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Nanette Lepore

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Why I Compared My Sister's Wedding to My Own

Posted: 10/06/11 06:40 PM ET

My sister and I got married the same year. Not the ideal situation, but sometimes love and marriage happen suddenly and people move on an impulse. That's what happened with my sister Michele and Bobby...

In December, I married Bob Savage after dating for 5 years. I was already working in fashion and envisioned the most stylish wedding, but I was on a shoestring budget. I bought an exquisite 1940s lace dress for $45 from the local Salvation Army. The ceremony was at 5 p.m. in a tiny chapel in a park, the snow fell gently, and the setting was perfect. For the reception, we rented a 1930s ballroom and hired a big band with an old crooner to serenade us. Michele had 2 dates at my wedding: one a New York boyfriend who didn't realize he was about to get the boot, and her new love, Ohio politician Bobby Hagan.

I kept waiting for the fun to start, but it felt like I was watching myself trying to have fun all night. The real highlights of the evening were when the minister (my hippie uncle) took ecstasy and started wildly making out with his date, and when Michele's two suitors almost had a duel.

By April, Bobby Hagan had won her heart and Michele was engaged and planning her wedding. She must have been taking notes on what not to do at my wedding, because her wedding was gobs more fun. Throughout the night, my wedding was fresh in my mind as I compared all her details to mine. But that's the key, Michele's wedding wasn't about the details, it was about throwing a big, fun, all-day party.

With a wedding that started at noon, she had 5 more hours of fun than I did. No silly dresses on the bridesmaids, no stuffy rehearsal dinner. She hired a band called the Fabulous Flashbacks, I hired a band that played only foxtrots. Needless to say, her dancing went wild; mine was subdued. Instead of champagne toasts, there were shots of whiskey.

I spent years thinking that if I could do it all over again, I would. Maybe if I ever got divorced, I would have a second chance to make the party rock, but fortunately we sisters have been married to our Bobs for over twenty years -- one of the few decisions from my wedding that I don't regret. Oh! That and my wedding china... I still love it after all these years.

So here's my advice: if you have a sister, make her go down the aisle first so you can learn from her mistakes. And when it comes to a party, no one remembers the details, they just remember the fun.

 
 
 
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09:50 PM on 10/09/2011
I had a blast at your wedding Nan. Thanks,
Uncle Henry
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CollectiveNotIndividual
01:05 PM on 10/09/2011
Bride #1: She loves her man and wants them to have a great future together. Fo that reason she planned a very small wedding....cost even less that what her parents gave her.....and so on the first day of marriage she has $10,000 in the bank and a great future with her man.

Bride #2. She loves herself. As a narcissistic all she can think of is how neat it will be having 200 people in the audiance watching her. On the first day of marriage she owes $40,000 for the wedding. The stress has already begun. The marriage will not last.


Ladies: Which one are you ?
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11:39 AM on 10/09/2011
Don't you just h8 it when the fluff gets all icky and stuff and cakes on your shoes?!?
01:05 AM on 10/09/2011
Years thinking about if you ever do it again? If the two of you are still in love, then thown your self a party, do everything you wish you had done and more. My husband and I got married last year and our friends are still talking about what a great wedding it was. Life is too short, do it again and put your signature on it. Good luck and have fun planning.
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nycagnes
12:51 AM on 10/07/2011
Why don't you have the kind of bash you want for your 25th anniversary.
11:31 PM on 10/06/2011
i'm getting married next spring. i've barely planned anything, but i will certainly keep this article in mind along the way. a wedding is about having a fun party!
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09:50 PM on 10/06/2011
This is so funny...my sister and I are both with men named Bob, she is already married! I will be sure to outshine her wedding; that I didn't attend because it was a cruise wedding that I didn't have the money for! :D
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YakittyGirl
Pro deo et patria
01:31 AM on 10/07/2011
Am I the only one who thinks it's pretty sad that your sister planned a wedding that you couldn't afford to go to? I never had a sister but I think that if I did, I would do what it took to have her there.
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09:34 AM on 10/07/2011
Yakitty girl, there is more to meggymay's story than she is saying. Trust me. I have sisters and when it comes to weddings the small stuff gets 'blown out of proportion'. There are always 'hurt feelings'. (My dad's parents didn't attend his & my mom's wedding. Reason: my gramma didn't have a dress she liked. Read: she didn't like my mom. True story).

When my brother got married his fiancee wanted only one bridesmaid. She picked my 'middle sister' creating a 'rift and hard feelings' between my mom ,oldest sister and & my S-I-L that was never resolved. That's only one story,I have a lot more about the other sib weddings. Comparison between sibs creates jealousy ,which is poison to any family. (Especially sisters).
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08:46 PM on 10/06/2011
I could - would NOT compare my wedding to any other. Ours was very quiet & private, few quests and I loved it! Soon celebrating our 5th we are having a big party!
06:42 PM on 10/06/2011
So, have you learned to throw better parties? If so, then have a re-affirment of your vows and have the party you want!

And if not...have re-affirment and have your sister design the soiree ;)
11:25 AM on 10/09/2011
I didn't know vows expired.