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True LGBTQ Stories: 'Your Son Is Straight Now' (VIDEO)

Posted: 12/16/11 12:09 AM ET

I'm From Driftwood is a 501(c)(3) non-profit forum for true lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer stories. Earlier this year, founder and Executive Director Nathan Manske and two companions successfully completed a four-month, 50-state Story Tour collecting LGBTQ stories from towns and cities across the country. They're pulling some of the most relevant, important and sometimes just enjoyable stories from their archives and sharing them with HuffPost Gay Voices.

When Daniel was 15 years old, he went home to find his parents sitting on the couch and his mother crying. They asked him the question many gay teens fear: "Are you gay?"

"What? No. What are you talking about? I'm not gay." They were like, "We found some stuff on the computer." They found out where I'd been talking, like gay.com and other sites trying to reach out to other youth. I finally got up enough courage, and I was like, "OK, yeah, Mom and Dad, I'm gay."

After initially telling Daniel that they were OK with it, his parents gave him an ultimatum.

"There are two options here. One, you can either leave right now. Just get your stuff and go. Or two, we're going to enroll you into a Christian school and you're going to go see this psychiatrist." I chose Option Two.

Option Two included seeing an ex-gay therapist three times a week for over three years. His therapy included being shown lots of straight porn and encouragement to masturbate to girls.

I would just tell him what he wanted to hear, like, "Yeah, she has a pretty face, she has pretty...," you know, whatever, whatever I thought he might like to hear.

Daniel's last day of porn therapy finally came. After Daniel told the doctor he had masturbated to girls, his parents were brought in for the good news from the doc.

He brought my parents in and was like, "I think your son is going to be OK now. I think that it's worked and your son is straight now. There's not going to be any trouble. If you have any questions, here's my business card." It was basically, "OK, my job is done, thanks for the check."

At the end of the entire experience, Daniel is left wondering how on Earth this type of so-called therapy still exists.

I just can't believe that someone would actually try to do that to someone, especially with the Medical Association now saying it's harmful for people to do this stuff. If your brain is wired one way, you can't change it to be another.

WATCH:

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I'm From Driftwood is a 501(c)(3) non-profit forum for true lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer stories. Earlier this year, founder and Executive Director Nathan Manske and two companions su...
I'm From Driftwood is a 501(c)(3) non-profit forum for true lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer stories. Earlier this year, founder and Executive Director Nathan Manske and two companions su...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
talkstocoyotes
09:19 AM on 12/26/2011
**"There are two options here. One, you can either leave right now. Just get your stuff and go. Or two, we're going to enroll you into a Christian school and you're going to go see this psychiatrist." I chose Option Two.**

They were going to kick a 15-year-old out of the house to survive on his own.

That's Christian Family Values for ya.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
anokie
Youth is wasted on the young.
04:37 PM on 12/18/2011
Here is what is so LOL about this story...a supposed Christian ex-gay therapy is showing PORN to someone that young...a) is that legal? I mean is there an age requirement? I know you have to be 18 here to buy nudie mags b) Don't the Christians gripe about PORN anyway? very LOL!
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oceanofconsciousness
Dogs Against Romney (Cats, too)
03:15 PM on 12/18/2011
Yes, we're okay with it. But you either have to move out (to God knows where) and fend for yourself, or "convert."

What part of that is being "okay with it?" As for being "Christian," these parents know nothing about unconditional love. THEY'RE the ones who need some serious therapy. With a REAL therapist.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MartiniVirtuoso
Outspoken on equality
09:53 PM on 12/17/2011
These parents and the therapist are abusing children. There is no real excuse for this. Anyone showing porn to an underage person should be arrested. Imagine someone showing gay porn to a minor. What would happen to them? If the parents knew they should be charged as well.
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tutibugjl
*Rolls Eyes Over Dramatically*
08:53 PM on 12/17/2011
THERE IS NOTHING TO CURE! Ugh.. The fact that parents think they can send thier son or daughter off to some therapy clinic for being themselves is appalling. Parents should love their children, not give them an ultimatum for who they are.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
rockysparks
there's no law against being annoying.
02:17 PM on 12/17/2011
I have NEVER understood parents who even consider the option, "If you're gay, you have to leave."

Children are God's greatest gifts of love to people. If you're lucky enough to have a child come into your life, it's like God is saying, "I trust you to take care of and nurture this precious creature." I have been blessed with such gifts seven times in my life --- three biological children, two foster children, two adopted children. They're all adults now and most days, I forget which are which.

And I'm a gay dad. When I hear those beasts from Westboro Baptist Church shout things like "God hates f a g s", I shrug it off because I know that God sure doesn't hate THIS f a g, I've got seven reasons that tell me I'm very loved and blessed.

