definitely takes its toll; and long term care insurance as mentioned eases the burden. I have come to view my mother's loss of faculty as a sacred time to access compassion in myself and to gently begin the process of letting go - of her, and of my own 'attachments to form'.
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
10:50 PM on 04/09/2012
What a fantastic comment. Thank you so very much. We actually have quite a bit in common since, sadly, I always had a lot of issues with my mother's issues and outlook as well. In many ways she is a nicer person. I need to blog about this as well. As you can tell, blogging has become my therapy. Please come back to read.
10:31 AM on 04/10/2012
Interesting that you had similar issues with your mother and totally understand about 'blog therapy'. Thank you Nancy for your honest work. I will come back!
02:49 PM on 04/09/2012
My grandfather was diagnosed with dementia just this past year. His "wife" used to yell at him and say he was fine when he would mention that he had trouble remembering things. We have since removed her from the situation and he is in an assisted living facility with a personal caregiver coming by on a weekday basis to tend to his needs (running errands, calling my mother for updates, etc).

The best thing he ever did apart from marrying my gem of a grandmother was purchase long term care insurance. He paid into the policy for 30 years and it has allowed him to live in a one bedroom facility with all meals- should he have to move to a more skilled facility due to deterioration it will cover that cost as well.

Please, please get long term care insurance. It will lessen the financial burden on your families and allow them to focus more on what is important- your health and well being.
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
03:17 PM on 04/09/2012
Hi, This is really good advice and I need to look into it. I urge others to do the same. Thanks for the comment!
ASFerris
author, screenwriter, editor and champion of all &
11:12 AM on 04/09/2012
My mom had dementia. Dementia is so very cruel, and uncompromising. It stripped her of everything she loved and enjoyed in her life. In my memoir, I write about encountering menopause just as she was encountering dementia.
Thank you so much for sharing this and writing this post.
Amy Ferris
Author: Marrying George Clooney, Confessions From A Midlife Crisis (Seal Press)
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
02:50 PM on 04/09/2012
Amy, I've read your blog...and appreciate you coming to read here at HuffPost. Thanks for sharing your experience. Yes, we are often hit at midlife with caring for aging parents and going through menopause -- making it all that more difficult. All my best to you.
10:54 AM on 04/09/2012
You are right. I never thought of it this way but dementia is a progressive, always fatal disease. The fact that someone gets it when they are older does not make it any less a fatal disease. My mother had dementia, some of which I suspect was brought on by two major surgeries she had after the age of 75. One was heart surgery which lasted for 12 hours. Her mental faculties never quite made it back after that.
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
02:53 PM on 04/09/2012
Thanks for your comment. You are right, most of the dementia patients are older, but there is early onset dementia and that can affect someone in their 50s and 60s or sometimes even younger. It's especially cruel. Also, I do see that my mom's dementia is worse when she has had physical problems, so I can really relate to that. I'm sorry about your own mom.
Bellla
Trans & Proud
08:43 AM on 04/09/2012
I knew at least one woman who killed herself rather than loose herself to dementia, I respected her decision to do so as I remember only too well, my grandfather tied into his wheelchair, beyond even the power of speech with dementia.
Suicide is the only human right that cannot be taken away. They can only prosecute you if you fail.
The illegality of Suicide is one of the ironies of our day.
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
10:14 AM on 04/09/2012
Yes, I have friends who said that they are doing this. You have to have a plan in place before you slip beyond that point. Thanks for the comment!
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mzrecycle
a very subtle micro-bio
08:37 AM on 04/09/2012
There has been some research that shows Alzheimer's is a form of Diabetes. Dr. Oz featured the scientist on his show. The networks have also addressed this.
I've seen an segment on CBS Sunday Morning that the ketones in virgin coconut oil have been very helpful in giving Alz. pts. better functioning. It seems that when the insulin receptors in the brain have been destroyed, the brain CAN use ketones to keep the brain functioning. This is no total cure, but along with other meds, can help.

