04/09/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

Relationship Detox

When you cleanse your body, you become more sensitized to all aspects of your life. You will naturally want to clean and organize your immediate environment, such as your home or office space. Then, at a certain point, you will be ready to examine your relationships -- how you respond to others, whom you choose to spend your time with, what levels of intimacy you seek, and whether to sign up for certain social commitments. You will find it much easier to identify those relationships that attract a higher caliber of experience and those that do not.

However, before you try to detoxify your relationships, be sure to take a good look at yourself. Typically, once you detoxify your relationship with yourself, you will be able to elevate your other relationships with ease. The hardest part is identifying and then breaking free of the belief systems and social programming that you have absorbed over your lifetime in order to reveal your authentic self. Before you destroy another relationship with anger, take time to clear your physical and emotional blocks and see what happens. If you're brave enough to surrender your ego to the process, you'll find it most liberating -- and really quite fun!

Overeating and Relationship Toxicity

Much of the overeating and junk food consumption I see in my clients originates from relationship conflict. Eating thoughtlessly can almost always be traced back to unexpressed hurt, a fight, or a deep wound from a relationship that was never honestly addressed.

Imagine: Just like on the Internet or in the neurotransmitters in the brain, there are invisible lines of energy that run between people. If the feelings in the relationship are supportive and life-generating, a healthy and harmonious energy will flow between them through an invisible cord. If the feelings are painful, distrustful, or angry, an unhealthy, erratic energy will flow between them.

Now, imagine yourself in the middle of a circle of all the people you've come into contact with in your life. An energy cord extends between you and each person on that circle. The deeper the relationship, the thicker the cord will be. Some of those cords will transmit harmonious currents of energy; others will transmit neutral currents; and yet others will transmit disturbing currents that threaten to throw you off balance.

The dangerous cords that trigger anxiety can sometimes be traced to an "energy vampire" -- someone who lives off your energy by engaging you in exhausting dramas, emitting past resentments, or unconsciously soaking in your energy to feed his or her own. Energy vampires leave you feeling drained, depressed, and sometimes downright sick because they leach your life force.

Remember, everything is energy. Emotions and thoughts move between people in relationships even if those people are not in the same room. For truly effective, long-term detoxification, you must ultimately cleanse your relationships of toxic energy, just as you must cleanse the cells in your body of toxic substances. Otherwise, these relationship cords might pull you right back to an emotional state that's ripe for disordered eating.

How to Dissolve Damaging Relationship Energy Cords

First, look honestly at the relationships in your life to see if the energy cords are transmitting useful energy in both directions, or simply weakening one or both parties. In our mainstream culture, we are steeped in drama--television dramas, movie dramas, celebrity dramas, political dramas, news dramas, workplace dramas--dramas of every kind. We mimic these dramas in our personal lives in ways that go completely unnoticed because they are so common. They override our authenticity and make us reactionary beings--like programmed robots.

Once you know what to look for, it's easy to identify these types of relationships. They are often characterized by unhealthy competition, jealousy, repressed anger, and socially conditioned expectations. Cutting the cords that transmit these energies and seeking to eliminate thoughtless interaction will significantly reduce overeating and self-sabotage. It is one of the most healing steps you can take in your life.

Now, imagine yourself surrounded by a powerful violet, white-gold and pink flame and watch it expand to burn away every old energy cord with the people in your life. Then imagine yourself reinstating healthy cords with those who are very close to you and with whom you wish to share supportive, life-generating energy. You will never destroy anything useful with this pure flame. Try practicing this exercise every day for a week.

Next, commit yourself to stepping out of any destructive dramas that emerge to create and feed inharmonious energy, much in the same way that you've committed yourself to protecting your body from re-accumulating waste from unfit foods. As a result, your relationships will glow with new health!