HuffPost staff writer Natasha Burton and her boyfriend, Greg St. Clair, live together, which means that Monday nights he can either resign himself to the office, or watch "The Bachelorette" with her. He chose the option that wins him more brownie points (watching "The Bachelorette," of course).
Every Tuesday, they'll share their respective thoughts on the latest episode. Missed last week's recap? Read it here.
This week, Emily traveled across the U.S. to meet the four remaining guys' families (and determine which would be least likely to psychologically damage Little Ricki). Coincidentally, we were in Georgia visiting Natasha's dad and stepmom -- Dan and Wendy -- and they were kind enough to add their parental perspective to our hometown episode recap.
Hometown Date #1: Dancing The Chi-Town Polka
After begging for a rose last week, Chris took Emily home to Chicago for a forgettable date at a Polish restaurant -- to celebrate his never-before-mentioned heritage -- and an equally boring dinner with his family. The night concluded with some forced polka-dancing among potentially rented friends and family members. YAWN.
Natasha: Chris prepped Emily for meeting his family by telling her that his dad has an accent that she wouldn't be able to understand and that his mom is overemotional. He sure knows how to excite a gal.
Greg: Given how twitchy and nervous Chris was before taking Emily home, I thought we were in for a drama-filled evening that would most likely conclude with him crying in a corner. Instead, the most interesting part of the night was the fact that his dad kind of looked like Liam Neeson.
Natasha: He tried to hard-sell his son to Emily when he talked with her one-on-one. It went something like this: "If you want a guy who is amazing and awesome, then go with Chris..."
Greg: "But, if you're looking for someone who won't love you forever, then Chris might not be your guy."
Natasha: After Dad's sales pitch, Chris's sister begged Emily to just cut him loose if she wasn't feeling it.
Greg: She had less confidence in Chris than Chris had in Chris.
Natasha: The night finally ended with Chris telling Emily, "You make me feel good ... crazy good."
Dan: That's the worst thing a guy could say.
Greg: Note to self. Never say this to Natasha.
Hometown Date #2: Meeting The Sister-Wives
Jef took Emily to his "few hundred acres" in St. George, Utah for a family gathering at which two crucial people were missing: mom and dad. (His parents are "committed" to "charity work" in South Carolina for two years, which could mean that they are missionaries, in a cult or both.) Even though Jef was wearing shiny, skin-tight jeggings, he tried to show Emily that he's a man's man with some hardcore ATV-ing and clay pigeon shooting before presenting her to his clan.
Wendy: I liked his place the best, but I liked him the least. I just couldn't stand his hair.
Dan: Was that a toupee? It looked like someone laid a rug on his head.
Greg: When we met his family, all of those sisters and babies confused me.
Dan: Were they sisters or wives? This date was obscure.
Greg: The whole thing seemed a lot like HBO's "Big Love."
Natasha: Jef's older brother tried to question Jef's motives for wanting to become Little Ricki's insta-dad while his sisters tried to feel out Emily's willingness to join their ranks.
Greg: And, as far as I could tell, there was no alcohol on the premises. After seven weeks of always having a cocktail in her hand, Emily had to soberly endure Jef's siblings' grilling.
Natasha: After dinner, Jef said that Emily learned a lot about him from spending time with his family, but that "she still has a lot more to learn."
Greg: Like the fact that she's going to be one of five wives. He probably should have put that information in the love poem he recited to her at the end of the date.
Natasha: Too bad Ryan already pulled the love letter card weeks ago.
Hometown Date #3: Seeking a Dutch Interpreter
In Scottsdale, Arie played the dead husband card by showing Emily his racing skills and making her suit up for a couple laps around the track. After he warned her about his "weird" European parents, Emily worried she would be too all-American to impress Arie's mother and racecar-driving father.
Wendy: I actually liked this Arie guy.
Dan: He looked like he had a bird lying on his head. Everyone on this show has bad hair.
Natasha: Dad, I love how you're fixated on the hair. After forcing Emily into a racecar, Arie said that he was worried about his parents offending her. Clearly, he was not aware of the sister-wives situation going on at Jef's ranch when he said he was afraid that they were "too open."
Dan: I thought they were going to be nudists.
Greg: Instead of offending her with their naked bodies, however, they made her feel completely uncomfortable by talking about her in Dutch while she sat there silently.
Greg: When Emily sat down to talk with Arie's mom, the mom dug right in by questioning Emily about her failed relationship with "Bachelor" Brad.
Natasha: Emily tried to "read" Arie's mom but this was impossible because her face didn't move. Luckily, Emily was able to deflect with some nicely rehearsed answers. Arie's mom then imparted some wisdom about marrying a racecar driver so Emily could get a glimpse of what her life might be like in 30 years. Mom approved but I didn't get a warm and fuzzy feeling from this hometown date.
Greg: No one really seemed to click. And the dad made a creepy comment about Emily's cute southern accent. Gross.
Hometown Date #4: Horsing Around In Dallas
Emily put Sean on a pedestal all season and it was finally time to meet his presumably perfect family. Aside from an untamable desire to play practical jokes, his family was pretty damn awesome. Since Sean will probably lose to Arie, we're starting our campaign now: Sean for Bachelor 2012.
Natasha: Instead of showing her the sights or strapping her into some kind of death trap, Sean used his pre-family date time with Emily to pick dandelions in the park, play with his dogs and drink white wine.
Greg: Then, at his parents' house, Sean showed Emily that he's good with kids.
Dan: His niece jumped into his arms on cue. They must have practiced.
Greg: Emily was even more impressed with the kid's playhouse, which looked nicer -- and bigger -- than our apartment.
Natasha: Oh, you mean "Kensington Place"? The most adorable playhouse I have ever seen? If Little Ricki had a say, she would totally pick Sean's family.
Greg: Everything seemed to be going well, until Sean announced a show-changing bombshell -- he still lives with his parents.
Natasha: Emily's reaction was the best part of the episode: "Oh, cool." (What she was really thinking: "I am trying my best to be a cute, nice Southern girl but I am rethinking every conversation we've had.")
Greg: He then took her up to his room, which was strewn with dirty clothes and stuffed animals.
Natasha: Even his muscles couldn't remove the look of abject horror from Emily's face.
Greg: I was relieved when he said he was joking. But, sadly, nobody laughed.
Natasha: The stunts didn't stop there, though. Later, Sean's dad served Emily steamed armadillo on a silver platter.
Greg: But, it turned out that the road kill (which had been rotting in his oven for who knows how long) was just another prank at Emily's expense.
Wendy: I didn't like that they made her the brunt of a joke. But, Sean's still my number one. He genuinely likes her -- I could see it in his face.
Dan: He doesn't blab like the rest of those idiots. And he has the most normal hair. It matches his eyebrows.
At the rose ceremony, Chris got the ax (as predicted) -- then proceeded to make an ass out of himself by complaining to Emily, "But I told you I loved you." Next week, it's time for overnight dates in Curacao, where Emily gets to determine which guy is the best in bed, should she choose to forgo separate rooms and stay as a couple in the fantasy suite. (Greg: Prediction. Jef tries to use a condom for the first time, and gets sent home after Emily realizes that he was trying to use a condom for the first time.) We're pumped for some dolphin swimming, L-bomb dropping and guilt-induced crying ... are you?
Until next time, amuse yourself with some of the best quotes from the latest episode and vote for the one that you think is the most ridiculous.
Follow Natasha Burton on Twitter: www.twitter.com/NatashaNBurton