My own parents and I never discussed my sexual orientation, and I've wondered why. Part of it may be that I grew up in a time and place where generations in families just didn't talk about sex much. I married a couple of times, and I remember my mother saying, both times, "Are you SURE you want to do this." She had to have known, but whaddya gonna do? A kid's an adult, he has the right to make his own decisions. for better or worse. All a parent can do is just give them unconditional love, hard as it may be to do that sometimes..
12:43 PM on 12/18/2011
Wonderful post. Your children are lucky and blessed to have you.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
rockysparks
there's no law against being annoying.
04:40 PM on 12/18/2011
I'm the lucky guy to have had swell parents who gave me good examples to follow and to have great kids who raised me as much as I raised them ...
12:44 PM on 12/18/2011
Favved--wonderful post. Your children are so blessed to have you.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
rockysparks
there's no law against being annoying.
04:40 PM on 12/18/2011
No. They're the blessings. I'm the blessed one.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mushimom
It's my dogs world, I just want a piece of it
01:19 PM on 12/17/2011
You know, I wish more parents would just love their kids no matter what! When my daughter told my mother that she is a lesbian and in love for the first time, my mother just asked when can she meet her and to respect and honor each other. Bam. Just like that! It's a big so what in our family if someone is GLBT!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Marian Bailey
screamin demon
10:19 AM on 12/17/2011
How sad for Daniel. Can't the world just let people be who they are? Best of luck to you, Dan, where ever you are.
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gaydood
Denied HC? goto PCIP.gov
10:39 AM on 12/17/2011
hes posting on here! cool huh
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Marian Bailey
screamin demon
11:16 AM on 12/17/2011
Yes, WAY COOL. Glad he's not hiding. Good for him.I don't know why people have to be such prudes about this subject. I'm a 75 year old, old lady, and I can't belittleing anyone for their sexuality. By the way, I'm as straight as they come.
12:45 PM on 12/18/2011
Bless you,Daniel. All the best!
This comment has been removed due to violations of our [Guidelines]
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
timx2
walk a mile...
10:44 PM on 12/16/2011
Great ending to what started as an unnessarry story. So glad to hear that your parents did what they should...love their child. Love won!
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07:09 AM on 12/17/2011
Love doesn't include giving their children an ultimatum that involves kicking them out of their home for being who they are.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
11:08 AM on 12/17/2011
Really? He's still gay and they put him through three years of crap. No, bigotry won. Luckily the young man held strong.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
sparkybrown7877
bornthisway
06:41 PM on 12/16/2011
That doctor reminded me of a clairvoyant I saw once, she told me I was going to be a millionaire.... never to work again.... by the way, I have 2 jobs.....
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mushimom
It's my dogs world, I just want a piece of it
01:22 PM on 12/17/2011
LOL!!!...:D...f&f for the laugh!!..:D
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
b4pangea
Insert clever micro-bio here
06:22 PM on 12/16/2011
One must question the judgment of parents who send their 15-year-old off to some adult to be shown lots of porn and questioned closely about his masturbatory habits.
08:07 PM on 12/16/2011
In their defense, they didn't know the part of me being shown porn and all that... we just never talked about it is all.
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yorktown1979
I don't get no respect!
08:47 PM on 12/16/2011
During all that time of "counseling" as parents they had a responsibility to ask just exactly what was going on. Parents do have a responsibility as much as they'd like to dodge it. To do that to a child is absolutely cruel. Like forcing a left handed person to write right handed. It just isn't natural!
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gaydood
Denied HC? goto PCIP.gov
06:33 AM on 12/17/2011
they do now:)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Atwill
Proud Father of a gay son.
09:56 PM on 12/16/2011
I thought the same thing.
06:14 PM on 12/16/2011
Hi. My name is Daniel Cook, I am the person that is featured in this video. I do want to do an update and say that 2 weeks ago I told my parents that I was gay (again) and they were okay with it this time. They've even started asking questions about stuff like, "What is a GSA? What do y'all do there?" or asking me if I have a "life partner yet." In fact yesterday, much to my embarrassment, while I was having dinner with my mother to celebrate the end of finals, she kept insisting that I go over and give a straight guy my number, because "you never know."

It's definitely extremely weird talking about anything gay related with them, but...at least I'm not getting disowned like I thought I was? ha But, if nothing else, it does give me hope for the future... because, lets face it, if my ultra-conservative, ulta-Southern Baptist parents can at least tolerate it...who knows what can happen.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
sparkybrown7877
bornthisway
06:42 PM on 12/16/2011
Did you give him your number, lol?
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07:15 PM on 12/16/2011
Thanks for updating us, Daniel. I'm so happy for you. I know how you feel about your parents and their questions now that they are accepting you for you who you really are. My dad is very curious. And sometimes his questions are a little inappropriate, but I take them in the spirit they are offered and answer him and try to help him understand when he's being inappropriate. You gotta love 'em!
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Michaela19801
Dante's Inferno aka GOP
06:11 PM on 12/16/2011
What happened later ?

Did his parents ever accept him as gay?
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gaydood
Denied HC? goto PCIP.gov
06:32 AM on 12/17/2011
hes here now ! things are looking better for him:) is that a new pic?
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Michaela19801
Dante's Inferno aka GOP
07:30 AM on 12/17/2011
I guess it's new to you :-)
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gaydood
Denied HC? goto PCIP.gov
05:51 PM on 12/16/2011
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/But_I%27m_a_Cheerleader

its a movie too
But I'm a Cheerleader
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
CrazyThisIs
An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind
01:11 AM on 12/22/2011
I LOVE that movie. Hilarious and sweet!
12:35 AM on 12/24/2011
theres a mvie on Netflix for streaming now called "save Me." Same kind of thing.