03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

Feminine Power: Mystical Radiance Is What You Want

At a party, you see a woman across the room with a charisma that is out of this world. On the street, you notice a woman walking towards you with a stride that leaves you in awe. At work, you watch the new sales manager address everyone with such finesse and ease that you feel envy creeping up your spine. At a restaurant, your eye catches a voluptuous vixen flirting with the waiter with such ease and it leaves you wondering -- how does she do that? What do all of these women have in common?

They possess the power of the feminine. This type of Mystical Radiance permeates and radiates from women who are anchored within their body. Their energy speaks volumes and they need not say a word.

These women have no need to be loud, to display or solicit attention from others. Their power is not dependent on outside forces; they have developed their inner forces to feed, nourish and serve them. They rely on inner resources for counsel, guidance and directives. They have lifted the veils of delusional feminine ideology and integrated the essence of authentic femininity. These women did not arrive to such a destination without peril. They struggled, wept, despaired and rose from the ashes like a phoenix. We need more women like this in the world to teach the rest of us how to live with authenticity.

Feminine power in the 21st century is still misunderstood, often times by women themselves. I have witnessed women behave in such inappropriate ways when it came to beauty, men, money and popularity. It is as if on a subliminal level the feminine soul has been convinced that the bread crumbs tossed her way could satisfy her immense nature. I knew a woman who had a high-powered position within the beauty industry. She was smart, capable and assertive on the job. However, when you got her around a man the truth of her self-value revealed itself - she had none. At first, it was disturbing but eventually I realized that her behavior was a cheap imitation of what she had learned from others.

Lack of personal power is a learned behavior. Some of us learn from our mothers, grandmothers or other female relatives who populate our family tree. We absorb subliminal messages from them to settle for less in the realm of money, career, and relationships. In subliminal ways, we are encouraged to stay just like them. However, each generation is destined to break free from such limitations and begin the journey to self-realization. It is a monumental task but one worth undertaking.

Certain religions and societies around the world expect nothing more from a woman than her ability to bear children. In this societal or religious group, a woman can only fulfill her biological destiny and nothing more. She will not be allowed to develop her Divine Feminine potential. Instead, she will be encouraged to give her power away to swine and compromise her identity in the process.

In society, we are taught from a young age to grow up and be the perfect woman. We are expected to do it all and if we can't do it all, there is something wrong with us. We are taught that everything in the world is limited - finances, jobs, men, love, promotions, etc. We are told that sex is the only weapon we have to ensure we get what we want. We are told self-sacrifice is a noble act. We are told that a woman's worth depends on who she marries, where she lives, the size of the rock on her finger, the children she bears, the car she drives, where she shops, the champagne she drinks, and of course, her dress size. We are taught the art of self-comparison - who's the hottest, who's the sexiest, who's the smartest, who's the thinnest - which slowly begins to chip away at our self-confidence. We are taught the ways of powerlessness, not power.

Society has devised so many distractions for the modern woman to keep her from owning her power. Women are expected to hide their intelligence, their power and their strength in order to remain in good favor with the men in their lives. Being influenced by these voices and believing them limits a woman's sense of individuality. So many try to live by these standards only to discover the monster of discontentment is lurking just beneath the surface.

The modern woman lives in a time where her possibilities are endless and her potential ripe. All this freedom has not contributed to her happiness but has been the cause of her confusion. This confusion reveals a duality of thought operating within her - that of archaic beliefs of her feminine function versus her divine need for self-realization. The universe is constantly asking her: Do you want to be free or be in prison? Her dilemma lies in her inability to answer this question and yet answer she must. Her lack of clarity will bring people, things and circumstances that deepen her sense of imprisonment until she is ready to accept her freedom. What does her freedom offer her? The opportunity to create life on her own terms.

Feminine power is different from masculine power. The feminine face of God has enough influence to veto the patriarchal brand of power. However, rarely has this been the case. Women through the centuries were taught to solicit affections from man but to care nothing about his integrity or moral character. They allowed his unsavory conduct and failed to hold him accountable. Our ancient sisters were not in a position to draw the line but we are. For every woman who holds the people in her life accountable teaches them to be mindful in the future of thought, word and deed. Every time a woman says 'This is unacceptable' to her lovers, friends and family, she helps to straighten out the fabric of her being and that of the collective. We are the teachers and mediators of the light. This light is our natural state of being and we must return to our point of origin if we wish to live with love, purpose and meaning.

Also, we need to reclaim being treated like ladies and learn walk away when it's otherwise. We need to develop, what I call, emotional backbone. When you have emotional backbone, you no longer operate on fear but fearlessness. You know if you let go of this man a better one will come along, if you quit your job you know a better one is around the corner, if you speak your truth you know your chronic headaches will disappear.

As women, we must learn to rely on ourselves for all the things we currently want from others. When we are at the mercy of other people for our worth and value, we lose power. When I speak of power, I do not mean forfeiting our femininity to become men. Many women reject their power because they believe they need to act like men. Authentic power is about cultivating your innate divine qualities that affirm your life, your identity and your well-being. You shine naturally when you're aligned with your divine femininity and all who cross your path sense this Mystical Radiance. This draws people to you not because you're wearing the most expensive dress at the party but because the energy you exude piques curiosity or makes people feel amazing in your presence. They can't get enough of you and remember you haven't even done anything. You are simply being yourself. Just being you is enough to garner admiring glances, warm smiles and flattering compliments without the need to be outrageous or to hide your magnificence. At bottom, isn't this what we all want?

A word to the wise, seek out self-realized women and learn from them. They have been in your shoes, they have struggled with the questions and their lives mirror the answers. These women have battled the demons of disempowerment and won. They know the terrain by heart and can guide your footsteps. The next time you see a woman radiating a special or magical kind of energy rather than allowing envy to creep in or allowing petty feelings to emerge - keep in mind - she is a mirror of your authentic femininity.