THE BLOG

Are You Jealous of Others Or Are Others Jealous of You?

12/14/2011 01:03 pm ET | Updated Feb 13, 2012

"If others are jealous of you, then you are on the right path. If you are jealous of others, then you need to find the right path." -- Unknown

One of the questions I often hear is: Why are people jealous? Why are people jealous of me? My reply: Because they only see the destination and know nothing about the journey.

The eyes of jealousy see only the diamond, but lack any insight as to how that diamond was mined. It judges based on external factors and takes no consideration of the process.

In life, when you are finally blessed, only you know what you've been through and what it took to earn every bit of your good fortune. But to jealous outsiders who judge by appearance alone, you mirror what they want to have; but they do not dare to do what you've done to achieve the same results. They covet without merit and they want to have without effort. But life doesn't work like that.

When you want to become what you are not, have what is not yours and take when its not offered, this is a side effect of a mindset that stems from the notion that another person's success or happiness somehow diminishes your own. If someone gets that great job, that wonderful girlfriend or that new house, it means you can't have it. They won. You lost. But perception isn't always reality.

Due to the creative nature of jealousy, you'll find plenty of reasons to feel jealous. But are you aware of why you feel this way? Until you can reach that awareness, you'll continue repeating the pattern of manifesting new reasons to be jealous.

But why be jealous in the first place? Because you have not allowed your own juices to flow, your own light to grow, your own being to bloom. Hence the emptiness inside, and you look at everybody else exterior and compare it to yours. But remember this: Exteriors are made to look beautiful on purpose and can be very deceptive. Do not be fooled into believing that others have it better than you -- no matter what it looks like from the outside -- there's more to a life than meets the eye.

That's why jealousy is self-defeating, because everyone is unique and incomparable. Once this understanding settles in you, jealousy disappears. You are just yourself, nobody has ever been like you and nobody will ever be like you. And you need not be like anybody else, either. If you do, then you need to ask why you want to be a carbon copy of another when you were created to be an original?

Jealousy leads nowhere but to suffering because it changes you, distorts you. You become more and more artificial by imitating others, competing with others. You can go on competing, comparing, nurturing resentments and becoming mean to others, but it will not stop them from getting what they're meant to have. Your jealousy will prevent you from getting what you're meant to have. What you may not realize is that by coveting another's fortune means that you also covet their misfortunes. You can't have one without the other for no human life is immune. To think otherwise is a fallacy.

When you make the effort to become more, jealousy will disappear. Then you simply become you, and you are nobody else, and there is no need because authenticity is priceless -- don't settle for anything less.