For those who are concerned about getting the disease, keep track of your blood sugar, no matter what your age or weight. Even if you don't have symptoms of diabetes, it can be important to check the blood sugar, as most people with Alz. don't have DM.
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
10:27 AM on 04/09/2012
You bring up some good points and I did hear about the possible insulin connection. I believe that the research to date may have been focusing on the plaque but that this might not even be the cause...so much wasted time, energy and money. It is like we are back at the beginning and we still don't even know the cause. Tx for sharing and please join me over at my blog, Dating Dementia.
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mzrecycle
a very subtle micro-bio
07:18 AM on 04/10/2012
On the Dr. OZ show, the woman who discovered this connection discussed how she was investigating another condition. For her study, she killed the insulin receptors in the brain (not in a person), and expected to find the disease she was studying. In stead, she found Alzheimer's. There are similar studies that have bee done in Europe. For anyone who is blogging about Dementia, I feel this is an important finding to follow. By now there are many sources that can be goggled.

Several news stories on NBC, ABC have covered the loss of insulin in Alz., as well Dr. OZ. There is a pharmaceutical product that has a concentrated version so that the brain cells get fed and don't die.
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olderthan
08:29 AM on 04/09/2012
I understand all of this as I am living it. My husband is in a nursing home and remains quite healthy as his mind drains away. His care will take all our savings. I feel myself forgetting names and words and wonder how long it will be before I must take myself out. There is no cure and I will be out of money. This is just the way it is for many, many people today.
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
10:16 AM on 04/09/2012
Oh, I really feel for you. I hope you have a support system. I don't have a great one, but we do need to reach out to others. Please know you are not alone -- there are so many of us. There has to be a better way for us to connect with others. Thank you for reading and for sharing.
08:20 AM on 04/09/2012
My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at the age of 50. People didn't know what to say, and I was told on more than one occasion 'at least it's not life-threatening.'
Being a teenager with a father who doesn't know who you are broke my heart. My dad would continually look at me and ask who I was, and if I'd seen his daughter 'she's only six.'
Eventually, he was put into the nearby hospital that had a ward suitable for sufferers. He stayed there until he died. Even now, people don't know the real reason why my dad died, because to them, Alzheimer's is something that only 'old' people get, grandparents, not parents.
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
10:20 AM on 04/09/2012
I understand that early onset Alzheimer's is just the worst of the worst. Your comment is the perfect example of how this awful disease ruins families. I am SO sorry for the loss of your Dad and your childhood. My Dad had a series of three strokes when I was a teen and it dramatically affected our family (and no one talked about it -- it was shameful and we had to just put up a front that all was ok). I hope you have others to talk with about this experience that has altered your life. Sending good thoughts your way. Thank you for your honesty.
07:09 AM on 04/09/2012
My mother-in-law is now 94. We have three fine ladies with her 24 hours a day during the week. Thus far we have been able to honor her wish to stay in her home of 69 years. Even in a rural area, the cost of care can destroy a life's savings in 3-4 years. She can still speak of and remember events from years past but her mind loses moments from just 5 minutes ago as if they and you never existed. Our two grown kids were with us yesterday as we shared time together and a great Easter lunch. She asks about the grandchildren every Sunday and wishes them well if they can't visit as we care for her.

Within 10 minutes after their departure yesterday, Sallie looked at me and said.."I sure wish I could have seen the grand-kids today". It breaks your heart.
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
10:21 AM on 04/09/2012
This sounds like my former mother-in-law who had dementia for more than a decade and they cared for her at home. It is so heart-breaking. Hang in there and I appreciate you coming to read my post.
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ravenrdr
04:42 AM on 04/09/2012
This is a battle we all have. No, not dementia, the role of the federal government. Do we want it to "protect" us from some entity who "may" attack us one day--or do we want it to protect us from the enemy within, the enemy we all face at the end of our lives--disease. Should the government help us fight it? It is up to us to decide? When I get angry at government priorities, I remember, we get the government we deserve. Vote on these things, and you can sleep at night.
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
10:30 AM on 04/09/2012
Yes, government can't protect us from everything. However, we do expect it to do it's best when something is looming and will affect the future of our economy....and I think that dementia is just that. I know it is complicated, but we have to find a cure or treatment. Tx for your comment.
01:57 AM on 04/09/2012
Anybody who chooses undifferentiated cancer over dementia might already suffer from it, because they didn't look at the statistics. Yes, there are treatable cancers. And it's "great" news if you have one of those. But if you don't... it's a rather bleak outlook, and the few years most patients can survive with aggressive, treatment resistant cancers is anything but quality time.

