Love: Destiny Has Two Faces

03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

All of us to a certain degree believe in destiny. We especially believe in destiny when it comes to the realm of love and romance. But destiny has two faces - it can either be your redeemer or your destroyer. That is why when you are walking on the path to love the ability to discern the face of your destiny is so important. When love or romance enters the scene of your life - learn to discern what this love or romance is here to do. Is it here to elevate you or is it here to degrade you? When there is no discernment on your part, then drama or trauma will ensue in the area of love and relationships.

We are a culture that deeply misunderstands the meaning of love. We associate love with recreation and superficial activities, disposable relationships and instant gratification. We think love happens overnight, we confuse sexual attraction with love, and we follow our FEELINGS. I hate to tell you: love is not a feeling, it is deeper than that. We project our ideas on the other person and we hope that our projections stick, we distort and conform to keep love, we disqualify ourselves and avoid better judgment all in an attempt to keep the charade moving along. We confuse destiny with forever after. Everything in life is destiny - meeting a man at a grocery store and going on a date is destiny - but this is where we need to stop and reflect about what this potential destiny will trigger or bring to light. I know this bursts our romantic bubble but love requires maturity of insight, not some fantasy we are desperate to play out.

It is unfortunate that we are more diligent about our financial life than our love life. Think about it. Would you invest your money with someone who has no experience? Would you hand over your money to just anyone? I'm betting the answer would be no - so then why be so careless with love? Why do we hand it over so easily to someone who may or may not deserve it? Why do we invest our love in people who do not value it? Is money more precious than love? If not, then why don't we show it more consideration? Our love is our life. It is our greatest resource and measures need to be taken to protect its value and prevent it from falling into the wrong hands. Rather than taking the proper measures, we lament and despair that love is impossible to find. Is it any wonder then why so few people find it?

Love will evade us until we understand what it is and respect what it stands for. Searching for it on the outside is a waste of time, because love is on the inside. Are you willing to 'go in' and meet love in the center of your being? From this space, all you do, say, feel and think will be imbued with the fragrance of love and those who are able to smell this delicious scent will either be drawn or repelled by it - it all depends on where they are on the journey.

Inviting love from this space makes you a clear mirror and all who look upon it will either run out of fear or at last rejoice that the perfect reflection has arrived. That is why you should never take things personally when the person chooses to run. You were the mirror and they did not like their own reflection. Such individuals are not yet ready to dive into the ocean and retrieve the precious jewels that lie beneath the surface. They are trapped in a deluded state that says the more partners they encounter the more desirable they really are. But let me bring something to light - the more partners one has the deeper the issues are. We confuse dysfunction with desirability. It is more satisfying to be desired by the right one than a hundred wrong ones. The hundred wrong ones will create an energy pattern within you such as: 'What is wrong with me? Why don't they stay with me?' which over time completely distorts your self-image. The question is this: Are you ready, willing or able to become this mirror?

Becoming this mirror cuts away illusion and puts you in a position to CHOOSE whether this love/romance relationship is worthy of pursuit or not, whether it will enhance your life or not, whether being with this person will bring you closer to the light or not. When one ignores becoming the mirror or runs from the mirror, painful lessons continue until you CHOOSE to see the face of your destiny with clear eyes.