On the other hand, the politics of dementia is very similar to the politics of cancer, with high powered advocacy groups calling for a solution by a certain date and an all out "war", again. Like all other efforts that had these unrealistic expectations, this one will fail just the same. But while it does so, it will give near endless funds to the leaders of these political efforts and it will make them feel like they are important, influential people. And isn't that what's really important?
05:09 PM on 04/08/2012
(continued) A friend of mine in Texas is involved in setting up “memory cafes” so groups of caregivers and patients can come together periodically to provide support to each other. Online support groups are also important. Sites like www.AlzheimersReadingRoom.com have become so popular that they are visited by over 50,000 unique visitors each month. That is a lot of people looking for support! While providing support for patients and caregivers, we need to relentlessly pursue any hint at a treatment or cure for this disease. I volunteer as a Research Intern in the Pharmacology and Experimental Therapeutics Lab at Boston Medical Center. I have been working on studying various enzymes involved in Alzheimer’s. Being able to easily and accurately identify Alzheimer’s at an earlier point in the disease would mean being able to treat these patients at a time when the medications we have available are most effective.
In short, it makes me feel like we all need to take more action NOW.
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
08:20 AM on 04/10/2012
Thanks for giving a shout-out to Alzheimer's Reading Room. I just discovered that support group as well. Very helpful.
05:08 PM on 04/08/2012
It makes me feel like anyone who really cares needs to take action to do several things. First, as mentioned, people need to take care of themselves so as to try to lower the likelihood of Alzheimer’s, although, doing everything right is still, by no means, an assurance against this disease. Also, a lot of attention needs to be placed on those already suffering from this disease. Since there is no sure cure on the near horizon, we need to take measures to make the lives of patients more bearable. This would involve support for caregivers, financial support, more opportunities for respite care and day care, and more attention to activities that are being proven to make a difference. Staying mentally active with activities such as studying languages, enjoying music, and working on puzzles is being shown, again and again, to have the ability to postpone the point at which a patient is no longer able to function effectively in society. In the light of this knowledge, I founded www.PuzzlesToRemember.org, a nonprofit organization that collects puzzles and has already distributed them to over 1150 facilities from Canada to Colombia, South America. I also helped develop Springbok PuzzlesToRemember, http://www.springbok-puzzles.com/category/alzheimers-puzzles, puzzles made specifically for Alzheimer’s patients. Alzheimer’s is such a vicious disease that, very often, it kills the caregiver before the patient. This is why we need MUCH more support for caregivers.
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mzrecycle
a very subtle micro-bio
09:04 AM on 04/09/2012
I've recently heard on news (I think) that virgin coconut oil has been helpful at giving Alz. pts. greater functioning. It's been discovered that Alz. is a form of diabetes, as the insulin receptors in be brain are destroyed. As with "regular" diabetes, when the body can't use sugars, it will use ketones.
The coconut oil has these ketones. You can Google coconut oil for Alz. and find a lot of info. Puzzles and memory training can help us in many ways, but Alzheimer's is a form of diabetes and needs to be treated as such.
Thank you for the efforts that you have started to help those with this terrible disease.
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nancywurtzel
Blogger & Public Relations Professional
08:21 AM on 04/10/2012
Thanks...I'll google the coconut oil. I remember hearing something about it, but didn't follow up. Appreciate your comment.